my partner bout me a radio for joint V.day and 40th present

[Msmuesli]

well as it says really aibu to think a radio is not really a show of appreciation for a joint 40th and valentines gift?

[mrshudson221b]

Try not getting any gift for birthdays (valentines day does not exist in our house) ever .

[Cabrinha]

It's so not about a radio.

But on the radio anyway, sounds like you have 3 old radios so fair assumption that you like to listen, and he's bought you a DAB one - so much better. Which is a good present, I think.

But... it's not about the radio.

[Marilynsbigsister]

OP I don't think you are bu to be hacked off at your present and his behaviour. A radio (when you have three) smacks of a 'that'll do' present . - caught his eye when he was out trying to get you something and instead of taking sometime and giving it serious thought OR actually spending money on what you had already said you would like... He saw the radio and in his mind went 'that'll do'.... Nobody deserves a 'that'll do ' present for their 40th. !

As for owning a boat...we also own a boat, we also live near the sea, have lots of kids so it's the only way we can afford a holiday - it's not an Abromavitch style super yacht - it's no different to owning a caravan for holidays. MN is sooo judgy sometimes..

But more interestingly, if it's a 'family boat' bought with your inheritance ...what's all this about blokes away days and strip clubs...?

[lborgia]

No, yanbu, but you do realise this maybe be the final straw? You've obviously put up with a shitload of stuff, and then this seems unloving. You may find in time you want to sell the boat, kick him outside into a garden shed, and buy the apple trees. But easily said by me, with hindsight

[Spring2016]

OP, he was very thoughtless buying you a bloody radio for no reason. Then he goes off to a strip club, and did not even take you out for your birthday. Howevet, you mention you bought the boat with your inheritance, if it is yours, you could sell it, get kayaks for the family to have outtings, and get your apple tree's.

[kali110]

witsender apparently if you are well off you can't have problems! I feel really sorry for op.

[witsender]

I don't see anything odd in wanting an Apple orchard or having a boat? FFS people, since when were we all the same?

[kali110]

wow, nice posters. I actually agree with the ops last post. If people even mention they're well off posters suddenly round on them.
Oh, and i am def struggling right now but can have sYmpathy.
Op, not everybody thought ywbu. I've always wanted a lemon tree!

[jadorecakesnbiscuits]

Why do people humour threads like this?

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Surely you can see why your posts were... interesting for people?

[Msmuesli]

OK I get it thanks yes it is me bring unreasonably maybe you are right and I should just put up or shut up - thanks for the input. I was actual just asking if being ungrateful and yes is obviously yes is the answer.

Oh and the "oh they must b so spoiled they have a boat" shit I think is a little unfair other people have foreign holidays we go sailing didn't realise we all had to be the same. Its not a huge mega yacht its a 24ft that gives us the ability to take our three kids on the occasional break, which as we live by the sea doesn't seem excessive but I am obviously deluded and would only be acceptable in you circles if instead I had spent my inheritance on a nice new kitchen or upgrading my 15 year old car to be in with the mn crowd.
I apologise for wasting you time with such a banal question.

[kali110]

BackforGo yes agree it really is. I hate it when people say that vouchers are unthoughtful too.some People get me vouchers because they know i like them and i can pick what i want.

[LilacSpunkMonkey]

4 radios, an apple orchard, a boat, strip clubs.

I think we need to rip up the MN Bingo card and start a new one...

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Radios are the least of your problems.

[specialsubject]

drip feed about a crap relationship.

your call about what you do with your life, OP.

[expatinscotland]

'Still guess it could have been worse and I took it back so he will have more cash to spent on his lads night out - which in its self pisses me off as we haven't been out for 18 months so kind of feel it should have been us.'

Why do you put up with this shit?

[BackforGood]

Not all people are shit at gifts, just the ones (ime) that dont really care about the person they are buying for

Absolute rot.
I am rubbish at gift buying. I hate shopping generally, and many of the people I buy for have quite specific tastes, so even if I did spend days out shopping or trawling the internet for them, I probably wouldn't get it 'right', but that doesn't mean I don't care for them. What an offensive thing to say.

[Bogeyface]

Kali Its not the strip club per se, but the fact that he turned his own fuck up into a reason to be mad at the OP and therefore an excuse to fuck off out with his mates. A decent man would not have done that, and thats the real issue here.

Is he generally just spending more time without you, and you being an after thought? Like the gift?

that is kinda how I read it, that the radio is just the last straw on a very big load.
FWIW I have an amazon wishlist that H can have a gander at if he is struggling for ideas, so I am not averse to "I would really love X for my birthday". What pissed me off was the way a pp implied that her shit gift was her own fault for not writing in sky high letters for him to see. Not all people are shit at gifts, just the ones (ime) that dont really care about the person they are buying for.

Birthdays gifts are a gesture, but you can often see in the gesture just exactly how the giver sees you. In my family one aunt gave all of her nieces identical underwear (in identical sizes despite the 6 year difference between eldest and youngest!) for every gift giving occasion, but my other aunt gave individual gifts that may wildly vary in cost, but she knew thatthey would all love and value. Guess which Aunt actually loves her nieces, spends time with and is loved back by them and which Aunt would walk past a niece in the street and not recognise her?

[kali110]

back so do both my mother and aunt!

[kali110]

I don't think there is anything wrong with people hinting what they would like on special occasions, we are not all mind readers.
I told my dh one thing i wanted, then others i may like.
We have our anniversary next and he already knows things i want.
It saves buying things i don't really want/need.
This sounds thoughtless though, as you already have more than one radio.
if op doesn't care about him going to a strip club does the thread need to start descending that way?
Not all women have a problem with them.
Is he generally just spending more time without you, and you being an after thought? Like the gift?

[BackforGood]

Well, I asked for a radio for my last 'big' birthday, so I don't think it's a poor present at all. I like to have a radio in different rooms I spend time in, so don't have to carry one about with me, so again, already having a couple wouldn't necessarily have been a bad thing.
However, in my world, if you want specific things for your birthday (or Christmas, or any other time you might be expecting a present from anyone), you let them know, in advance, what you'd like. It's not difficult. I really don't get this "I expect someone else to know what I want, but I'm not actually going to tell them I'm going to let them get it wrong then moan about them" rubbish.

[Monty27]

I don't know but it was up there in Which magazine and it was triangular (don't watch the Archers)

Apples always drop if you wait long enough.

[whatdoIget]

An apple orchard?! Is this about eastenders or the archers or something?

[Monty27]

Get him to take it back and give you the money to buy your own gift.

I'd be 'hmph'

I got a designer alarm clock/radio once that would take a programmer to set it. That's redundant. And so is the buyer of afore mentioned present

[DelphiniumBlue]

Off to a strip club? Seriously? I think the radio is the least of your problems if he really meant that.