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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate Valentine's Day

73 replies

Flashbangandgone · 12/02/2016 23:41

i hate the expectation that you should get all romantic simply because it's the 14th February.....not because you feel like, or not because you feel it's the time to express how you feel about someone, but no, because 'society' expects you to behave in that way on that date - surely this is the antithesis of true romance! I certainly don't 'celebrate' it with my DP.

OP posts:
TooMuchOfEverything · 13/02/2016 11:25

Yep Grin Both DC had great feedback from teachers so rather than the current tradition of post 'omg so proud of my kidz' on Facebook, I stuck a candle in a cake (£2.49, would've been having it anyway for pudding), DH switched the lights off and we sang 'happy parents evening to you' Cake

I just think, why not?! Life's hard enough, enjoy the bits you can!

wonderingsoul · 13/02/2016 11:37

Tomuch- I agree... find /make your own happiness. It really is the little things in life.

EssentialHummus · 13/02/2016 11:49

TooMuch - may I interest you in Channukah? Eight days of presents and doughnuts, early- to mid-December. Grin

Tableandchairs1234 · 13/02/2016 11:52

I only like it for the meal deals that are around. It's a nice easy evening for us.

Oysterbabe · 13/02/2016 11:56

I like it. We'll just exchange cards and I'm going to cook a Caribbean feast and make pina colada. We went to Barbados on our honeymoon this year and conceived our beautiful little girl, who is now 6 weeks old. It'll be a nice little reminder of that time and an excuse for a treat after 6 weeks of sleeplessness.
No one has to take part and it's as commercial as you make it.

Xmasbaby11 · 13/02/2016 11:58

I don't really care about it now I'm married. When I was in my teens and twenties I was always single and I hates the reminder!

TooMuchOfEverything · 13/02/2016 12:01

Adds Channukah to calendar Smile

Grilledaubergines · 13/02/2016 12:03

Was a big deal when I was in my late teens. Don't acknowledge it now other than to get the dine in deal from m&s. Some of the crap on sale is so awful but every year they bring out more and more ranges of valentines bits so clearly people do enjoy it/acknowledge it.

donajimena · 13/02/2016 12:04

I'm looking forward to it because its our first one together but we agreed its a commercial exploit and we'd be less embarrassed standing naked in the middle of the city centre than eating out on V Day

alltouchedout · 13/02/2016 12:06

I hated it as a teenager. I'm neutral on it now. Some years dh and I buy each other something and some we don't. This year I got him a card as when I was buying cards for family birthdays I saw a valentine's card that made me laugh. I have no plans to get him a gift and I don't think he's got me anything.

Janeymoo50 · 13/02/2016 12:12

I hated it too when single (and hated it in the office when delivery after delivery of flowers arrived and proudly sat on desks for all to admire). I was jealous, simple as that. It made me feel different, but I couldn't hold that against anyone who received them. I now hate Mothers Day, having lost my mum. I don't begrudge anyone "celebrating" these special days however. I'm home alone this whole weekend (with wine, the cat and MN), but will exchange cards tomorrow night and am searching the cupboards to make a choc sponge with blackcurrant jam and butter cream frosting. YANBU, it can make you feel left out and inferior (if that's the right word) to everyone. I'm dreading the FAKEBOOK posts tomorrow, I might put one of me on with the cat and an empty bottle of Sav Blanc for the hell of it.

HooseRice · 13/02/2016 12:15

When DH and I first got together he booked a table somewhere nice on Valentine's Day. I called them back and cancelled. Told him we'd go another time. I'd made the mistake of eating out with an ex on 14/2 a total and utter cringefest.

My 11 year old is all angsty because some of the girls and boys in her class have received a card and she hasn't ... and it's not even v. day yet.

I hate how it makes some single people feel, and remember the feeling well.

waitingforsomething · 13/02/2016 12:52

I don't hate it. I just don't do it! Dh and I buy each other little things and express our love in lots of small ways over the whole year. Feb 14th is often not one of those days!

Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 13/02/2016 12:57

The marketing seems aimed at men... It's as though it's for women who want their partner to be more romantic, and this is the one time of the year they can, through the assistance of retailers and media, actually get them to be 'romantic' for one day (even of its painfully contrived).

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 13/02/2016 13:09

i hate the expectation that you should get all romantic simply because it's the 14th February

Is it that simple?? Stuff is there in the shops and nice for people who are into that sorta thing. But I think it's overstating it that "it's expected", I mean who is expecting it.. the great St valentine's police force in the sky?

If it's one or other of the two people in the relationship who is expecting Valentines day presents then getting disappoi ted if it doesnt happen, they need to give themselves a talking to. Get their relationship sorted out, or whatever.

DP will probably come back with some flowers and a card later on, that's fine as long as he's cooking me dinner tonight. If not he's out on his ear.. only kidding

daisychain01 · 13/02/2016 13:11

Another time of year along with .Christmas, birthdays and summer holiday season when I'm really glad I deregistered from Fakebook

oh the tedium!!

AmIthatbloodycold · 13/02/2016 13:14

Me too Kait. I hate it. It reminds me of how alone I am. Not nice

theycallmemellojello · 13/02/2016 15:04

I love valentines! Celebrating it doesn't mean you have to ignore your partner for the rest of the year, in the same way that giving your mum a card on Mothers' day doesn't mean that you don't love her the rest of the year. Of course it's cheesey but at the same time it's hard not to be charmed by a homemade card, a little poem or a little cake from your beloved. It's just a bit of fun though, if you don't like it, don't celebrate it!

Youvegottobekidding · 13/02/2016 17:32

We don't 'do'valentines day either - just don't get it, why on a particular day would you feel pressured to buy cards & gifts for your partner? The shops are decorated with hearts & the like - a big slap in the face if you're single isn't it!

Libitina · 13/02/2016 17:37

I dislike it because it's DH's birthday on the 15th. We don't go away or eat out on his birthday because it'sjust too expensive. We don't mark Valentines day, I think we did until we got married 24 years ago, not bothered since.

NewLife4Me · 13/02/2016 17:42

It has lost it's original meaning many years ago.
Now like everything else it's become big money for corporates.
I find it amusing that couples go in for it so much, when it's concept was for single people.
I tell my dh I love him every day and he does likewise, we don't need over the top gestures and needless expense.
some people love it though and fair play to them, but if you are single and you fancy somebody, it's really your time to get adventurous with the anonymous card.

roundtable · 13/02/2016 18:03

My birthday is around valentines day. My parents were taking me out for a meal but my mum was ill so just me and my dad. Surrounded by couples, romantic music and scattered rose petals. It was a bit awkward. GrinBlush

SargeantAngua · 13/02/2016 18:04

I've been in a relationship for 4 months. He's already apologised that he's had a crazy week and not managed to think about valentine's day, but he's driving over 150 miles to see me this weekend, as he does most weekends. I'm ill and can't work so I've made him a little cross stitch card, because I do a lot of cross stitch, and got him a little foodie treat that I think he might like. I'm not bothered that he's been too busy, because I know he cares about me anyway, he won't mind that I have a little treat for him, because he knows I like making things for people. 2 happy people, valentine's day acknowledged but no craziness or much expense.

thugmansion · 13/02/2016 21:39

Kait and AITBC. I feel the same. My partner's dead so it just passes me by really.

Cookingongas · 13/02/2016 21:52

Mrs gently- santes dwynwen has more meaning!?!? The story is miserable, fascinating, but not exactly a poster print for love.

Anyway- valentines, Father's Day, Mother's Day, etc are all cheesy, marketing crap. Embrace the cheese and enjoy it, or sit bitter and resentful IMO. I don't buy any superfluous shit for the occasion, but why not a bottle of rose and a meal for dh and I?

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