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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To absolutely, categorically NOT want to go on this honeymoon

79 replies

Greatsowhatnow · 04/02/2016 06:53

Bloody sodding zika virus Angry

The websites are contradicting themselves! In one paragraph it says that once the virus is out of your blood/system, you're fine to TTC. In the next it says for people TTC to avoid the areas affected. They're also telling people in Brazil to put off pregnancy for another two years: why, if it's not an issue after two or so weeks?!

We're due to be going on honeymoon to a very much affected area, called our travel agent who said if we swap destinations within the next 3 days, we only have to pay a small transfer fee and will be refunded any money, if our initial holiday costs more than the one we choose to swap to.

I'm a natural worrier anyway so not sure if I'm blowing this out of proportion and falling for the 'hype'. My partner absolutely doesn't want to cancel or swap, says that:

It might hit Europe anyway eventually, so we'd be cancelling for no reason.

We've paid extra to book our seats, if we choose another destination, the flights would have already been opened and we may not be sat together. For both of us it will be our first long haul flight.

If we're to believe the fact that once it's out of your system, you're all good to go: we'd be cancelling for nothing. I reckon the bloody thing will cause long term effects

It took us weeks to choose somewhere: there's a lot of places we can't go (same sex couple). So Morocco, for example would be out.

Flying in April: a lot could happen between now and then (good or bad). Planning on TTC when we get back. But if we wait until then, and cancelled, we would lose thousands a lot of money.

I know nobody can say what the right thing to do because nobody really knows if hing has mutated, or if there are long term effects because it's still pretty new. But WWYD? The two of us are in totally different mindsets, with neither wanting to budge.

OP posts:
Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 04/02/2016 08:34

To put it into perspective toxoplasmosis and rubella and chicken pox are all still fairly common in the UK and also all linked to microcephaly, and people don't generally give any of them that much thought.

Blu · 04/02/2016 08:35

What about Mauritius?
It has glorious beaches , fabulous volcanic mountains, brilliant temples, romantic sunsets, a kind, helpful, tolerant people, cosmopolitan hotels...

TooMuchOfEverything · 04/02/2016 08:48

Its the holiday of a lifetime and you are spending a lot of dosh. I'd want it to be PERFECT not 'probably fine'. So I would want to change to somewhere else.

What a fucking disgrace though that discrimination is so prevalent that you and your wife can't go anywhere you like. Angry

Congratulations on your wedding and have a lovely time wherever you end up Flowers

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/02/2016 08:57

South Africa would still be lovely then though I don't know how tolerant it would be of a same sex couple.

I do remember reading that the risk would be much reduced by the time of the Olympics due to the mozzie season being over so perhaps it is worth researching the area you are visiting.

I'm a mozzie magnet though and if I was planning to TTC I'd be going anywhere else to be honest. So many beautiful places on earth - some friends came back from Bhutan recently and their pics are utterly stunning.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 04/02/2016 09:07

to put it into perspective toxoplasmosis and rubella and chicken pox are all still fairly common in the UK and also all linked to microcephaly, and people don't generally give any of them that much thought.

Pregnant women are advised to avoid toxoplasmosis exposure by not eating unwashed veg and not handling cat litter.
Most UK women are vaccinated against rubella, this is confirmed at antenatal booking, and if not immune the woman given extra advice.
A history of childhood chicken pox is confirmed at antenatal booking, and if uncertain this is xhecked by a blood test.
The above three infections are taken seriously by the NHS. Pregnant women don't generally worry about them much as with appropriate precautions the risks are low. Zika is different, if you live in an endemic area v hard to avoid all mozzie bites, and lots unknown.

iseenodust · 04/02/2016 09:13

I would change destination. We did for our honeymoon at a fairly late stage and it really is about the two of you being happy & enjoying the time together not specific tourist sights.

Cachareltastic · 04/02/2016 09:20

I am one of those people that always get bitten by Mosquitos and use Dee (nightmare for wearing contact lenses) so I won't be travelling to South America.

Caribbean?

Cachareltastic · 04/02/2016 09:21

*Deet

singlemumbelfast · 04/02/2016 09:35

Carribean has Zika

Canaries islands don't and it's warm there

lill72 · 04/02/2016 09:41

f you don't want to go as you will worry, then it is not worth going. Easy to change. As for sitting next to each other (which I sure will not be a problem) - that is a very silly reason not to change!

dratsea · 04/02/2016 09:57

259 cases in Tonga and Spaniards getting worried.

slebmum1 · 04/02/2016 10:32

I think I would change destination. I get bitten so much wherever we go that I would be too worried to enjoy it and you're supposed to enjoy your honeymoon! It's such an unknown at this stage that I wouldn't take the risk.

Xmasbaby11 · 04/02/2016 10:38

Change destination, without a doubt. It's not worth the stress and anxiety. I can't imagine anyone going ahead with it in your situation.

icanteven · 04/02/2016 10:46

Missing the point completely here, but Morocco is fine for same sex couples. We used to live there. Marrakech has a not-insignificant (male) gay population, predominantly French.

Thatrabbittrickedme · 04/02/2016 10:48

If you are planning to TTC at any stage the future, I would take every precaution at this stage and not travel to an affected area.

So little is known, but the danger to child-bearing people is pretty evident. Based on current facts, I would not go in your position

Whether it turns up in Europe at a later stage is not relevant to your current choice you need to make based on what is happening right now.

Honeymoons should be relaxed and sex-filled not worrisome Thanks

Thatrabbittrickedme · 04/02/2016 10:49

Just to add Cape Verde and Mauritius are lovely at this time of year, but not as culturally interesting as Brazil

LittlePeasMummy1 · 04/02/2016 10:56

Here is a patient information leaflet on Zika virus in pregnancy produced by the UK teratology information service (I work there!). It was updated yesterday so contains all of the most up to date info. Feedback very welcome

www.medicinesinpregnancy.org/Medicine--pregnancy/Zika-virus/

SatsukiKusakabe · 04/02/2016 10:59

Absolutely change it.

RoboticSealpup · 04/02/2016 11:01

I would insist that you swap. When it comes to TTC and pregnancy, there are so many potential risks everywhere, it can drive you up the wall with worry if you're that way inclined. Nobody needs the added stress of an 'exotic virus', about which were have limited information. Surely your fiancée wouldn't want you to spend your honeymoon worrying about this?

juneau · 04/02/2016 11:08

They're also telling people in Brazil to put off pregnancy for another two years: why, if it's not an issue after two or so weeks?!

Because that's how long the authorities estimate it will take them to eradicate the problem!

There are so many unknowns currently (no one knows why Zika appears to be causing microcephaly in unborn babies and they only discovered this week that it can be transmitted by sex), that I would just chance your holiday. You can do so without penalty, so do it. This is supposed to be a really special event in your lives, not something that's going to overshadow your wedding with worries. As for seats on the plane - that's a silly worry. Even if you aren't initially seated together if you tell the airline staff that its your honeymoon the staff will move people to make sure you're together.

juneau · 04/02/2016 11:09

*change, not chance

DixieNormas · 04/02/2016 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly · 04/02/2016 11:19

""Missing the point completely here, but Morocco is fine for same sex couples. We used to live there. Marrakech has a not-insignificant (male) gay population, predominantly French.""

I would change destination, but I've been to Marrakech, many times, with Gay friends.

They've been to other parts of Morocco, it was known in the 60's/70's as somewhere to go, if you were gay.

Research and rethink Morocco, for the future, it's a beautiful country.

""why, if it's not an issue after two or so weeks?!""

Because once you are back in the UK, you will not be infected and if you are, the symptoms will be showing in that time scale.

Whereas the women who live in the affected places will be as risk for upto two years, because it takes time to eradicate the Mosquitoes/Virus/Treat and take on board the safe sex message.

QuintessentialShadows · 04/02/2016 11:27

Change it. The world if full of fantastic places. Find a new dream destination.

Lweji · 04/02/2016 11:31

There are many diseases transmitted by mosquitos and for which there is no vaccine yet.

For now it still depends which region of Brazil (is that your destination?) you go to. Make sure you cover yourself in DEET, use long loose fitting clothes and avoid the times when the mosquitos are out and about, as in the previous link.

Presumably you won't be TTC when in your honey moon and could postpone it for a few months just in case, so I'd just go.

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