Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was DH BU telling this child off?

47 replies

PiperChapstick · 13/02/2016 11:55

Went to a restaurant with asoft play in it last night, and DD (2.5) was playing in one of those cosy coupe cars. A boy (about 6) ran past a few times and shook it hard or kicked it. We didn't say anything as it didn't seem to bother her and we don't want to micro-manage her play time. But then he went past as she was climbing out and he purposely pushed the car right over so that it fell on top of her and she hit the nearby wall. At that point DH snapped "Oi leave her alone" at him (he heard as he looked over, but then ran away). DD was in tears and had a lump on her head from where she hit the wall. The couple next to use (not his parents, they were in the main restaurant not watching him) told DH off saying he shouldn't tell someone else's child off. Maybe I'm being PFB but I think it's important for kids to see their parents sticking up for them, and it wasn't an accident so a telling off was due! Was DH BU?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 13/02/2016 11:57

Nope he was not unreasonable and I would have done the same

PhilPhilConnors · 13/02/2016 11:57

He did the right thing.

Guitargirl · 13/02/2016 11:57

No he wasn't, I would have done the same. Actually I probably would have said something earlier.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 13/02/2016 11:57

Not unreasonable at all.

Roobix04 · 13/02/2016 11:58

I probably wouldn't have told him off but I'm a bit of a chicken. I don't think your dp was unreasonable. It's not like he pushed the kid or verbally abused him or anything.

hesterton · 13/02/2016 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 13/02/2016 11:59

No - definitely NU. He was very restrained, if anything. At 6 they know absolutely what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't.

Shemozzle · 13/02/2016 11:59

He was definitely not unreasonable. I have done the same in lots of similar situations. Unfortunately the trend these days is never ever utter any disapproval towards any badly behaved unattended children.

JustAnotherYellowBelly · 13/02/2016 12:00

Was what your DH said really a telling off though?
I'd have said something similar but would have actually told off for the maliciousness of pushing the car over

exLtEveDallas · 13/02/2016 12:00

No, not unreasonable. I did similar when I saw an older boy purposely hit DD a couple of times - shouted "Oi, Stop that! I am watching you" and he ran off crying (his parent came back with him all angry, but when I explained she apologised and told the boy off herself)

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2016 12:01

The couple on the next table told your DH off? Really?

YANBU. Your DH didn't actually tell the boy off anyway, he just told him to leave your DD alone.

Robotgirl · 13/02/2016 12:02

Your husband totally did the right thing. I would have gone nuts and asked the older kid to apologise to my child
Hope your daughter is ok.

Stanky · 13/02/2016 12:03

I would have done the same. There have been times when I've been the only parent watching in the soft play areas, and I've witnessed older kids shoving babies over, and pulling their hair. I told them to stop it, and the look on their faces as they hear the word "NO" for the first time is priceless. They're shocked that someone is actually telling them off. I avoid soft play now, but that behaviour was just not on, and that kid obviously needed to be told.

Original poster
PiperChapstick · 13/02/2016 12:04

JustAnother I think it was his tone that indicated it was a bollocking - he used his scary voice, even I jumped!

The boy's dad came in to get him about an hour later, and DH said that he'd pushed DD, to which the dad shrugged, asked his son if it was true (boy replied "no") then the dad said "oh well never mind" and walked off Hmm

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/02/2016 12:04

Your husband did the right thing.

Grilledaubergines · 13/02/2016 12:05

He was not being unreasonable. I'd have said more, and loudly.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2016 12:05

I'm more interested to know what you both said to the couple who told him off?

Original poster
PiperChapstick · 13/02/2016 12:05

Worra this is why I did an AIBU, as I was a bit Confused and thought maybe we had broken some unspoken parenting code.

I felt like asking them if they were one of the more liberal MNers

OP posts:
Original poster
PiperChapstick · 13/02/2016 12:06

I said nothing to couple I'm a wuss but DH told them to mind their own business

OP posts:
SouthWestmom · 13/02/2016 12:08

Not unreasonable at all however the consequences are unpredictable. So many parents now think no one else gets a say in raising their kids that you run the risk of a gang of furious family members effing and blinding at you.

I told some kid off for running in front of my car repeatedly (I was driving it) , pelvic thrusting at the car (middle of the road, I was driving it) and then hurling a football at the roof as I parked. Cue irate mother arriving from where he'd run home to swear and rant at me. Nice example.

Sunnybitch · 13/02/2016 12:08

He was not U at all and was quite well restrained comparing to how my dp would of reacted

soapboxqueen · 13/02/2016 12:15

Not unreasonable at all. I tell other people's kids off all the time. I've never had anyone say anything to me about it.

The other couple were interferring for no good reason.

However, bare in mind that male voices tend to travel further, are more noticeable and sound more threatening than female voices. It's unfair but there it is. I always feel sorry for the dad's telling someone off in soft play, more often than not it stops the whole place in their tracks, just for a moment.

IguanaTail · 13/02/2016 12:18

Totally fine. As if it would be OK to just ignore it all?! Those people are bonkers.

zzzzz · 13/02/2016 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IoraRua · 13/02/2016 12:23

Definitely was nbu. I wish more people did that, tbh.