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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate Valentine's Day

73 replies

Flashbangandgone · 12/02/2016 23:41

i hate the expectation that you should get all romantic simply because it's the 14th February.....not because you feel like, or not because you feel it's the time to express how you feel about someone, but no, because 'society' expects you to behave in that way on that date - surely this is the antithesis of true romance! I certainly don't 'celebrate' it with my DP.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/02/2016 23:44

Me and DH don't celebrate it either but I can't hate it because I have such fond memories of loving it as a teenager Grin

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2016 23:46

But yes I agree.

It would be a pretty hollow gesture if me and my DH did something romantic just because the greetings cards and florists tells us to.

It's actually the last day on earth we would ever consider eating out in crowded restaurants or buying over priced flowers and tat.

wasonthelist · 12/02/2016 23:47

Yanbu no-one thinks of us unloved and unnoticed singletons

bolleauxnouveau · 13/02/2016 00:06

I hate the cynical marketing of valentines day, so you can ignore someone for the rest of the year but make a grand gesture on one day and it's all ok.

I thought the valentine card I saw that said 'I like you' was a bit tragic.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 13/02/2016 00:08

YANBU but I personally see it as a little reminder in the calendar to show my dh how much I appreciate him. In my current baby dominated, sleep deprived state, it's helpful to be reminded.

Katedotness1963 · 13/02/2016 01:11

It's not unreasonable to hate Valentine's Day. It is unreasonable to suck the fun out of the day for people who do enjoy it. Live and let live. (I'm not saying the op does that, I'm talking in general)

Tangfastics · 13/02/2016 01:14

It honestly passes me by.

Ignore it op.

Katenka · 13/02/2016 06:10

I don't celebrate it, but I don't hate it.

It's just another day. We have celebrated it once, when we first got together. That was it. I feel it's pointless.

But I can't get upset about what other people choose to do.

echt · 13/02/2016 06:36

i hate the expectation that you should get all romantic simply because it's the 14th February.....not because you feel like, or not because you feel it's the time to express how you feel about someone, but no, because 'society' expects you to behave in that way on that date - surely this is the antithesis of true romance! I certainly don't 'celebrate' it with my DP.

So don't do it.

Not getting your problem.

Hmm
EssentialHummus · 13/02/2016 06:40

I hated it when I was single. It made me feel a failure.

Now that I'm in a relationship it passes us both by (and like a PP I'd rather saw my arm off than eat out on VDay).

Perfectlypurple · 13/02/2016 06:42

I don't hate it but we don't celebrate it. My dh buys me flowers regularly and I get him little gifts when I feel like it.

popcornpaws · 13/02/2016 09:36

Its bollocks, the crap on sale where i work is cringeworthy, and the amount of men (never woman) buying it always say things like, i need to buy this or my life won't be worth living!
Really? a teddy holding a heart will make someone happy?

Mumberjack · 13/02/2016 09:40

I don't do all the soft toy bollocks but always give a valentines card and have something nice to eat. It's more using valentines as an excuse to do something nice rather than following it.

Flashbangandgone · 13/02/2016 10:14

So don't do it. Not getting your problem.

When I say 'hate', that's a bit strong and I'm not about to march on parliament demanding it's abolition.

I don't like it because It's the 'society' is putting pressure on people to express emotions in a particular way on a particular day... It's so contrived!

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 13/02/2016 10:27

For dp and me we see it as just another reason to do something nice, we do nice things for each other, have romantic meals, go places any time but valitines is just another reason.

When I was single it was the same... It'd be another reason for my single friends and I to get together and have a giggle and a laugh.

If you don't celebrate it but I find it werid er to not celebrate just to make a point of not liking valitines day. Each to their own.

RuggerHug · 13/02/2016 10:42

I never understood the need for it and always thought it a bit cringe. Years ago I was called the most awful, cruel person because I broke up with someone on VdayHmm It had been coming awhile anyway but his asking me for money so he could buy me a card(after I paid his rent) that decided the timing of it.
I didn't like it before then so that isn't the reason in case anyone asksWink

But this year my sister and our mate are coming around to mine to celebrate the true meaning this year. The 25th anniversary of the release of the silence of the lambs. Hannibal Lector marathon with the girls over phoney romance any day!Grin

wonderingsoul · 13/02/2016 10:46

Ruggerhug --- has it really been 25 years? Shock I so love the hanniable set.SOTL being one of my favourites.

Sounds like a fantastic time.

I may have to get dp to re watch them all with me to now.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 13/02/2016 10:48

Doesn't bother me, but then again growing up in Wales we tended to give more time to St Dwynwen's day (has more much meaning). I've told my partner not to expect anything, if giving birth to his 8 pound child doesn't prove I love him, I don't know what does Grin. I'd rather he saved his money for my first Mother's day (again, not one I want much fuss over, but 'first ones' of these things are special occasions).

TooMuchOfEverything · 13/02/2016 10:49

Well I love any excuse for a celebration- especially in winter - and it doesn't mean you have to buy cheap tat.

Since the clocks changed I reckon we've celebrated Diwali, Christmas, new year, Three Kings, burns night, Lunar New Year, shrove Tuesday, Parents Evening Night - there is always an excuse to stick a candle in a cake if you try hard enough!!

IfNotNowThenWhenever · 13/02/2016 10:55

Oh, but it's "Valentines Weekend" now all of a sudden. I keep hearing that.On the radio Graham Norton just said "how's your Valentines Weekend going"?Hmm
All by by myy seeeeeelllffff...etc
Silence of the Lambs Day. Weekend. Much, much better, thank you.

RuggerHug · 13/02/2016 11:09

Wonderingsoul I was shocked it was that long too but yup 25. Just remembered, must pick up some nice chianti later for it....WineGrin

misshornblowerwouldbuyit · 13/02/2016 11:10

Just ignore 'society' then, works for me Smile

I live on a road by the town centre & can see people pass my window, I know the amount of guys I see carrying card factory bags is going to be substantial today.
I find it amusing but not in a cruel way, if valentines day is your bag then go for it.

kaitlinktm · 13/02/2016 11:17

It always makes me feel a bit sad, not having had a partner for nearly 13 years, and I am relieved when it's over.

Flashbangandgone · 13/02/2016 11:21

Celebrating Parents Evening Night?!?Confused. That's a new one.

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 13/02/2016 11:22

Yanbu. It's nothing more than a Hallmark Holiday.