To think I'm better off single?!

[notenoughbottle]

The whole weekend I've watched the AIBU board fill up with threads about U 'd'h's and 'd'p's who to be honest sound like absolute idiots. I've been single again for over a year and have three dc's. Things can be difficult but there is no one else to ask so I just get in and do it myself - which is better than when I used to have to nag help from lazy twat ex's. Now I know some of these may be just the h or p having a bad day themselves but I'm genuinely shocked by just how many awful men there are out there and why anyone continues to put up with it. I've been thinking about dating again and I now feel rather put off! AIBU?

theend that's how I feel. Maybe I am very lucky. I do agree that some women I know want to be seen as nice, to the point they end up sacrificing things. It's not something I could do.

But our compromises mean we both are happy and neither sacrifice. I fancied going somewhere on holiday and dh fancied somewhere else. So we are doing both over the next year.

Neither had to back down or sacrifice what we wanted and neither of us fancy going abroad a without the other. We flipped a coin to see whose trip was first...it was mine

If you're single you avoid the inevitable conflicts. But then you never get faced with being challenged over your stuff.

Ultimately it's a matter of what you think the purpose of life is. To be all that you can be (which involves painful growth) or to take the easy path of being less.

Smug and sanctimonious. Trying to argue that just by being in a couple you're a better person? And that single people are lesser?

Utter rubbish.

Well, my brothers all agree marriage to DW turned me into a human being. Which was nice, if completely unexpected. I thought it was just going to be shagging and some new crockery.

It seem that something is forgotten here, about holidays for example. When you are in a (happy) relationship, you do enjoy spending time together, so unless it's something you really hate, going on your partner's favourite holiday is not a hardship or a sacrifice. You wouldn't drag me to a fishing trip, but I am happy to go on a city break if the next one is on the beach. The whole point is being together.

I think you also need to think carefully about your retirement. It's perfectly fine to be single, but I have examples around me where people feel lonely now they are older. They had busy jobs/ friends/ travel when they were younger, but now miss a companion. This is not the case for everybody, it doesn't mean you should settle at all, just keep an open mind.

By the same token, happy couples should keep a circle of friends and family, you never know what crap life can send you, and you can end up alone and struggle.

"take the easy path to being less"

I have never read such rubbish in all my life.

Why does anyone need to "challenged over their stuff"? What does that even mean?

I am single for the first time since I was a teenager and I will never live with a man again. I cannot compromise and I am not giving enough any more. The thought of a man sharing my bed, morning breath, stinky feet, hair and sweat in the sheets, there in the morning when I wake up and back again when I go to sleep, no thanks.

Like op says, when you read all the relationship problems on here, from the cheating, lying, lack of sex to just being plain bored of the same person, I don't know why any of us bother.

Btw I do enjoy male company from time to time but that extends as far as sex and diy and that's enough for me.

Sounds like the rationalisation of somebody in a really unhappy relationship

I've been in an unhappy relationship, been single for many years, and now in a happy relationship. I'd say happy relationship and happy single are equal, though different obviously. I'd certainly rather be single than in an unhappy relationship.

Personally think a lot of people would benefit from the 'personal growth' of being single for some time before they embark on a relationship - too many go wrong because each person is expecting the other to make something better which only they can do but they haven't worked that out because they're too preoccupied with the other person.

Secret " The thought of a man sharing my bed, morning breath, stinky feet, hair and sweat in the sheets, there in the morning when I wake up and back again when I go to sleep, no thanks."

I've never lived with anyone but spent many nights on the sofa bed to avoid this. Hate bed sharing with a passion. Also have insomnia which is much worse when I dint have have the bed to myself.

Then there's the whining about the guy wanting to share a bed....

Yes, I had to wear ear plugs for 20 years and if it wasn't a small babies waking me up it was a husband (we both worked full time too). Most of us on the thread have had marriage and it is not as if we have never had that sharing of lives so have no comparator. Some people by the way are happiest without a partner - there was a recent study on it - it depends on your personality and some people not. It just depends on your personality type. Not all people even those who live alone even without their children living with them are lonely and plenty are at their most lonely in an unhappy marriage. The children and I certainly remember the last holiday abroad with them and their father and how dreadful it was for us all - holidays can be the worst times in bad relationships.

Also some men perfer not to live with women - if you can bear it search Mengoingtheirownway - mgtow on the internet. We can all make those choices. It would be a boring planet if we were all the same.