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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher correcting me to my daughter....

94 replies

TwoLittleBlooms · 07/02/2016 16:08

I may be being unreasonable and possibly a little hyper sensitive. Firstly I do struggle sometimes with my grammar - I hold my hand up to that. (I have mild dyslexia but not sure if that is any excuse for my poor grammar and occasional issue with spellings - and when rushing I make mistakes).

I hand wrote a letter to my daughter's teacher to excuse her from P.E. as she had nail surgery just before Christmas and she is still suffering with pain in her toes from it. She is a high school student (year 8 in an academically selective school - not sure if this has any bearing on anything).

I wrote to instead of too in the letter - so wrote "avoid anything to physical" instead of "avoid anything too physical", today my daughter came down stairs saying you made a mistake in the letter and Miss So-and-So pointed it out to me.

AIBU to be a little put out that the teacher is pointing my spelling/grammar mistakes out to my daughter in this letter?

Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:

BeaufortBelle · 07/02/2016 17:38

But shazzarooney it's your job to teach correct spellings and grammar isn't it? However, the parent should have taught the child that "taking the piss out of others is wrong.

Remembers teacher who sent ds home with guage to learn. I thought he had incorrectly copied it do taught him gauge. That was the only spelling test he got 9/10. He was devastated. I had a word with the head esp as it was a teacher who revelled in a bit of humiliation.

Hoping against hope I've got the gauges the right way round because it's one Ibalways have to check but I'm not a teacher.

Movingonmymind · 07/02/2016 17:39

That is out of order, OP and nasty/thoughtless on the part of the teacher. It is inappropriate completely.

In some situations it is appropriate though, not in yours at all, but when it's the other way round and a teacher tasked with teaching literacy/spelling etc to our chidren sends home a letter with basic errors, not on! But happens too much!

nanetterose · 07/02/2016 17:41

The teacher was an ass.
When my son was in yr 11 l needed to let his tutor know something. I put it in his diary.
The twat told my son: "No wonder your writing is so bad, just look at your Mother's"

ComposHatComesBack · 07/02/2016 17:45

There's a PE teacher out there who can read?

BeaufortBelle · 07/02/2016 17:53

Compos . Obviously did reading as an option alongside humiliation training.

Czerny88 · 07/02/2016 17:55

Barely anyone seems to have paused to consider the manner in which the teacher corrected the error. It could have been done with a very light touch, or accidentally - it wasn't necessarily egregiously supercilious or dripping with hauteur.

At the risk of a flaming, rather astonished at the number of grammar solecisms in this thread...

Twinklestein · 07/02/2016 17:55

She's a teacher, she's doing what teachers do.

The more times you use or see something incorrect(ly) the more likely you are to repeat it.

LuluJakey1 · 07/02/2016 18:01

Why don't you write her a further not along the lines of,

'Dear Miss xxx
I wrote a note on Friday for xxx to give to you explaining that because of surgery on her toenail she will need to avoid anything too physical for the next two weeks.
I understand there was a grammatical error in the note which you pointed out to xxx and which she repeated to me when she came home. I think it is unfortunate that you felt the need to do that and would prefer that you do not do so should I ever make such a trivial mistake again. To be frank, I found it to be an action lacking in respect. The note was written to you, not to my daughter.

Kind regards

Twolittleblooms'

Polite, to the point and shows her you are fully aware of all the appropriate forms and useage of two/too/to

FarrowandBallAche · 07/02/2016 18:02

She shouldn't have alerted your DD of the mistake.

Quite unkind and rude.

LuluJakey1 · 07/02/2016 18:03

A note, not a not

BeaufortBelle · 07/02/2016 18:09

czerny88 but we aren't teachers. Goes to look up solecisms

3WiseWomen · 07/02/2016 18:21

I have a few teachers in my family. None of them would ever correct a parent like this. Not the less because we all do mistakes, even teachers and they would take a much more humble position along the lines 'well it happens to everyone, incl myself'.

Also this is the best way to ensure that said parent will avoid writing again to that teacher, thereby closing the communication between parents and teachers. Not really what you want to achieve....

usual · 07/02/2016 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Czerny88 · 07/02/2016 18:31

BeaufortBelle Sorry!

I know, and I realise I have an almost compulsive urge to correct (I am a teacher...) but you don't have to be an English teacher to know how to use an apostrophe, for example.

Also, if anyone should have the ability to correct without being obnoxious or causing offence, a teacher should. The comment, or the manner in which it was made, could have been rude, but wasn't necessarily - that's all I'm saying. It's all third hand.

Movingonmymind · 07/02/2016 18:35

I disagree - it's all about context. This was a polite, formal exchange of information between a teacher and an adult parent. It is no way appropriate to correct her. As her teacher in an adult literacy class, of course, as her boss/colleague in a work context, probably depending again on context. And it being done sensitively.

saoirse31 · 07/02/2016 18:38

Teacher rude, no problem correcting it automatically, but pointing out your error to your did was rude. I'd complain to her I think

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/02/2016 18:42

The only way this could be in any way acceptable behaviour is if, as another poster has suggested, the teacher thought that your DD had written the note herself and was trying to catch her out.
Anything else is rude and petty and she shouldn't have done it.

Princessdebthe1st · 07/02/2016 18:49

Dear OP,
While I accept that the acceptability or otherwise of this could depend upon the tone of the conversation between the teacher and your DD and also in how that was conveyed to you by your DD overall, I would say this is unacceptable on the part of the teacher. It could easily be perceived as rude and unprofessional. Also, as was alluded to by a PP, this could put off a less confident parent from communicating with the school. I'm a school governor and just this week we were having a conversation about how we could support parents who either don't have English as a first language or who find the educational establishment intimidating to be more involved in their children's education. This is exactly the sort of behaviour we would want to discourage. It is telling how damaging things like this can be even for those with confidence as I am now feeling anxious about making sure there are no errors in this post (please don't point them out to me!).

Topseyt · 07/02/2016 18:53

I can be rather a grammar pedant and a stickler for that sort of thing being correct, but I would still agree with the OP that it was poor form for the teacher to point out the parent's mistake to the child.

The note was still perfectly clear in what it was asking for, so there was no need for any further comment.

CoteDAzur · 07/02/2016 19:08

"I'm assuming the child is relatively young and was told to hand in a note from her mother to the teacher. In those circumstances, it would not be usual for the child to read the note first."

OP says her DD is a "high school student (year 8)". My DD is several years younger and reads everything in her notebook, especially my notes to her teachers.

CocktailQueen · 07/02/2016 19:11

How rude of her. She's not teaching you.

CoteDAzur · 07/02/2016 19:12

"she thinks it's ok to be so unkind"

What does kindness have to do with a teacher pointing out to her student an error? It wasn't the student who made that error but so what? They could also be looking at a spelling mistake in a newspaper article. Would it be unkind to whoever wrote the article if teacher pointed out that mistake to her students?

kawliga · 07/02/2016 19:15

Oh dear, I am an English teacher and automatically correct everything I see... Shoot me now!!! Sorry it's so annoying.

'Oh dear, I am an English teacher and automatically correct everything I see; shoot me now! Sorry, it's so annoying.'

The original sentence was correct. The poster who tried to correct the sentence is wrong. Sorry. Writing informally has an acceptable style of its own, so 'Oh dear, I am an English teacher' looks like a run-on sentence but it would be stupidly formal to write 'Oh dear. I am an English teacher, and I automatically correct everything I see. You should therefore shoot me now! I'm sorry that you find this so annoying' or something stilted like that.

WMittens · 07/02/2016 19:21

kawliga

The original sentence was correct.

Apart from the incorrect use of the ellipsis and following an ellipsis with a capital. The final sentence does make sense with and without the comma.

But well done for missing the point

Dollymixtureyumyum · 07/02/2016 19:26

From a fellow dyslexic I find that bloody rude.
I don't give a toss when people correct my spelling and grammar kind of makes me think - Well I have a reason for my poor spelling and grammar, have you one for being a judgemental arse?

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