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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why people have the TV on all day long.

204 replies

iwuddarryl · 17/02/2016 13:17

Is it constantly on in the background?
Or do you only turn it on mid afternoon/evening?
Are you selective with your viewing?

MY OH was recently made redundant and I am CRAVING piece and quiet. Before he was around 24/7, I would have it turned off most of the morning, but he switches the tv on at 6am and it STAYS on. all. day. long. Angry
It's as if he can't sit in a room without the box blaring away.

I like tv as much as the next person, but I HAVE to have a couple of hours piece and quiet in the house every day.
If I don't I feel stressed.
He says I'm unusual and being unreasonable.
Am I?

OP posts:
Original poster
iwuddarryl · 17/02/2016 17:38

peace not piece Blush

OP posts:
CornishDoll82 · 17/02/2016 17:39

Why is the radio deemed 'better' than the TV to have on?

MistressDeeCee · 17/02/2016 17:39

I do think its bad manners to have the TV on all the time

If someone wants the TV on all the time that fine in their own home/living alone but if you live with someone, then compromise. It is not just background noise, it is a visual that draws the eye too. I find it a really strange trait to need a TV on all the time and act as if its an essential/necessity. But I do think some people are afraid to give their brain a rest, or peace, and can't deal with silence and their own thoughts or don't want to make conversation anyway so in that respect TV is ok for them. It just shouldn't have to be ok for everybody else in the household.

If you can't live without someone else's voice in the background constantly its masking another issue, but that issue still shouldn't manifest in someone else being compelled to put up with the constant background noise that you need impacting upon them, too

fluffywol · 17/02/2016 17:46

My DP tells me in weird for never having the tv on. If it wasn't for him, I'd probably only turn it on for specific programmes. Actually, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have a tv, I'd just watch catch-up.

PixieChops · 17/02/2016 17:57

We have the telly on first thing in the morning whilst getting ready (and the 8 month old and the 21 month old) usually CBeebies.
Then after dropping off DH at work we then don't have the telly on all day until the evening. We put classical music on during the day. Makes the kids actually play with their toys because if I left the telly on all day they'd both just sit in front of it.

TheDowagerCuntess · 17/02/2016 18:10

YANBU.

I love silence, but if I'm pottering about the kitchen, I put music on for company!

Cathster · 17/02/2016 18:15

My DH grew up with the TV on 24/7. I grew up in a house where the TV was on for a few hours in the evening.

I used to hate the fact DH put the TV on constantly. That was when I was working and wanted to come home to some peace and quiet. Now that I'm on maternity leave I'm usually the one that turns it on and leaves it on all day! It gets wearing constantly hearing those inane musical toys all day long!

I turn it down/off if we have visitors (unless it's the in-laws!)

It's down to personal preference, those who need the quiet shouldn't be judged and vice versa, I like having the TV on for background noise, so does my DH, but we are the only ones who live here (baby isn't going to complain!) so what does it matter?

I will be turning it off more in the day as baby gets older.

hazeyjane · 17/02/2016 18:20

Because I love TV.

GarlicBake · 17/02/2016 18:24

There are some unjustifiably supercilious comments here. Preferring background noise while thinking doesn't mean you're incapable of reasoned thought and/or suffer a mind full of yammering rubbish!

People's brains work differently. People's personalities vary. Other people live in different circumstances from yours.

FWIW, my childhood was quite strictly regulated. Both radio and TV were attended at certain times, for certain programmes, then switched back off. My preference for constant 'connection' is not informed by childhood habits.

LagunaBubbles · 17/02/2016 18:27

Lighthearted or not TV snobbiness always seems to seep in on these type of threads about , on this thread alone we have:

You must have the TV on all day because you cant cope with your thoughts, you're not intelligent, its odd, dont want to talk to people, OPs confused face because its 50/50 here...there's so much judgement on here its actually funny! Is it really so difficult for some people to accept we are all different and as such like different things?

ouryve · 17/02/2016 18:33

PittedOlive - how big was this 26 year study? I would have thought that correcting for other factors than TV viewing would be an almost impossible task.

usual · 17/02/2016 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve · 17/02/2016 18:47

I think a lot of it for DS1 is the constance of the noise from the TV. He rarely has it on loud and doesn't object if it is and I turn it down. He has ASD and ADHD and, right from being a tiny baby, could not settle without some noises, either music or TV, in the room. He hates sudden noises and hates the noise of other people from next door or outside. That's all relatively damped down with the TV on. (He'd also be fine with the radio, but DS2 comes and turns that off - also autistic and cannot be reasoned with)

He's 12, and like most kids, on half term (and the weather here has been dire all week, typically, so we've not been getting out for long walks). He hasn't spent the day glued to the sofa. He's been crawling around playing with lego buses, on the PC, finding and editing pictures of buses and reading about buses and looking up news about buses. The TV went off, briefly, when something he hated came on, he's half watched various things and he's just sat still and watched Dangermouse with a big grin on his face.

MrsMook · 17/02/2016 18:48

My TV was never on in the day until I had DCs and CBeebies became a useful sanity aid. Shortly before having DS1, I wasn't able to leave the house independently and DH accidentally took the freeview remote to work thinking it was his phone. I didn't notice until he rang and mentioned it at 7pm. His colleagues were surprised that it wasn't a problem.

I like radio for background noise. The sound is easier to zone in and out of. I find TV visually disturbing in the background. My friend is a TV fan, and I find it hard to ignore the TV and not gaze mindlessly at random background programmes. (Something we're consciously watching is different).

Increasingly, I'm enjoying silence more. Living with young children it's a treat (current background noise features YouTube, In the night garden and a toy trumpet...). I grew up in a noisy, busy house. Even if there were few people in, there was background noise from the main road.

I like music/ radio on when driving, but am increasingly turning it off when DS1 chats as I can't filter his voice through radio and background noise.

Needmorewine · 17/02/2016 18:51

It gives me a headache being on during the day. I'm really trying to cut down the amount of CBeebies that is on for DD I've noticed her behaviour is so much better with less screen time. I can't stand going round to houses with her "for a play" and the TV is just on constantly. FGS turn it off so the children can actually play. DH used to be awful at having it on as in laws

Needmorewine · 17/02/2016 18:51

...just have it on constantly but growing up we were never allowed TV until the evening.

Pipbin · 17/02/2016 18:56

I have radio 4 on during the day.
We never have the tv on before 6pm.
I grew up like that. We only had a tv in the living room and that was in a different part of the house. We only went into the living room after dinner.

I think there is a difference between having the tv and the radio on.
The tv demands to you give it attention and is mainly dross. The radio, which I put on for background noise and interest, is either music or interesting stuff.

I get very pissed off when people don't turn off the tv when you visit.
We recently drove hours to visit a family member who complained that they hadn't seen us in ages. They didn't turn the tv off the whole time we were there. I could hardly hear them. I think it's rude.

Pipbin · 17/02/2016 18:58

Oh and we have another, closely related, family member who will turn the tv on in other people's houses.
When he came to visit with his wife and kids we hid the remote..........so he got his iPad out and put iplayer on!!!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 17/02/2016 19:01

Ah that's too far! I would always turn it off if I ever let anyone visit as well.

LittleBeautyBelle · 17/02/2016 19:37

I don't like the tv on all the time either. Left up to me, I wouldn't turn it on until the evening after dinner or sometimes with dinner & movie. My dh thinks it's normal to have it on all day long. I've gotten used to him turning it on but I still don't get his mindset on it. Some people enjoy having it on as background which I can understand, while my dh likes having constant movies/documentaries/Star Trek or something playing which seems a little different somehow than just background, it's annoying.

Doubleuponcoffee · 17/02/2016 19:46

The snobbishness re. TV on MN isn't real I don't think. Because, in the nicest way possible, it's coming from people who spend a fair amount of time in chat rooms, and MN isn't (sorry sorry) an intelligent one.
Watching TV is actually far more educational and intelligent. I would put Internet chat rooms on a similar level of trash to say, ITV.

I don't know how anyone can watch things like planet earth or panorama and deny the quality and importance - the vitality- of TV. Whether it's on 24/7 or not.

MrsKoala · 17/02/2016 19:48

I like the tv on all day. I grew up as an only child in a quiet house, my parents weren't home till late and the holidays were very lonely. So i got used to just having background noise.

I never have got the snobbishness about one type of media over another. I remember having an argument with someone who looked down on me because i had tv on all day and he had radio, the fact i was watching/listening to history and art docs and he was listening to radio1 made no difference apparently, radio was always better than telly. Confused

Kenworthington · 17/02/2016 19:51

If there's anyone else in the house as well we have the radio on as background noise but if Im in my own I like it in totalsilence. Lovely. I would hardly turn the telly on if it were up to me. Dh puts it on for sports and dd will really watch any old shit. Boys don't seems to be that fussed either way.

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 17/02/2016 19:51

I keep the TV on all day. I find it sort of comforting. My parents called it the 'devil in the corner' but I like to think of it as my pal in the corner. I love especially comfort TV such as Columbo or Escape to the Country.

LagunaBubbles · 17/02/2016 19:58

Pipbin your attempt to separate listening to the radio as OK because it's "interesting"as opposed to having the TV on as that's just "dross" is funny - it's just two different forms of media and entertainment at the end of the day and not everyone thinks TV is dross and radio entertaining either!