about this tip soliciting behaviour?

[Killairno]

Was out for dinner on Saturday night and paid in cash. Handed over $40, I think and the bill was $32.

Waitress asked if I wanted change which annoyed me a bit but then, when I said "yes" , she asked how much. I didn't like being put on the spot like that - was going to figure out a decent (but not 25% as it would have been if I had no change at all!) tip once I had the change.

So, am I an old fart or should she have just given me my change?!

This is why i much prefer countries where the price quoted is what you are expected to pay. How is that so difficult an idea to understand?

I left the chance once in a mid range steak house in Hamburg, in Germany. The waiter came after me to return my change, explaining that he was a professional, who expected to do a great job and didn't need any tip from me to influence his professional behaviour. Lots of coffee shops in Australia where i tried to tip, they produced a charity box, for a cause they were proud to support.

Think its horrid when people have to hustle for tips.

Even when a tip is expected, all change should always be brought back so you can then choose what to leave. And the server should not watch you while you do it.

If we are going to dance around doing this ridiculous tipping thing, we can at least do it with some grace.

Dulce but surely it wasn't the waitresses place to decide if they'd had a lovely meal?

I used to be a waitress and that behaviour is unacceptable; it's incredibly rude and not very bright of her. Having said that, I would have handed her the 40 and said that's fine before the situation arose. To the person in Edinburgh who left 5 for a 90 meal, asking for their other 5 back - wow. If you can afford to eat out, you can observe the tipping conventions that exist whether we like it or not.

Breathe - I read it that Scribble was going to leave an extra £5 on top of the £10 change. And of course the waitress should have returned the change and not assumed it was a tip. I always tip for good service but if that happened to me I would remove the tip.

I work in a profession where I get tips. I love to receive one, but if I don't get one that's fine. It's not compulsory.

I find the whole tipping culture really awkward....i tip my hairdresser and thats about it....i rarely eat at places where tipping is the norm....pub food where you pay at the bar is usually my limit.
I would rather have a few quid extra added onto everything i buy so i can see what im going to spend before i order if that makes sense.

Stealth surely if you wanted change you'd ask for it?

The server should bring back all the change straight away and let the customer decide whether they are leaving a tip.

I wouldnt be happy with this either. It makes sense if everyone knows tipping is the norm, cutting out an unnecessary action of back and to to the table. But I'd find the assumption rude, and indeed make me leave less of a tip or none at all.

We've been massively over tipping here, only found out recently from a local. No wonder the cafe owners were always so pleased to see us. I find it odd leaving only 20cents. We had been leaving a euro minimum :)

Breathe I think you have misunderstood Scribbles tip would have been £15.

Don't you decide what the tip is going to be when you check the bill and just add it to the total and thank the waitress when you give it to her? It sounds like returning the change in order then to leave some/all of it is some kind of honesty test for waitresses.

No it reflects the fact they only has £20 notes. If they'd left two tens then I agree that the assumption should be it's a tip. But if you pay for something that's £90 with five twenties then you need change!

Honesty test?! Taking cash and giving change is a basic transaction not a moral minefield

I read it as they were going to put in an extra fiver making the tip £15 but then chose to leave nothing after the assumption was made breatheandflyaway

dulcie that's crazy! Why should someone have to ask for their change?!

I've had this said to me in NYC. DH's response was 'all if it please'. The server brought back the change in dollars and doled in in in singles with pauses from time to time. We left a tip anyway.

I Vegas a server came after us to say we hadn't left enough. We'd left 15% for a drink and appetizer each. He went through all the people he had to pay ( hostess, bus boy etc).

I'd much rather have a system like here in the UK; at least minimum wage for all with a tip for great service. In the US tipping makes up salary and so unless the service was rubbish, I'd always tip.

Because you'd normally give bill + tip and not need change? Isn't taking a mix of notes/coins for bill + tip automatic if you know you are going for a meal?

In the USA waitresses are on about $5 an hour, can't afford healthcare, and rely on tips, if this is the same in Canada then an $8 isn't that bad.

The reason it's like that in the USA is because restaurant owners have powerful lobbies.

Not where I am dulce. I'd expect to pay for say an £11 bill with a 20 and decide myself how much to leave.
else I'd end up buying something on the way in that I didn't need just so I didn't need to get change from a restaurant, where giving change is a standard transaction.

If I was handing over £100 and planning to add another fiver, I'd just add the fiver when I gave the initial £100, saves going backwards and forwards. Although thinking about it we hardly ever eat out and we don't pay £100 so it isn't something we're faced with often. We do tip the delivery driver if we get Chinese though.

The US tax situation is bizarre, how do they assume what you should have earned in tips? If you get more are you supposed to declare it, but no appeals if you get less?

I spend a lot of time in the US, and doubt the idea of rolling tip into the bill would make any real difference; the culture of "if it moves, tip it" is just too ingrained

A moment with a calculator makes it clear that, even at an average of 10% over a number of tables, waitstaff do pretty well on the whole - which is absolutely fair enough as most work damned hard. Certainly pals who've done the job have few complaints

Sorry about misunderstanding the Edinburgh tip, Scribbles, oops!

No worries Breathe, realised I phrased it oddly, sorry! Too rarly in the morning. It would have been £15 we left for her if she hadn't just assumed straight off that the extra tenner was for her!

I prefer leaving the money on the table when we go so doing the tip separately, but I'm just way too MC and can't bear to discuss the tip with the server so just like to leave it on the table and leg it!