Gaming Dilemma

[Cutecat78]

I made DS1 (now 18) wait until he was 16 to play 18 games. This caused a lot of friction and he was mortified to the point he wouldn't invite and friends around.

DS2 is 13. He has ASD. He doesn't really socialise although does (with friends) over games on his laptop.

For Christmas I got him a (secondhand) Xbox One (he asked for one) and a TV for his room to play on.

He doesn't play on it at all because he only has one game and his mates all play 18 games.

I am adamant he is not playing GTA. But I know he plays 18s at his dad's and I know his brother has bribed him a fiver to not tell me he's played 18 games on his (DS1) PS4.

I wish everyone stuck to the rules (re this) but they don't and I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and am digging my heels in pointlessly and have paid for a gift that isn't being used.

AIBU or do I give up and relax my rules?

I recommend destiny; the taken King. It's a shooter game which I really enjoy and I don't play shooters. No swearing, no sex. Good vs evil plot. It's purely online from the console but you don't speak to anyone, can play solo or join a small team of "guardians" to achieve a goal.

GTA is banned in our house as well. My ds' s have call of duty with parental settings activated. Ds2 never mentions GTA anymore. Ds1 will ask for it tongue in cheek.
When they leave my home they can play what they like. I have accepted they may play it with friends, I don't have to like it.
My house, my rules.

If you are going down the fallout 4 route, i recommend the YouTube channel "fluffy ninja lama" she/he only posts the cutscenes/romance scenes from various games, so you can see exactly what goes on. I also recommend "angry joe" for in depth (talking 30 mins +) reviews and "Jim sterling"for the gaming industry as a whole and the corruption that goes on within.

I second Destiny, you get to change your outfit multiple times. I'm not in to fashion but hell I was pleased when I got ruin wings armour :)

Anyone played The Division beta yet?

I got chatting to a dad at my DDs judo club yesterday - his DS is in the same club but a coupke of years younger thsn ny DD so around 9 yo. The dad lets his 9 to DS play GTA because "its so awesome how could i not let him play it" "however the volume is off so he doesnt hear the bad language"

I was a bit

Watch some game play videos if you aren't going to play it yourself, and remember that when your kids play it they will be immersed for hours.

GTA is not suitable for under 18s. Look at the reports of young girls experiences of violence from boys. It's not caused by GTA, but it is caused and enabled by a culture which GTA is part of where women are treated appallingly. Kids need guidance when they experience the world, adults there to witness it and to talk to about it and to explain however we can. That can be difficult even over a movie which is a couple of hours long. What is the impact of a child spending probably 40 hours plus immersed in a heavily misogynistic and violent adult game world with no adult to help them make sense of it?

You could always say yes, they can play it, an hour at a time to give them time to mentally process it, and only while you are there with them so you can talk about it. I let my thirteen year old play and watch some fifteen games and films under these rules. But only things I've already watched and played first and think she can cope with.