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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

my partner bout me a radio for joint V.day and 40th present

58 replies

Msmuesli · 17/02/2016 21:10

well as it says really aibu to think a radio is not really a show of appreciation for a joint 40th and valentines gift?

OP posts:

jadorecakesnbiscuits · 17/02/2016 21:51

An apple orchard? Gtfo

Original poster

Msmuesli · 17/02/2016 21:57

well that's pleasant jadore perhaps you would prefer me to destroy the planet and create more flooding by paving over my back yard?

OP posts:

Thatrabbittrickedme · 17/02/2016 21:59

Definitely do what gamerchick says...genius

Bogeyface · 17/02/2016 22:13

Wow. This is sooo not about a present is it?

How much time does he spend on his boat with his mate or in strip clubs?

I dont know how you can bear to spend any time with him at all quite honestly, he sounds like a selfish manipulative cunt.

roachslayer · 17/02/2016 22:21

I don't get threads like this. martyr wife complains about something minor, drip feeds in a 'oh by the way this is also an issue but I don't want to draw attention to it' way and waits for everyone to shout 'your husband is a cunt!'.

Why not post about the main issue in the first place?!

BlueJug · 17/02/2016 23:20

I don't think men are worse at presents that women. I think women care more about presents than men. If men get socks or a pair of golf gloves they just say thanks and get on with it. They've forgotten by the end of the week!

Women - get given their favourite perfume - except it isn't their favourite anymore - that was last year and if their partner really loved them/ cared about them/ knew them/put any effort in they would have known that and chosen something that meant something!!

Cue major drama and marriage crisis!

BlueJug · 17/02/2016 23:23

PS - I am the crap present -buyer in our family. Money/ chocs/ wine - that's the limit of my imagination

(Not meant to offend by the way - my post above is meant to be slightly tongue in cheek)

ilovesooty · 17/02/2016 23:26

I'm not sure what the most important issue is but you don't seem to like each other much.

DelphiniumBlue · 17/02/2016 23:52

Off to a strip club? Seriously? I think the radio is the least of your problems if he really meant that.

Monty27 · 17/02/2016 23:55

Get him to take it back and give you the money to buy your own gift.

I'd be 'hmph'

I got a designer alarm clock/radio once that would take a programmer to set it. That's redundant. And so is the buyer of afore mentioned present

whatdoIget · 18/02/2016 00:02

An apple orchard?! Is this about eastenders or the archers or something?

Monty27 · 18/02/2016 00:05

I don't know but it was up there in Which magazine and it was triangular (don't watch the Archers)

Apples always drop if you wait long enough.

BackforGood · 18/02/2016 00:34

Well, I asked for a radio for my last 'big' birthday, so I don't think it's a poor present at all. I like to have a radio in different rooms I spend time in, so don't have to carry one about with me, so again, already having a couple wouldn't necessarily have been a bad thing.
However, in my world, if you want specific things for your birthday (or Christmas, or any other time you might be expecting a present from anyone), you let them know, in advance, what you'd like. It's not difficult. I really don't get this "I expect someone else to know what I want, but I'm not actually going to tell them I'm going to let them get it wrong then moan about them" rubbish.

kali110 · 18/02/2016 01:14

I don't think there is anything wrong with people hinting what they would like on special occasions, we are not all mind readers.
I told my dh one thing i wanted, then others i may like.
We have our anniversary next and he already knows things i want.
It saves buying things i don't really want/need.
This sounds thoughtless though, as you already have more than one radio.
if op doesn't care about him going to a strip club does the thread need to start descending that way?
Not all women have a problem with them.
Is he generally just spending more time without you, and you being an after thought? Like the gift?

kali110 · 18/02/2016 01:15

back so do both my mother and aunt!

Bogeyface · 18/02/2016 02:14

Kali Its not the strip club per se, but the fact that he turned his own fuck up into a reason to be mad at the OP and therefore an excuse to fuck off out with his mates. A decent man would not have done that, and thats the real issue here.

Is he generally just spending more time without you, and you being an after thought? Like the gift?

that is kinda how I read it, that the radio is just the last straw on a very big load.
FWIW I have an amazon wishlist that H can have a gander at if he is struggling for ideas, so I am not averse to "I would really love X for my birthday". What pissed me off was the way a pp implied that her shit gift was her own fault for not writing in sky high letters for him to see. Not all people are shit at gifts, just the ones (ime) that dont really care about the person they are buying for.

Birthdays gifts are a gesture, but you can often see in the gesture just exactly how the giver sees you. In my family one aunt gave all of her nieces identical underwear (in identical sizes despite the 6 year difference between eldest and youngest!) for every gift giving occasion, but my other aunt gave individual gifts that may wildly vary in cost, but she knew thatthey would all love and value. Guess which Aunt actually loves her nieces, spends time with and is loved back by them and which Aunt would walk past a niece in the street and not recognise her?

BackforGood · 18/02/2016 10:50

Not all people are shit at gifts, just the ones (ime) that dont really care about the person they are buying for

Absolute rot.
I am rubbish at gift buying. I hate shopping generally, and many of the people I buy for have quite specific tastes, so even if I did spend days out shopping or trawling the internet for them, I probably wouldn't get it 'right', but that doesn't mean I don't care for them. What an offensive thing to say.

expatinscotland · 18/02/2016 11:00

'Still guess it could have been worse and I took it back so he will have more cash to spent on his lads night out - which in its self pisses me off as we haven't been out for 18 months so kind of feel it should have been us.'

Why do you put up with this shit?

specialsubject · 18/02/2016 11:44

drip feed about a crap relationship.

your call about what you do with your life, OP.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 18/02/2016 11:48

Radios are the least of your problems.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 18/02/2016 11:53

4 radios, an apple orchard, a boat, strip clubs.

I think we need to rip up the MN Bingo card and start a new one...

kali110 · 18/02/2016 13:19

BackforGo yes agree it really is. I hate it when people say that vouchers are unthoughtful too.some People get me vouchers because they know i like them and i can pick what i want.

Original poster

Msmuesli · 18/02/2016 17:25

OK I get it thanks yes it is me bring unreasonably maybe you are right and I should just put up or shut up - thanks for the input. I was actual just asking if being ungrateful and yes is obviously yes is the answer.

Oh and the "oh they must b so spoiled they have a boat" shit I think is a little unfair other people have foreign holidays we go sailing didn't realise we all had to be the same. Its not a huge mega yacht its a 24ft that gives us the ability to take our three kids on the occasional break, which as we live by the sea doesn't seem excessive but I am obviously deluded and would only be acceptable in you circles if instead I had spent my inheritance on a nice new kitchen or upgrading my 15 year old car to be in with the mn crowd.
I apologise for wasting you time with such a banal question.

OP posts:

PaulAnkaTheDog · 18/02/2016 17:28

Surely you can see why your posts were... interesting for people?

jadorecakesnbiscuits · 18/02/2016 17:28

Why do people humour threads like this?

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