H who i recently separated from sent this valentines video

[Theladyloriana]

I wonder what others think of this? I think it is making permissible being deeply unkind in a relationship. Or have I got the wrong end of the stick and I'm being u?

I found that video plain weird and boring and wondered why would anyone send it to their ex and what exactly was he trying to say to you with it? I wasn't sure if he was saying he was at fault or sending it to you to say that you were at fault and that's what you did wrong. Very strange.

You are so lucky to be free of this poisonous git.

Ugh. You are well rid.

I don't exaggerate my partners powers and I'm sure he doesn't mine. What powers are they supposed to be anyway

Couldn't be bothered to watch it all the way to the end. Is he that boring in real life? Going on and on...you're well rid.

But on a serious note, I found it all a bit sinister. That he would send this to you after you've broken up. Like he just has to have the last word and show you.just how damn wrong you are. On Valentines day. Creepy.

Ignore it. Ignore him.

Jeez, no, this is not how all relationships work! ...although I think my ex-husband could have sent me this too all if he'd found it way back when.

I guess he's been thinking about where things went wrong and realised he's been a knob. And now he's trying to justify to himself why he was a knob so he doesn't have to feel too bad about about it and - OF COURSE!! - it must be because he loved you. He can't just have been, you know, a KNOB.

...you know he's just a knob, right??

FYI some relationships your partner says "I'm a grown-up and realise taking my frustrations out on those close to me is childish, mean and completely unacceptable. I'm going to chose to be kind and loving and stand side by side with my lover in the face of life's hardships". In those cases one's partner is not an exceptional human being to be placed on a pedestal, they are in fact the bare minimum you should expect, i.e. NOT A KNOB.

My H, who I've also recently separated from, sent me flowers & a card.

I didn't really appreciate them TBH, after everything that's gone before, but I would have appreciated this video less.

At least my H is not attempting to blame me for his actions (well, not to my face anyway).

Do we?

Well, I know I have been guilty of this in my own relationship. But, just to be clear, I am not endorsing the video as a whole and certainly not sending of it in these circumstances.

The best response to this rubbish is to get your divorce moving as soon as you can!

Pile o'creepy shyte.

Count yourself lucky he's an ex.

What. A. Twat.

Ooh, the more I think about this the more agitated I get! If he's coming grovelling back to you during a separation (and I'm all up for folks working it out and getting right back on track), surely he should be coming back with an apology and not an explanation - and certainly not one as patronising as this!

If he said "sorry darling, I was an absolute beast. I realise it's unacceptable regardless of why I did it and I will forever work on not behaving this way, if only you'll have me back!", well that's just lovely.

But instead he's saying "sorry darling, I was a beast, but I only did it because I love you! If only you could understand that you'd have me back, and then next time I treat you badly you'll just accept it and I won't have to feel bad because we'll all know it's because I love you".

Bleugh.

Creepy fucker.

Could he be any more patronising and vile?

Congratulations on being shot of this cunt

That's creepy and not normal behaviour in a relationship. Why did he send it? Is he trying you get back together with you? Was/Is he that creepy in RL Op?

You must want to slap him. I do.
Get a big pile of pillows/cushions.
Punch seven types of shite out of them, whilst telling them (him) exactly what you think.
For the first two minutes, you feel stupid. Then you get right into it.
Then you feel better.

What a howling wanker! Actually it's so wanky it's funny - and a further demonstration that wankers love all this self-help/therapy speak shite you can find online. The vast majority of this sort of thing is just encouraging self-obsessed, whiny fuckwits to be even more so.

Good luck with the divorce. I'd suggest just ignoring this ludicrous video.

I don't really understand it is suggesting he acts like a child?
Really, you don't get a promotion at work, so you go home and shout at your wife? And that's.ok because you love them?
That's pretty fucked isn't it?

Eh?
What a knobber he must be!

If you like I will make a video of myself saying in a creepy patronising voice "if you want a successful marriage make sure you love your partner and behave nicely towards them, and they in turn will hopefully treat you the same way' and you can send him that back....I'm going to channel mystic meg for the voice...

I too am curious to know what he googled to find this.

Oh and yes I would absolutely HAVE to reply in the medium of video.

Well, I know I have been guilty of this in my own relationship.

What sort of powers in your partner did you exaggerate in your relationship?

ConkersDontScareSpiders - LOL, great idea!

Hi doreen

I think you're being goady now. I'm not looking for an argument so I'll back out and leave you to it. Once again, I am not defending the video as a whole nor the sending of it - which I made clear in my initial post.

Have a great day.

Send him one back describing your powers...