To feel upset that my friends never give me any compliments?

[ChickenAndCheese]

But are always complimentary to each other?

I am always complimentary to them, I say nice things, I comment on their facebook photos saying that their children look lovely or a nice comment on whatever they've posted a photo of.

I know you shouldn't give to receive but it's dawned on me recently that none of my friends ever compliments me or says anything nice about me, yet they all gush over each other. No one ever says anything to me on nights out about liking my hair/anything I'm wearing/the fact that I've recently lost 3 stone, yet they are all over each other saying how much they love each others' clothes/hair/ooh have you lost weight you look fantastic.

I put a photo of my little boy on Facebook last night, and got a few likes from a few friends, no comments or anything though even though in my opinion it was a lovely photo. Friend has put a similar photo of her son on tonight and has got lots of comments from mutual friends about how handsome her son is, how gorgeous he looks. Sometimes if friends put photos of themselves on FB mutual friends will say how they are 'beautiful inside and out'. I never get anything like that said to me.

And before someone says my kids are probably ugly, I'm pretty sure they're not. My two DDs have both done modelling in the past and DS looks very much like DDs.

AIBU to feel upset that none of my friends ever have anything nice to say about me?

I think you're just so damn beautiful everyone assumes you know and thinks you don't need your confidence building up. One of my friends is stunningly beautiful, and adorably oblivious to the fact, reading this I think I should compliment her more. I sat opposite her for three years and her weight fluctuated by over 3 stone in that time, I didn't notice at all, she always looked amazing. I would comment on her FB photos though.

I think maybe you need to move away from FB and find some different friends. Well done on your weight loss, you look fantastic.

Their gushing over bags/coats/hats/weight loss/eye brows etc sounds utterly tedious.

Sometimes you've just got to know you're alright and not look to others for confirmation.

Don't join in the gushing either. Just keep it simple with a "nice bag" or "great hair" and move on to talk about something very much more interesting instead.

On FB, I get loads of likes and comments by people who don't even bother acknowledging me in real life. Like I give a shit because they are obviously weird people.

Don't use other people and their messed up priorities as a barometer for your own personal worth. You are worth much more than that bollocks.

So just carry on, knowing you're pretty damn amazing for achieving what you've achieved and revel in the support of your dh and your little ds.

The rest just just gush off.

Are you quite attractive op?
I have a friend who is really attractive. She's never complimented and has hardly any close friends even though she's lovely. I think a lot of people are jealous and insecure around her.

This is the only time I celebrate my odd nature as I don't understand the whole need for needing people to say I like your bag, shoes stuff etc.

Plus it's FB, a place for falsehoods and ego stroking, a truly hideous place of lies and exaggerations. It's just people, trying to out do each other really. I came off because too many of my work colleagues tried to out do each other by spewing forth their intellectual thoughts and getting in to scraps online.

I came off FB years ago! I feel liberated. It's one of the best things I ever did!

They do sound like they're very envious of you. Your weight loss and perhaps the fact your kids are more gorgeous than theirs! I don't know you or your life but maybe there's other things they're jealous of...house...holidays...loving relationship etc???
I think it says more about them than you. If I were you I'd keep on complimenting them and show them you're a bigger person! Laugh at envy behind closed doors than get upset about it. I know it's easier said than done though.

I know how you feel OP-especially about photos of children. I also think that people who talk about needing approval from fb etc are slightly missing the point. I am not that bothered if no one likes a picture I put up. When the exact same people fall over themselves to comment on some pointless status from someone else (e.g Bad Traffic Today!!! 37 likes) it does make me feel a bit rubbish . That doesn't hurt any less just because it takes place on a screen.

Are you 100% sure that you're not seeing lots of compliments on facebook but not registering that they're shared out between a lot of people? I don't agree that someone is not your friend if they don't compliment you constantly or at all, even if they compliment others. You've got to look at friendship in the round. I think you need to focus on building some self-esteem that doesn't depend on compliments from others.

I feel bad for you - however silly social media it, these are the times we live in and we all like a little recognition and appreciation.

I always gush about friends photos of their children because I know how much it means to me when they return the favour over photos of my toddler son.

My take away from the whole subject is that it really is very meaningless. Try to stand above the whole subject and see it for what it is - whether people bother to click a button on their phone or not. Not really that important, and no reflection on your qualities.

And I predict your friends all perceive you as better looking and more 'sorted' than they are. I don't blame them for this. We are all human.

I'm on the edges of a group of women friends who are like this in RL (I'm mainly friendly with one of the group, who I like, and sometimes get invited to group things because of her). This kind of behaviour is one of the reasons I don't want to be friends with them!