To think you don't give a 6 year old detention for saying "pee"?

[Butterfliesprettybutterflies]

When I picked DS1 (year 2) from school yesterday, one of the other boys in his class told me (in a kind of na na na na na way) that DS "got into lots of trouble today". I asked DS what happened and he told me that he a) said "pee" while in the toilets ("because I didn't know we weren't allowed to say it in the toilet - I mean that's what we're doing in there"); b) said "dead" ("I'm dead meat"...... for saying wee apparently and c) he blew on his recorder when he wasn't meant to in music class. He said for these three things he was told off by his teacher, the head-teacher and the music teacher.

I didn't see any of the teachers to ask either at pick up yesterday or today or at drop off this morning but DS has just told me that he was kept in at break as punishment for his behaviour yesterday.

Now I'm quite prepared to be told that there was more to it than he's telling me - he's not a saint and can be a bit silly (he's very young for his year) but he's generally a really well-behaved child and has never been in trouble - we got a school report a couple of weeks ago and it couldn't have been better.

But AIBU to think that 1. you don't give a 6 year old detention unless its something really bad; and 2. if his behaviour was that bad we should have been told about it?

I'm going to write an email to the head asking if there was more to it than he's told me but I just wanted to know if I was being totally unreasonable in thinking detention is not justified in this situation.

so as not to drip feed, he's been at this school about 9 months and we lived abroad before so totally different school system - plus this school puts an emphasis on being "traditional"..... so it's possible I just don't know how these things work!

What's wrong with pee? Obviously the context/tone it is used in could be inappropriate, but the word itself? What do they do if a child says fart?

Madam has phrased the email very well.
If you go in and take the tack of "how dare you penalise my child" you will get their backs up and be that parent.

Fwiw I think there is more to it than he is telling you. I have certainly held kids in at break for saying stuff like that - but it has been repeated infractions where they are trying to show off and haven't listened to a warning. Of course it could just be a one off, too. It'll be interesting to see what the teacher says.

I think you've dealt with it well, any punishment at school when I was a kid was accompanied by a punishment at home, so my mum always double checked to verify the 'severity' of an offence (Detention was a rare occurrence for me!).

I teach kids now, I don't find 'pee' inappropriate. 'piss' would get a punishment, however!

I'm totally baffled as to whats wrong with pee!?

He was kept in all break time with the head and told it was a "punishment for the naughty words. We don't say those kind of words in our school"

Well done that school (and Headteacher). Without the little tell-tale who told you about DS using the 'naughty' words and blowing on his recorder out of turn, the school would have handled this incident discretely in a very calm and appropriate manner. Parents really don't need to get anxious about every level of detail in school. The majority of teachers are trustworthy and will be reinforcing YOUR values.

If your child is in trouble at school - let the staff deal with it. If something is so major that it needs parental support or intervention, the school will let you know so that you all work together.

From what you have said, nothing major happened. It was silly behaviour that needed nipping in the bud. You firing off an email and questioning the Headteacher and staff on this occasion will put you on the first rung of the 'THAT PARENT' ladder. Don't do it OP.

Deviation slightly but once a kid at school said to me"excuse me, sorry to bother you but please may I go for a piss?" He nailed it until he said piss I smiled and had a quiet chat with him later.

I'm wondering whether your ds was being sillier than he's letting on. Silliness in the toilets is a pain in the arse

My favourite ever announcement from a child where I worked was 'Mummy said Daddy was an arsehole this morning, I was going to tell her that was a swear, but when I thinked about I decided that daddy is an arsehole'

I had to go and hide in the bathroom as there were tears of laughter streaming down my face.

Great

I agree with you about the pee thing, very strange to make a fuss about that. I obviously don't know his teachers but I teach Yr 2 and can tell you emphatically that some low level silly behaviour can be incredibly annoying and disruptive. I would imagine he was being quite silly all day and then one of those things that you describe was the final straw.

I would be very reluctant to complain unless you have other concerns about the teacher or your son is mortified and the kind of child who never usually gets told off and all this seems really out of character.

Private schools often sell themselves on traditional values and strict behavioural expectations. I'm a teacher in a private school, and the children in my school are expected to fall in line with the rules. Blowing on his recorder at the wrong time (especially if the teacher was talking) is the sort of behaviour that does need to be stamped on, as the class would be chaos if everyone decided to do that.

If you want your child to receive the benefits of going to a lovely private school where the children behave well, then its only fair that your child behaves well too, as the other parents aren't paying to have your child being naughty and spoiling the music lesson.

Great brilliant!