To feel upset that my friends never give me any compliments?

[ChickenAndCheese]

But are always complimentary to each other?

I am always complimentary to them, I say nice things, I comment on their facebook photos saying that their children look lovely or a nice comment on whatever they've posted a photo of.

I know you shouldn't give to receive but it's dawned on me recently that none of my friends ever compliments me or says anything nice about me, yet they all gush over each other. No one ever says anything to me on nights out about liking my hair/anything I'm wearing/the fact that I've recently lost 3 stone, yet they are all over each other saying how much they love each others' clothes/hair/ooh have you lost weight you look fantastic.

I put a photo of my little boy on Facebook last night, and got a few likes from a few friends, no comments or anything though even though in my opinion it was a lovely photo. Friend has put a similar photo of her son on tonight and has got lots of comments from mutual friends about how handsome her son is, how gorgeous he looks. Sometimes if friends put photos of themselves on FB mutual friends will say how they are 'beautiful inside and out'. I never get anything like that said to me.

And before someone says my kids are probably ugly, I'm pretty sure they're not. My two DDs have both done modelling in the past and DS looks very much like DDs.

AIBU to feel upset that none of my friends ever have anything nice to say about me?

[Duckdeamon]

I'm on the edges of a group of women friends who are like this in RL (I'm mainly friendly with one of the group, who I like, and sometimes get invited to group things because of her). This kind of behaviour is one of the reasons I don't want to be friends with them!

[LHReturns]

I feel bad for you - however silly social media it, these are the times we live in and we all like a little recognition and appreciation.

I always gush about friends photos of their children because I know how much it means to me when they return the favour over photos of my toddler son.

My take away from the whole subject is that it really is very meaningless. Try to stand above the whole subject and see it for what it is - whether people bother to click a button on their phone or not. Not really that important, and no reflection on your qualities.

And I predict your friends all perceive you as better looking and more 'sorted' than they are. I don't blame them for this. We are all human.

[theycallmemellojello]

Are you 100% sure that you're not seeing lots of compliments on facebook but not registering that they're shared out between a lot of people? I don't agree that someone is not your friend if they don't compliment you constantly or at all, even if they compliment others. You've got to look at friendship in the round. I think you need to focus on building some self-esteem that doesn't depend on compliments from others.

[KatsutheClockworkOctopus]

I know how you feel OP-especially about photos of children. I also think that people who talk about needing approval from fb etc are slightly missing the point. I am not that bothered if no one likes a picture I put up. When the exact same people fall over themselves to comment on some pointless status from someone else (e.g Bad Traffic Today!!! 37 likes) it does make me feel a bit rubbish . That doesn't hurt any less just because it takes place on a screen.

[Guiltydilemma]

They do sound like they're very envious of you. Your weight loss and perhaps the fact your kids are more gorgeous than theirs! I don't know you or your life but maybe there's other things they're jealous of...house...holidays...loving relationship etc???
I think it says more about them than you. If I were you I'd keep on complimenting them and show them you're a bigger person! Laugh at envy behind closed doors than get upset about it. I know it's easier said than done though.

[Olddear]

I came off FB years ago! I feel liberated. It's one of the best things I ever did!

[Theendispie]

This is the only time I celebrate my odd nature as I don't understand the whole need for needing people to say I like your bag, shoes stuff etc.

Plus it's FB, a place for falsehoods and ego stroking, a truly hideous place of lies and exaggerations. It's just people, trying to out do each other really. I came off because too many of my work colleagues tried to out do each other by spewing forth their intellectual thoughts and getting in to scraps online.

[TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief]

Are you quite attractive op?
I have a friend who is really attractive. She's never complimented and has hardly any close friends even though she's lovely. I think a lot of people are jealous and insecure around her.

[winkywinkola]

Their gushing over bags/coats/hats/weight loss/eye brows etc sounds utterly tedious.

Sometimes you've just got to know you're alright and not look to others for confirmation.

Don't join in the gushing either. Just keep it simple with a "nice bag" or "great hair" and move on to talk about something very much more interesting instead.

On FB, I get loads of likes and comments by people who don't even bother acknowledging me in real life. Like I give a shit because they are obviously weird people.

Don't use other people and their messed up priorities as a barometer for your own personal worth. You are worth much more than that bollocks.

So just carry on, knowing you're pretty damn amazing for achieving what you've achieved and revel in the support of your dh and your little ds.

The rest just just gush off.

[Pseudo341]

I think you're just so damn beautiful everyone assumes you know and thinks you don't need your confidence building up. One of my friends is stunningly beautiful, and adorably oblivious to the fact, reading this I think I should compliment her more. I sat opposite her for three years and her weight fluctuated by over 3 stone in that time, I didn't notice at all, she always looked amazing. I would comment on her FB photos though.

I think maybe you need to move away from FB and find some different friends. Well done on your weight loss, you look fantastic.

[CaoNiMao]

I think if you base your happiness and self-worth on Facebook seal-claps, there are deeper issues at play.

[Fratelli]

They all sound really wierd tbh! They're probably jealous of your weight loss.
You don't need other people to tell you your kids are gorgeous. And you don't need other people to qualify your weight loss. You sound like the only reasonable person out the lot!

[FastWindow]

You are probably the most well adjusted of the lot. If they all need the gushing compliments at this age, well then, more's the pity. Leave them to it?

[FastWindow]

Well if theres one place that isnt Facebook it's here.

[OneTiredMama]

They probably aren't being genuine with their compliments anyway so their comments are worth nothing. I agree with others here, they're likely to be jealous of your weight loss. They aren't real friends and I'm sure you look bloody lovely, it would just gall them to say it.

[nattyknitter]

Facebook doesn't show everything to everyone. If your friends have a lot of friends they will only see a small percentage of those on their feed. It could be that you are not showing up to them due to the programming.

Well done on your weight loss.

[affogato]

Do you like their pictures? I tend to find a lot of it is reciprocal.
I can't think why anyone would ever be jealous of child modelling TBH. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Although I'm sure your children are lovely!

[Fatmomma99]

I don't do FB, so can't really comment, but from reading your posts, I'd suspect they're jealous of your weight loss and your kids having done modelling. We compliment each other to boost the self esteem of people we like. It seems they don't think you need that, maybe?

Do you join in the compliments?

[WorraLiberty]

How do you react when complimented?

Do you come across as uncomfortable?

[Chinesealan]

I can only think they're not really your friends.

[VertigoNun]

It's as hurtful in rl as fb. They don't think much of you OP. I would pull back and invest your time elsewhere.

I am sure there is nothing wrong with you and your family, it's all social nonsense.

What groups could you join and enjoy in rl and on fb?

[ChickenAndCheese]

Thank you icelolly, I think you might be right that they're jealous, DH says the same thing about them when I have been upset in the past that they've not noticed.

[icelollycraving]

I suspect they are envious of your weight loss. They aren't friends.

[ChickenAndCheese]

It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling like I do, TheIncredible. Like you say, it does feel a bit shallow but it does feel really bad and then of course it makes us question why no one can even just type a one word complimentary reply on FB occasionally!

It's very hurtful.

Do you find that your friends are like this in person too? Mine are, gushing over each other and liking each others' hair/bag/coat/figure but no one ever comments on mine. Not one single friend has noticed or at least said anything about my 3 stone weight loss. Yet if another of them loses a pound in weight they sure notice and compliment them!

[icelollycraving]

Also,if people have loads of friends that they post on frequently,your posts will show on their feed for a very limited time.