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AIBU?

To think I wouldn't last 5 minutes on Tindr

76 replies

Revengeoftheseabass · 14/02/2016 17:45

Overweight, nerdy bloke, 40 this year and still living with my parents.

It's the perfect storm of unattractiveness, I know, but I still try on some dating sites. However, I just think Tindr would crush me once and for all..

OP posts:

Report

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 19:37

At 40yo he should have some savings and if working could at least afford a flat/house share

Still at home with mummy is never going to look attractive

And yes, he is trying to look "attractive"

gunting · 14/02/2016 19:45

I've done tinder once.

It is very much based on attractiveness and I found that made it rubbish.

I had two tinder dates and both of them lied about their appearance on the app compared to real life. One man even pretended to be almost one foot taller online than he was in real life. He thought maybe I wouldn't notice he was 5ft3 when I am 5ft8 without heels on.

I wouldn't have minded so much if he hadn't of lied. On the other end of the spectrum I know someone who has got married today after meeting on tinder and they have a son together

JohnLuther · 14/02/2016 19:48

We don't know why he lives at home AF, he could be supporting his parents for all we know.

Still anything to have a dig eh?

JohnLuther · 14/02/2016 19:48

We don't know why he lives at home AF, he could be supporting his parents for all we know.

Still anything to have a dig eh?

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2016 19:51

Oh I think using the word 'Mummy' is a bit unkind here.

My 42yr old cousin lives with his parents because they're both elderly and infirm.

He's not their official carer or anything, but it's nice for them to have him around.

timemaychangeme · 14/02/2016 19:56

Tindr sounds brutal and superficial from what I've heard. Agree with comment that it looks aimed at younger people who want to hook up with people nearby, but I could be wrong.

I'd probably try something else. Have you any interests that have forums where you can chat to other members? Are you in any groups/classes/volunteering things etc? I've met really great friends through classes over the years. I'm not looking for a relationship, but if I had been, there would have been suitable single people in some of them.

Geeky is no problem, as plenty other geeks out there. Looks less important than a winning personality. Someone who is interested in things/others, as well as interesting, funny, kind etc, are very attractive traits.

WavingNotDrowning · 14/02/2016 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoTeQuiero · 14/02/2016 20:00

When I was OLD dating briefly I did like Tinder - for the specific fact that not just anyone can message you. You have to both agree you like each other. Whereas with other sites absolutely anyone can contact you.

I met a couple of lovely guys on there. You will need to sort the wheat from the chaff but give it a go!

UmbongoUnchained · 14/02/2016 20:13

I'm chatting to a few guys on tinder I love it!
I can see why some people hate it though, it really hurts the ego if you don't get many matches.
Then you get the ones who do match but then never message.
I'm talking to an absolutely God like guy who I thought never in a million years would he swipe me! LET ALONE MESSAGE ME!
ego intensifies

Julietee · 14/02/2016 20:17

You'd be my type, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.
Give it a go. If it doesn't work, keep trying other sites. There'll be someone who wants what you're selling!

HannahHobbins · 14/02/2016 20:26

Good luck op, join Match and see what happens or see if there is a specific site for one of your interests. I am excited to see how it turns out for you now!

RB68 · 14/02/2016 20:35

Another one here from Match dot com - married 10 yrs and together 16 scares me Match has been around that long if I am honest. Hubbie was def geeky and chubby and had had a shit time losing a flat (repo) and other things so was living at home as well at the time

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 21:34

it's ruthless out there

if op took offence to the term "living with mummy" I would suggest he isn't cut out for online dating

funnily enough, he hasn't been back to comment on it so we shall see if he is offended by the "digs" or not

Trying to start an argument out of fuck-all is quite offensive though, John

Kreacherelf · 14/02/2016 21:37

Why not try an evening class or group hobby? It's a great way to meet new people, which usually leads to more natural relationships.

poppiesanddaisies · 14/02/2016 21:41

I won't even do any form of online dating due to lack of confidence so I sympathise OP!

NameChanger22 · 14/02/2016 21:44

I've never even looked at Tindr (so I'm only guessing) but if you're brave enough for Mumsnet, you're brave enough for anything.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 21:44

ain't that the truth

ihatethecold · 14/02/2016 21:49

AF, you're just being rude now.

MidniteScribbler · 14/02/2016 21:51

A lot of it is about what you're looking for. I'm 38 and a single parent, and so everytime I've had the urge to browse a dating site, I usually find that the 40 something men always want the 20 something pretty young things. It rules me out of online dating really, as I seem to be a in black hole when it comes to what men want.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 22:07

I am being rude to John, yes

AtSea1979 · 14/02/2016 22:15

Who's John?

LineyReborn · 14/02/2016 22:28

JohnLuther pp presumably.

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LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 14/02/2016 22:56

I wouldn't be brave enough for OLD if I was single. I second the suggestions to try and meet someone in rl through a hobby. Tindr sounds shallow. Don't worry about the living at home thing. The right person will see past it and maybe lives at home with parents too!

Revengeoftheseabass · 14/02/2016 23:01

No, the digs (such as they are!) don't bother me - I've heard far worse.

I'm not going to beat about the bush regarding why I live it home - it suits me. As much as I find it frustrating from time to time, I've enjoyed a better standard of living than I would have done had I had my own place. I can well understand people seeing that as a selfish position, and one which hasn't encouraged me to stand on my own two feet, but I'm not going to scrabble around trying find any justifications for it!!

I've done various evening classes over the years, and have made some good friends of both sexes, although none of these have ever grown into relationships.

OP posts:

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 14/02/2016 23:05

I've enjoyed a better standard of living than I would have done had I had my own place.

Hmmm, I would worry you wouldn't want to leave or be ready for a relationship. Most people would be better off at home with mum and dad!

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