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AIBU?

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Original poster

My partners daughter called people with autism weird

89 replies

michealsmum1998 · 12/02/2016 17:10

As it says in the title my partners daughter aged 26 was talking about someone on TV and said he had autism he was a right weirdo.

Now I may be being touchy as my son has autism but my partner can't see that his precious daughter said or did anything wrong. Am I being unreasonable to feel hurt and angry?

OP posts:
ouryve · 13/02/2016 10:53

Well my boys are definitely weird! Ds1 would maintain that it's every one else that is weird, though.

That aside, using the word weirdo to describe someone is never anything but derogatory in intent.

BeyondBootcampsAgain · 13/02/2016 10:55

I got "everyone is a little on the spectrum" from my psych masters sister Hmm

AnotherTimeMaybe · 13/02/2016 10:58

Tbh consultant neurologists have no clue about autism unless they are training to do so. We went to a top one when ds1 was 2 and she said he probably doesn't have autism as he can move his eyes from one corner to another but she did admit she wasn't an expert on this
Year later he was diagnosed

OP disgusting comment knowing that your boy has a diagnosis. Shame on her

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 13/02/2016 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

x2boys · 13/02/2016 11:02

It's the same mis understanding that people with autism are not affectionate ,ds is he's very cuddly gives lots of kisses , always has to be near me or his dad and plonks himself on my knee frequently.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 13/02/2016 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hiddenhome2 · 13/02/2016 11:24

I don't consider autism to be a disability, but more a difference. It can result in disability in some people and autistics need different levels of help and support.

Personally, I think it's society that's disabled because it can't accept those who are different and they keep playing bloody 'music' in shops

Neurotypical people just don't realise how difficult they are to deal with for people who are autistic. It's exhausting living in a NT world.

x2boys · 13/02/2016 11:28

Autism can be a severe disability hidden some people who are autistic can lead lives such as love independently work have relationships , children etc but others won't even some who are so called high functioning.

hiddenhome2 · 13/02/2016 11:31

Yes, I know this x2boys which is why I said 'it can result in disability for some people.

I have a job and family etc., but don't class myself as disabled but perhaps a bit odd

x2boys · 13/02/2016 11:34

Sorry hidden I didn't realise you were coming from your own perspective I just see so much bollocks about autism not being a disability just a different ability when for some that's just not true Flowers

hiddenhome2 · 13/02/2016 11:37

It's okay, I totally understand that many people who have it are disabled by its effects. I just don't consider neurodiversity to be such a bad thing. It has many positives to individuals. I know life is extremely hard when caring for someone who is badly affected though.

PhilPhilConnors · 13/02/2016 11:38

It doesn't surprise me, but I think 26 is quite old enough to know better, I'd think much less of her tbh.
It's not unusual for people (usually NT) to have this opinion, and that's why autism (and other SN) acceptance has a long, long way to go.
Ds2's class were watching Newsround the other day, about the football club that has made a sensory room for autistic fans, he said a few of his friends (who don't know he has ASD) were making really nasty comments about ASD. He was very hurt.

BeyondBootcampsAgain · 13/02/2016 11:42

Hidden, i like the running on mac/running on windows anology :)

Neither is a bad thing on its own, but sometimes trying to get it to "do" something which the other copes with fine is difficult

araiba · 13/02/2016 11:55

neurotypical - what an offensive term

hiddenhome2 · 13/02/2016 11:59

Neurotypical isn't an offensive term. How else to refer to the people who make up the majority?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 13/02/2016 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

x2boys · 13/02/2016 12:04

Whys it offensive araiba?

hiddenhome2 · 13/02/2016 12:07

That is a typical NT response actually Hmm

Many people don't like people who have autism and call us weird then begrudge us a term that quite accurately describes the people who cause us so many difficulties Confused

x2boys · 13/02/2016 12:09

Many people also get offended by the term autism and asd I find on here too usually those who have no experience of autism but do like to be offended Hmm

Samcro · 13/02/2016 12:10

NT is not offensive(nor is TAB) being either of those things , like me.....means your just lucky

IsItMeOr · 13/02/2016 12:12

To be fair, my understanding is that autistic people were conscious that it would be unsettling for the majority to be labelled when they coined the phrase neurotypical (at least, I think that's what NeuroTribes told me...).

We are so hung up on "othering" via labelling, I think we would all find it so much easier if society could lose it's obsession with "othering".

PhilPhilConnors · 13/02/2016 12:16

My friend who has ASD refers to other people as muggles - is that better than NT? :o

I find NT a good concise term to encompass people who are not on the autistic spectrum, as it is not a derogatory term and used in a descriptive way, I don't understand why it is offensive?

PhilPhilConnors · 13/02/2016 12:17

Samcro - what's TAB?

Samcro · 13/02/2016 12:18

temporary able bodied

x2boys · 13/02/2016 12:20

Most professionals I know use the term neuro typical is thus another term that's going to be taken off us as some people find it offensive.