To hate the office lunch box police

[lastqueenofscotland]

Anyone else have these, the ones that disect the nutritional value of your lunch, the ones that hovver until you have given a full and detailed rundown of exactly what you're eating, or the worst the woman who comes and sticks her face in ot and smells it uninvited to do so?!

I can deal with lost office etiquette but this is driving me up the wall at the moment.

You're one of them Trucking!

YADNBU. The lunch police were the thing I hated most about working in an office. I don't particularly like eating in front of people anyway but they made it even worse! And we had one guy who I'm sure meant well, he'd bring enough food for the whole office and try to feed everyone. Maybe ok for some people but I have IBS and a list of food as long as my arm that I can't eat unless I want to spend the afternoon on the loo and he'd try to guilt me into eating whatever he was offering even after I'd explained that I wasn't being fussy, I really couldn't eat it. Lots of "there's plenty left because LadyB doesn't want it!" and "It's ok LadyB, I'm not trying to poison you!" comments. Gave me the rage.

I used to work with a woman who breathed heavily with her mouth open whilst making a rasping noise, not only did she have this affliction but she also had the most rancid breath.

Whenever I sat down with lunch she would visit me and breath foulness and rasp and clap her lips together whilst staring longingly at my food.

It used to make me want to vomit.

I soon deferred getting my lunch until she had left for hers, but it was tough, she never went for lunch before 1.30pm.

Reading all of these is so cathartic

I work on my own now, but there was a woman who would always say "oooh naughty" when she saw me with a chocolate bar. No, not naughty at all, just having a bar of chocolate.

I would love to be one of those people who happily get away with commenting on what people eat. But oh no, I have to judge in my head now as apparently it's wrong to tell someone they can't lose weight due to all the chocolate and crisps they inhale....oops.

This thread is reminding me of a live report I saw when the hype about how bad bacon really is and how you should only have one rash a week (or something like that.)
He was hovering over a group of people (with his cameraman) who were all eating a Full English and telling them how bad it all was for them whilst they were trying to eat it, I was a bit at it really.

This thread is making me really grateful for the lovely people I used to work with. We'd quite often have a pot luck lunch with everyone bringing in a part eg nice cheese, salad, soup. Or we'd go to the park for a picnic. Never any judgey comments. Ah, I miss them (and the amazing soup that one of the guys made!).

My favourite person was the one who would look at my delicious gluten free lunch (Coeliac) and comment about how terrible it must taste and thank God she didn't have to eat 'that awful stuff' and how sorry she was that I couldn't eat the delicious (insert detailed description of meal here) that she was eating.

But, she was a bitch about everything, so hey-ho, whatever.

I eat in my car to avoid all this stuff, I find it embarrassing and rude !

Christ almighty. What kind of places do you all work in? My office are really nice and we make occasional very nice comments. That's it!

At my last place of work whilst pregnant with DD (who is mostly made of mini eggs ) ...the resident food/fun police person opened her Eat salad and there was a huge, live moth in it.

She stopped bothering people so much after that. Well, about lunches anyway!

My work has this. Its really annoying. I love cooking and food and i love japanese food. I also love the whole bento box thing. Annnyyy hooo i made myself a bento box full of very cute food (ok so im a 25 yr old married woman but hey it makes me happy!) And a manager walked over and looked at it and said 'whats that???!!!' 'Are they ....chop sticks??? How pretentious! ' and walked off again!

It wasnt like i was walking around showing everyone my random lunch, on the contrary, i was on my own because i knew it was slightly weird!

I work in one of those places where everyone eats super healthily and most are on some kind of diet or other. Dread to think what would happen if anyone had crisps or chocolate. One especially aggravating lady refers sadly to her tiny, boring lunch every day, wistfully recalling the days when she wasn't so overweight. There is another lady who tells me about how bad cereal is and how much hidden sugar there is in everything every time I sit anywhere near her.

Anonymously bring in a big plate of cakes and leave them out in a prominent position. Secretly laugh when they get themselves in a tizzy over it.

I took in a birthday cake for a colleague once, which everyone in our office (but not department) had chipped in for. We didn't manage to eat it all so left it by the fax machine for later other people to try.

The food police from the office next door came through and began vociferously complaining about icing/cake/carbs/sugar/fat/sprinkles etc. She was generally a bit of a killjoy and I'd had enough so...

I stood up and said "Well don't eat it then". As the office was in the North East, and the rest of our room was composed of Geordies. Maccams etc, I got cheers, laughter and a round of applause. She looked shocked and said "So the fightback begins" and scuttled off.

It was bacon and brie butties and triple cooked chips all round for a while after that. Then we settled back into our regular pattern of cake on a Friday and chips at the local on payday.

I miss working there a bit to be honest.

Sounds like a fab place, pit pat. I also love bento box type things, spilly.

Before being pregnant I ate healthily and trained 5 days a week, and got lots of comments about how I never ate enough, or I should eat low carb/high protein etc...

Currently pregnant with twins and the babies are mostly made of salt & vinegar McCoy's crisps, mini eggs and jacket potatoes....and now I get comments on how much shit I eat....I'm growing 2 people inside me - give me a break!!

People are so weird about food!!

Many years ago I worked in a hairdressers and EVERYTHING that passed your lips was scrutinised. You couldn't win. I was told I should go easy on the cottage cheese one day; after that I thought "fuck this" and took to going out at lunchtime to eat hot pies.

The best thing about being self employed is the absence of the Lunch Monitors.

They drove me completely mad. ESPECIALLY the sniffers. If I am eating my lunch I do not want your hooter stuck in it. They were worse than the Calorie Accountants and the Microwave Security Guards*.

*Able to give you a calorific profit-and-loss account of your meals across the span of a week due to an unhealthy interest in other people's weight

**They stand grim-faced and arms-folded by the microwave while their food is cooking to deter challengers. If you have your food in there and dare to pop to the loo while it cooks, you come back to find it's been removed and one of them is standing guard over their own food instead.

I agree with Laura, being self-employed is really good for avoiding the lunch police.

However, many moons ago I used to work in an office and it was a bit like many PPs have said. Constant commenting on what people ate. I usually went out and sat on a wall nearby as it was easier (as well as good to get a bit of fresh air).

I dont understand why it matters what others eat, you dont have to eat it so whats the problem?

Someone walked past me today and commented 'that's a massive plate of food are you going to eat all of that??'

I am on slimming world which means I have an appetite. It was a jacket potato tuna mayo roast veg and homemade coleslaw. This woman then proceeds to work her way through 4 cakes this afternoon while I'm sitting here not eating cake.

Rude.

Laura I love "calorie accountants" I'm going use that

Conversation a few years ago.
Her: what's that you're eating?
Me: an avocado,you not seen one before?! (We were friends, I wasn't being rude!)
Her: not raw like that (no idea what she meant)
Her (size 24): aren't they full of fat though?
Me (at the time size 10): yes but it's all good fat and fills me up for a bit
Her: I don't know how you can be so thin then, I'd much rather just eat crisps (said with hand in bag)