Is it wrong for my 8 year old to say she needs a pee instead of a wee?

[feellikeanalien]

AIBU. My 8 year old has had some issues about using the toilet at school and the teachers and teaching assistants have been helping her with this.

She a attends a small rural first school (69 pupils) and is in a composite Year 1/Year 2 class.

The other morning in the playground the headmistress called me aside and said that they were trying to get my DD to ask for a wee instead of a pee.

I was slightly surprised as I did not really see any problem with this and when I spoke to my DD about it she said that they had told her that it was a bit of a rude word.

Generally the school is fantastic and very supportive and I am wondering if I am being a little over sensitive about this.

Any ideas?

"Pee" is not rude, certainly not ruder than "wee". It just is not. It isn't. No way, I mean no way.

My copy of the Oxford English Dictionary is quite old (about 25 years) and says pee is "colloq" - not "vulg". It doesn't mention that meaning of "wee" at all. I'm guessing "wee" is seen as less rude because it's newer and hasn't meant urination for so long. Give it a generation and it will be seen as awful too, and there'll be a new semi-acceptable word along, "can I have a zee Miss" or something equally pointless.

I do think there may be a class element to it, not the way round you may expect. A tremendously dignified gentleman who thought he had reserved a train seat by putting his newspaper on it announced "I've been to have a pee, it's a natural function you know". (He was trying to be shocking. Didn't work.) A rather less dignified ex-colleague used to announce in ringing tones to the whole office "I need a wee-wee or I'll wet meself!"

Anyway, both of them are coy euphemisms and should only be used by very small children IMO. I am totally with the poster upthread (marniasmum?) who said the child should say where they want to go, rather than have to describe exactly what they wanted to do when they get there. Unless it needs its bum wiped for it the teacher only needs to know they've gone to the - now what is the acceptable term?

Mind you, when DS2 was small he went to the toilet to take all his clothes off, whilst DS3 went to scribble on the walls and rip up the paper, so maybe being specific is important after all...

Am getting overly narked at this thread now. Pee is not rude or vulgar in Scotland. It's the standard word used.

I'm sorry keeptrudging but I was born and bred in Scotland (not in particularly posh family or area) and in my family and school it would have been rude at age eight to say "I need a pee".

The rudeness or not rudeness of words is a matter of personal opinion/opinions in a particular social or geographical context and none of us can make sweeping statements about it. You may not think "pee " is rude but you cannot speak for the whole of Scotland.

I think that's exactly what OP said she'd explained to her daughter ("some people think it's rude") so there's not really a whole lot more to discuss.

Some silly people think it's rude perhaps. I certainly wouldn't stop a child from saying it.

Likewise I wouldn't tell my child they couldn't say 'fart' just because some uptight sorts have a strange reaction to it.

I wouldn't say it was worse. I think around that age it's probably worth encouraging them to ask "please can I go to the toilet" rather than "for a wee", but fairly unbothered about that.

However I wonder if it could actually be the other children saying things and the teacher is trying to save OP's dd from being upset. Yes, she can tell the other pupils that it's fine to say it, but if there's a couple whose parents tell them that, then they may go "Oh...that's naughty" in a genuinely shocked way if she says it.

I remember going out to dinner with my cousins and carefully breaking my bread into my soup. Because I wanted to be polite and df used to object to us dipping it in (which I preferred) and tell us to break it in. I looked up to see horror, shock and delight on my (younger) cousins' faces. Because their df said the other way round.
People do have ideas what they think is rude, and people do disagree.

A variety of people from a range of places will be offended/not offended by different words. For a school, helping a child who has issues that require additional support, to suggest that either 'pee' or 'wee' are rude is not remotely helpful.

I can't remember what I said at school, I suspect it was 'I need to goooooooo' with an anguished face.

My children use a mix of 'pee', 'wee', 'poo', 'fart' etc. My son (who has ASD) has somehow become convinced he needs to say 'excuse me' after every fart, and we're trying to teach him that saying it rapidly several times in succession just draws extra attention to what has happened, god knows how rude some people would think we are.

Just had to add this as a final(!) post.

My DD announced to me yesterday that she had done a weepee at school!

Happy days!

'weepee'

Well done your daughter, most creative. Best of both worlds!

Oooh I like weepee!

A weepee is a sad film.

HATE kids saying pee!

Why would you hate kids saying pee?

I've not read the whole thread as I'm bursting at the seams to announce that they say pee on Bing so it can't be rude or perfect Flop would've bollocking him. Tell the HM that OP

wee means small in Scotland and nothing to do with toileting

I'm in Scotland and it's common for children to use wee to ask to go to the toilet.

When I'm at home we never use "pee" but the kids do at school. It's rude to use it at home but I need to tolerate it at school.