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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be saddened at this comment

44 replies

Clarathemagnificent · 15/02/2016 13:55

I took DS swimming this morning and overheard another parent say to their child 'stay away from that black kid won't you?' Their child was no older than about 2. My DS is 3 and the subject of race has never come up before.

I feel really sad that he is destined to be judged throughout his life for a circumstance of birth which he isn't even aware of yet.

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 15/02/2016 13:57

Wow I'm shocked, so sorry you've had to be around such awful people and their horrid comments

FuckyNell · 15/02/2016 13:57

They really said that? Maybe you misheard? I mean if they did then that's awful but a 2 year old wouldn't really understand that I wouldn't think?

scarednoob · 15/02/2016 13:57

What?????

That's disgusting. Really vile

AJ279 · 15/02/2016 13:58

That is disgusting!! Twat's more than happy to bring up another generation of racist morons!! Don't let it upset you- it's their loss. But it's a horrible thing do say/do

SquidgeyMidgey · 15/02/2016 13:58

Stay away because they're black or stay away because they're acting up and the colour of their skin was the first identifying feature to come to mind?

May09Bump · 15/02/2016 13:59

Horrid racist, sorry you both had experienced this!

SquidgeyMidgey · 15/02/2016 13:59

Sorry, didn't mean that to sound like it's ok either way.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 15/02/2016 13:59

What Squidgy said. You don't know if they've had a previous altercation.

SquidgeyMidgey · 15/02/2016 14:00

I can't believe people would segregate like that in this day and age. F*cling he'll fire

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 15/02/2016 14:02

Well in balance DS wanted to invite "J" for tea - I didn't know who is was and asked him to describe him -

He's the only black child in the school and DS made no reference to this at all -

They are rude people - your DS will be fine - not all people are rude!!! You were just unfortunate to bump into them

JudgeBooby · 15/02/2016 14:03

It could be a behavioural issue, and that was how they identified the child in question.

I'm mixed (black) myself, and not particularly offended without knowing how it was meant in the wider context.

stitchglitched · 15/02/2016 14:04

I rook

Oysterbabe · 15/02/2016 14:07

Stay away because they're black or stay away because they're acting up and the colour of their skin was the first identifying feature to come to mind?

If this was the situation I think it's fine. I don't think it's racist to use skin colour to identify someone, it's just a statement of fact like height or haircolour.

Riderontheswarm · 15/02/2016 14:07

That is so bad I really think you must have misheard. If you didn't I don't know what to say.

stitchglitched · 15/02/2016 14:10

Sorry for weird accidental post! I took it to mean that the woman in question was referring to your child OP? If so that is awful and sorry you had to experience that.

cariadlet · 15/02/2016 14:11

If the comment was made from racism then that is shocking.

If it's made because your child is confident and splashy in the water, and the younger child is a bit nervous, then "black" might just have been used as a neutral, descriptive term by a protective parent.

I'm hoping it was the latter.

228agreenend · 15/02/2016 14:13

If 'the black child' was playing in the pool perfectly normally, then the morher's comment was atrocious.

However, if the black kid was mucking around, and causing chaos, then I guess the comment was not racial, but more descriptive, in the same way you would say the tall kid, ginger kid, etc. I've. An identifying description. It doesn't nessarily make it right, but it's easily done.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 15/02/2016 14:14

To me it was a racist comment. Why bring up the color of a child's skin. Children do not even see differences of skin or hair color at 2 years old. Also fancy telling a child to keep away from a child. Good luck stopping her playing with all children from other nationalities. What's she going to do when her DD goes to school.

228agreenend · 15/02/2016 14:14

Did you think it was a racial comment, or descriptive?

OhYouLuckyDuck · 15/02/2016 14:15

Why did they say it? If your child was diving or jumping in and my child was not a confident swimmer who hated getting splashed I'd tell them to keep away from your child but I'd be more likely to say keep away from the boy diving in and only use something so descriptive if my child was struggling to work out who I meant.

pastmyduedate0208 · 15/02/2016 14:17

Were they saying it about your child, or another (black) child they had a problem with?

Stuff like this is usually a misunderstanding.

pastmyduedate0208 · 15/02/2016 14:19

There may have been a black child nearby who was known for pushing other children into the pool or something?

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 15/02/2016 14:21

Op is your son the "black kid" its not clear to me?

I initially thought it may be a distinguishing feature too if the child was acting up. But then again your in a swimming pool not a soft play so how would going near the black kid be possible?

sounds really odd?

I mean at soft play, you see a child being violent you may want to advise your dc stays clear, but how is this possible in a pool with parents looking after the dc?

Op if this comment was made at you and your child I would have immediately got out, and gone to reception to talk to a manager and asked for the removal of that person!

I would have kicked up a massive stink....if the manager was flakey or not knowing what to do I would have said, " look you deal with this or I will call police now" etc.

At the very least the woman would have hopefully been embarrassed and would think twice about uttering such a thing again.

If it was your dc this was aimed at . It shows her ignorance nothing else.

MrsOs · 15/02/2016 14:24

Yes i also wonder if your child might have been splashing and the other kid gets very upset at being splashed.. And that was the best way to describe your child. Otherwise i would have confronted them and asked what they meant..

goodnightdarthvader1 · 15/02/2016 14:26

The words the woman used are not racist. It's the intent behind them that may or may not be racist.

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