To think it's risky to plan your financial future on inheritance you might get?

[Andthentherewasmum]

Just that really.

A family member has made an assumption in what they will get and has fed these figures into planning meetings with financial advisor. They've now found out their share is going to be smaller than thought and they are getting a bit emotional. They've started suggesting this isn't the intention of their deceased parent and their surviving parent doesn't know what's going on. This is not true at all as the will hasn't changed at all since it was originally drawn up and is fully respected by all family members. It's been know within the family for a very long time so I'm not sure why they would think it would be different now.

Its given me a taste of what is to come when my lovely relative passes and it's not pretty

Surely with an interest only mortgage you must still have to take out an endowment policy to repay the capital at the end of the mortgage term, we had to as part of the mortgage conditions. When it looked like our endowment policy wouldn't pay off the capital we just increased the endowment, we sold the house 12 years later and bought another but this time with a normal capital + interest mortgage and still kept the endowment policy going until we decided to cash it in.

Nobody should rely on inheriting anything from elderly relatives, financial security should be at a persons own expense and any inheritance should be regarded as a nice bonus not a right.

If the will is clear then the surviving parent should be excluding the pair of them from "discussions"!! There's nothing to discuss.

I don't understand why people get so greedy, can't they see what's important here?! I would much rather have my dad back in this world than bicker with my brother about money, thankfully he feels the same as me!!

YANBU. I'm working on the assumption that I won't inherit a penny, and if I do it'll be a nice bonus. I have a close friend who earns decent money, has an interest-only mortgage and spends every disposable penny on nice holidays and shiny things because he assumes that he will inherit from his DM. When asked what he will do if his DM requires years of nursing home care, he admitted that he has no Plan B.

It is extremely distasteful to be expecting to benefit from someone's death. I inherited a big chunk of money when my Grandma died, it would have been a lot more had she not spent several years festering in a nursing home at the end. Do I wish she'd died sooner? Well actually yes because it was fucking awful seeing her suffer so much at the end of her life, but I'd prefer to have given up the entire inheritance to see her have a decent quality of life for those last few years if that had been an option, unfortunately money can't buy you health and soundness of mind.

We actually borrowed some money from my MIL when we bought a house when my Grandma was in the final stages of her terminal illness so we knew we'd be paying it back very quickly. Did we count on it? Absolutely not, we drew up a budget including exactly how much we were going to pay MIL back every month until the debt was cleared. The fact that we knew we wouldn't be making many of the monthly payments (or indeed any as it turned out) was very upsetting because it meant my lovely Grandma was dying.

I've actually got a bit emotional typing this. I miss my Grandma :( Makes me very angry that anyone could be so mercenary about someone's death.

Unfortunately some people leave their parents at home alone when they are no longer safe there, simply to protect their inheritance.

Longevity runs in my family. Both grandmothers were close to the Century when they diesd, both grandfathers (including the one who smoked like a chimney) were well into their 80s. My mum was mid 20s when I was born so I could be pushing 80 before she dies.

Pseudo i understand what you mean. I think what's upsetting me is that my lovely relative (okay it's my nana ) is going to see the true colours of her child. I find that really sad

She's a feisty old bird. My husband calls her 'The Razor' because she won't say much and then when she does she cuts right to the heart of the matter !!

She doesn't want to go into a home and at the moment she's got family on the doorstep who are in every day, so for as long as possible that's the plan. However who knows what the future holds. I worry about her but she's bloody stubborn (runs in the family!).

I much rather have her than money.

frankly if someone was 'counting on' my bequest to finance their future I would leave them nothing (give it to charity)
I have helped my son and his family buy their house (a modest one) and will gladly help them out financially in an extreme case.
I will downsize in the future and free up money so I can enjoy myself before I get too old.
IMO It is patently unfair that a single person can only leave £350k before inheritance tax of 40% on anything above this where a married couple can roll over the tax free amount to the survivor (so they can, when the final estate is settled, have circa £650K to leave free of tax.)

One of the scandals around care home funding is that those with assets are often charged considerably more than those who are funded by the local authority for exactly the same care in the same home.
This is of course unjustifiable but as the elderly people cannot complain, care homes get away with it.

With regard to the interest only mortgage. My relative cashed in all their endowments. Wanted to live life NOW! Didn't tell the mortgage company, however he has lots of equity so he should be OK.

His view is that it allows him to life in a great house AND have a good lifestyle because he had the profits from the endowment to spend and also much much lower monthly payments.

It's revolting and disgraceful. Not to mention stupid.

I think the last generation will have probably inherited quite a lot due to huge property rises and nursing homes and dementia etc not being as prevalent and expensive as they are now.

I imagine there are a lot who have elderly parents now who probably assume they'll get the same. But there has been a massive change in the costs and options of care available, so there will be very many who don't get all they thought they would.

This is the consequence of the house price rise IMO. The government has increased the tax-free level of inheritance, looking like it's helping middle-income people, but actually they are getting all the money by other means; by making the ill and vulnerable pay a grand a week for care that used to be provided by the State.

Lots of people inherit nothing. This is an area where there is a real class divide between those who own homes, and those who rent.

If anybody was counting on obtaining an income due to me pegging it then I would make certain they didn't

It's not even a class divide, cleaty, but a health divide. Those who have grandparents/parents who shuffle off early who own homes are better off than people who live for years but need care.

Frankly the money being spent on mil and fil in care is a waste. They both have senile dementia and just exist. Mil in particular has no quality of life. She does not know anyone, even herself, is non-verbal and doubly incontinent. Hundreds of thousands have been spent on care. I'm not thinking about sports cars we could have bought, but that perhaps all the grandchildren could have had university fees paid or a small house deposit which to my mind would have been a better use of money than prolonging a spent life. Torch me if you like, but I know I would hate to carry on if I were mil or fil.

perhaps all the grandchildren could have had university fees paid or a small house deposit which to my mind would have been a better use of money than prolonging a spent life. - that is a pretty horrific statement. I'm sure your PILs didn't plan to end up incontinent and with dementia. I doubt it is in anyone's end of life plan. But it happened so how are you suggesting they should be cared for if their money would have been better spent, not on them, but on setting their grandchildren up for life?

I think it's pretty clear what Rhonda is suggesting, Still. And it's pretty contemptible.

If you want your children to be gifted deposits or university fees, give them it yourself out of your own money.

But I would hate to think of my money going to a nursing home if I were in such a state. And mil would be in a total rage if she could see herself. Modern medicine can prolong life now and it's not always a good thing. Both pil are on huge cocktails of drugs. Not pain-relieving drugs, but blood thinners, statins etc, and one has to ask oneself why. Mil had pneumonia, was carted off to hospital where they pumped poor mil full of antibiotics and back she came to the nursing home.

Actually I suppose this is the wrong thread, because it's not really about getting my sticky paws on an inheritance, but more about dignity.

I agree that prolonging life for the elderly and very unwell is a costly business with no useful purpose. I don't know why society forces old people to carry on living when they don't want to and have no quality of life.

Yes but why on earth you'd chose to focus on the fact that so much of their money was being spent on their care, rather than going to the much better use of giving your DC a deposit for a house, I do not know.

If your IL could spend every penny of their money a dignified death now so they don't suffer anymore, that would satisfy your humanitarian issue with it. But your children would still need to save their own deposit so you probably wouldn't want that either.

That's a really good point Aye I wonder if people would be so quick to want a swift end to the suffering if it meant they had to forfeit the entire estate

Anyway my Nana is enjoying life very much at the moment. Apart from a few spills she's great and still getting out and about despite being in her 90s.

I'm just disappointed in the attitude of the older generation. Never thought I'd be saying that

Best to assume you will get nothing. My parents always posted us all copies of their wills if there were ever a change so no one ever had a surprise and they ensured we all received the same. It's the best way to go.

(Drinks, it's the other way round. the Council will only fund below market rates and private customers are charged what the service costs plus subsidise those without means and the owners do not make much profit and the workers get the minimum wage.)

I think it's wierd that people plan their futures based on how they may benefit from someone's death.

Its distasteful and frankly stupid to assume to inherit money. Anything can happen...parents need the money for care home fees, people divorce and remarry and money goes elsewhere etc etc.