To hate the office lunch box police

[lastqueenofscotland]

Anyone else have these, the ones that disect the nutritional value of your lunch, the ones that hovver until you have given a full and detailed rundown of exactly what you're eating, or the worst the woman who comes and sticks her face in ot and smells it uninvited to do so?!

I can deal with lost office etiquette but this is driving me up the wall at the moment.

I've worked with a few Lunch Monitors in my time. Unbearably annoying. From 'What's that?!' nosiness and face pulling to 'Eeeeeew HOW CAN YOU EAT THAT???!!!' Had a really sweet tooth when pregnant and was ridiculed daily for my trips to Greggs for doughnuts and iced buns - didn't stop them devouring anything that was offered tho, or 'borrowing' my chocolate and fizzy drinks from the fridge! No one like that atm ... you could eat your own arm off and no one would comment. Feel for ya OP!

It's a game you can't win,

I remember my boss warning me that all the sugar in carrots would make me fat...

then being chided for eating fish and chips on Fridays in the canteen

The worst are people on diets, who eat sad little salads from Boots whilst tutting about our BLT/chips/cake, and then proceed to eat masses of biscuits by 4pm and telling you off for not joining in the "fun" (i.e. the biscuit binge) and ask if YOU are on a diet, and to lighten up

So many people are weird about food now!

Fuck the cake-stealing line manager! I can hold my temper when people comment but if a colleague actually interfered with my food they'd feel very sorry for themselves after!

It's really bad manners IMO

Oh babyganoush we have a slimming world bore who can tell you the sins/points/whatever they are in whatever you are eating, that it's not good for you etc, while drinking her way through a 6 pack of diet coke a day.

I found that certain women at my last place of work got VERY interested in my lunch when my weight loss became obvious. They were the very, very dull people who were utterly obsessed with calories and 'syns' and everything they put in their mouth they had to comment on to each other

'Oh have you logged that hun?'
'These are amazing, only 123 calories and 3.6g of fat'
'How much weight have you lost this week?'

Etc etc etc.

I didn't care, however the problem was - they tried every faddy diet under the sun, used weight loss pills, slendertones... but also ate a LOT of junk (they were always the first out to the kitchen when it was someones birthday and there were cake / doughnuts) so they didn't lose weight.

Again... each to their own.

After 3-4 months, I'd lost a fair bit of weight, so they started to talk to me about calories / fat etc. Despite saying 'I just eat healthy and don't eat junk food' (truth), they figured I had some magical 'secret', I wasn't telling them, so used to pounce on me at lunch and literally comment on what I was eating every single lunch time.

It got so bad, I used to wrap my lunch up in a box, clingfilm it so they couldn't see what was inside, put it inside ANOTHER plastic bag and go downstairs to the foyer to eat....

They then convinced themselves the only reason I was losing weight was because I was starving myself as they never saw me eating...

That's why I love having an office to myself (she says eating a pot noodle - a smelly curry one as well)

Good grief, I'm so glad I have never encountered this! Have people really got nothing better to talk about?

Oysterbabe your DD sounds delicious, can I have a nibble of her toes?

I love this thread, our office kitchen is exactly like this drives me mad. People mostly make positive comments about my food but its still annoying, especially when they start leaning over or wont stop staring at me eating!

People love trying to make 'their' diet everyone else's too, my boss is currently trying to sell me a ZERO carb diet, for the type of exercise I do that's impossible. I just get on with it and leave people alone, I would never try to tell someone how they should be eating or make comments about their food

I had it ten years ago when I was pregnant. I'm vegan and a sales guy had a go at me saying "it may be your choice, but fetus doesn't get a choice, you should eat meat and dairy"
I was stunned.

I've been driven out of eating in the kitchen but a very rude note on the microwave saying how offensive the smell of cooking fish is and would whoever is doing this wipe the microwave out and open all the windows.

I warmed up a mug of fish chowder in a covered soup mug with the steam vent open. That's all!

Ah, threads like this make me so glad I work from home! This used to drive me absolutely mad sitting eating salt and vinegar crisps for lunch So, so glad to have no one to pass judgement on my pregnancy/life choices too!

I'd have clubbed sales guy to death with a clipboard and eaten him. Win win.

I've had those. Also compulsive water drinkers. I drink only water throughout the day but I have a glass on the go and when I've drunk it I get another one. That way it's always nice and cold as well.

In the mornings I get stuck behind a line of people filling 1ltr plastic bottles to stick on their desk all day so they can monitor their water intake. They probably take a colour chart to the loo to test the colour of their wee.

They always sheepishly apologise when they see me with my glass but never make way, so I just come back 30 minutes later.

I'd get the odd sushi from pret back in my office days. I did it a lot when pregnant. The judgiest colleague looked as though I'd just sparked up a crackpipe. She went mad when I ordered scampi at the office meal too. I also got a non alcoholic beer and didn't tell her what it was, sat back and laughed at her whilst sipping on it.

I've just demolished a Subway footlong and a Fanta for lunch, I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant. I give precisely zero fucks what other people think of my lunch, I was hungry and in the mood for a rather large sandwich.

I'm also one of those compulsive water drinkers though - but I'm lazy, so filling a 750ml bottle 2-3 times a day is easier than getting up for 8-9 little glasses.

"In the mornings I get stuck behind a line of people filling 1ltr plastic bottles to stick on their desk all day so they can monitor their water intake. They probably take a colour chart to the loo to test the colour of their wee."

That is really funny

someone in my office asked me 'what are you filling your face with now?! you can't just eat what you like you know, just because you're pregnant'. she got full on preggo rage!

I have one or two lunch police in my office. I eat my breakfast in work too and get interrogated over that too.

It's a running "joke" between the food police that I often have beans on toast for breakfast. They think this is the worst thing you could ever eat for breakfast.

One is "so healthy" because she only has 2 slices of white toast and butter for her lunch.

'Oh yes, the "ooh, that looks healthy" comments'

This gives me the rage too. They probably only think they're being 'nice' but just sod off. And what am I supposed to say in response anyway - 'yes I'm a right smug cow with my health lunch, bet you're jealous!'???

Also cannot bear the competitive self-flagellating over sweet things:

'Do you fancy a biscuit / cake / something sweet?'

• Oh no, I mustn't
• Oh gosh no, I was so naughty at the weekend, I'm must be good this week
• Oh no, I'm trying to be good
• Oooh go on then, I'll be naughty

FFS, have one if you want to, say no if you don't! Enough with the drama!

Its all faddy diets at my place, and slimming world bores. My sister has the perfect comeback when asked how many points in her food, she always replies 10/10 its fucking gorgeous.

what are you filling your face with now?! you can't just eat what you like you know, just because you're pregnant

Do people not have any manners any longer?! Some of these comments are awful.

Rose I would have paid to see your reaction to that!

Jesus, you're all a bunch of miserable buggers. Seeing what other people have for lunch is dead interesting and no one in our offices goes and 'sits in their car' just cos someone dares to comment on their food. Apart from the diet bores (who are mainly the men in our office), we just usually comment out of interest about how inventive other people are with their choices.

I've worked with loads of these people over the years and it has never varied in any of the places I worked in (hospitals).

I used to be a size 6/8 and every day my lunch was the subject of discussion. If I took a salad on a hot day it'd go "ooh, no wonder you're so thin eating like that". If I got pie and chips from the canteen it'd be "how the hell are you so skinny eating that? Just you wait until you're older. You'll be fair, fat and forty" and they'd practically be rubbing their hands with glee at the thought. Cheeky bastards.