holiday dilemma...

[sandythesquirrel]

DH has decided we 'must' go on a holiday at either Easter or Summer. We don't even have much budget for one - so he wants to do it on a shoestring budget. DH always has a travel bug so I am not surprised he is itching to go anywhere. DS travels well but has started saying he doesn't want to go anywhere - he would rather just stay at home.

Every holiday we have ever been on has been in a 5 star hotel. (usually a city or lake/mountain - we just don't like beaches). Our idea of roughing it is a 3 star hotel with no room service or pool. We have never done camping or caravan or even a self catering apartment. Holidays have always been about luxury and indulgence. This last two years money has been very tight after moving house - so there just isn't much budget.

DH has a 'bright' idea of renting a cottage somewhere in Cornwall or Scotland from airbnb and saving money by making our own meals. He is just itching to go somewhere. It is just not my idea of fun - plus I will end up doing all the planning and thinking of every food item we might need. I would rather have one night in a spa hotel! When I jokingly suggested (actually he thought it was a joke - I was being serious) that he take ds on his own and I can have a week off at home reading books - the look on his face was so pitiful I felt sorry for him when he said 'how is that a family holiday?'.

AIBU to think what is the point of going on a holiday if it involves a 7-10 hour drive and then I still have to get everyone's breakfast and/or other meals. Also, I know with money being tight, we will be limited with what we do and that will frustrate us.

I really don't know whether to go along with it or put my foot down especially as ds is so indifferent.

I prefer self catering to things like 5 star hotels where you're tied in to their meal times, only have one room and have to worry about the kids bringing sand in, or disturbing other people - or indeed being disturbed by other guests.

When we self cater, it's strictly on terms that it's a holiday for me. Breakfast with us has always been limited anyway to things like cereal and toast, so that's not a problem, and for other meals we mostly go for things like ready meals, snacky things like soup, bread and cheese or paté, or takeaway fish and chips or pasties, plus the odd meal out. If you get a cottage with a washing up machine, it's all pretty painless.

why do you 'still have to get up and get everyone's breakfast' - your son and DH can feed themselves ffs

it'll only be a nightmare if you let them take the piss

I love self-catering and would always choose it over a hotel, the cooking and catering can be nice and simple (book a supermarket delivery for arrival day), or cheap meals out (fish and chips on the seafront or similar). You have a whole house to relax in not just a bedroom, can get up late and eat breakfast in your pyjamas, do BBQs, I really do think YABVU not to want to try it.

All our holidays are self catering. I enjoy it. I don't think the household chores are anywhere near as much as at home. Meal planning is simpler as you usually spend a bit more and have more treats. Akso yoyre not rushing around getting home at 5.30 and trying to make dinner.

There's not much cleaning to do in a holiday rental, you just do the bare minimum.

Having said that I do understand why anyone would prefer a luxury hotel! But if you can't afford it, self catering is a good option.

You sound a bit precious. You have very little budget for a holiday but you only want to go somewhere if it can be 5 star luxury? For lots of people going to a self-catering cottage somewhere like Cornwall WOULD be luxury. If you don't want to travel, find somewhere closer to home. And how much cooking and planning needs to be done really - breakfast is cereal and toast, sandwiches for lunch and you take it in turns to cook dinner. Surely there is enough money to pay for a few meals out or nice ready meals? Otherwise, if you absolutely don't want to do this kind of holiday then don't go, because from the sounds of ti you will just be miserable and make everyone else so too.

Convinced yet op?

Well don't do a 7 hour drive. Look at cottages within a 2-3 hour drive, There is such a vast range of properties out there I think you might be surprised once you start looking.

As for the cooking - have a strict division of labour, eat out at local pubs, get takeaways.

I love the freedom of a holiday cottage - you eat when you like, eat what you like. My OH and I had the best break in a cottage in a rural location with a table and chairs in a secluded, totally private garden, with stunning views across the valley where we ate a leisurely breakfast every morning (prepared by both of us!).

I think you should give a try - you may love it. If you don't, at least you will know for next time.

Arf at a cottage in Scotland.

It's quite vast op.

Yes, your OH can take his turn on breakfasts and making sandwiches too. It's not difficult. I like self catering with extended family but we always eat out in the evening.

Book a cottage near the beach in Perranporth. There is a Co-op supermarket and lots of cafes and shops within walking distance of the beach and most of the accommodation. Send DS and DH out each morning to buy croissants or bacon butties. They can buy picnic lunches while they are there too and make sure the fridge is full of wine. Send them off to the beach while you stay home and read. Meet up for ice cream. Take a walk along the cliffs. In the evening have a meal out, a take away or bung a pizza in the oven. Then walk along the deserted beach with a kite as the sun sets. There are plenty of places to venture further afield, but I think you could happily spend a week relaxing by the sea.

And to echo PP there will be lovely cottages (and probably cheaper ones) nearer to you than Cornwall and Scotland.

I wonder if you DS would rather stay at home because basically luxury hotels type holidays are a bit crap for anyone under 40 .

I reckon you should go glamping - in the countryside, go and see some nature and take the edge off. You can still have wine. And your DH can cook a pre-agreed minimum of 50% of the time.

By the way, at Easter I would head south. No guarantees, but the weather is likely to be bettering france than Scotland!

Much prefer the space and flexibility of an apartment.

How hard is it to pour cornflakes, milk, and sugar in a bowl and eat for breakfast. Or toast under a grill. Unless Ds is under 7 he can do his own.

Sandwich for lunch and evening meal out...or am I missing something.

Hmm, I do see where you are coming from as I've said the same myself. On the other hand, if you stay at home you'll still be doing all that but if you go away you can at least do some different things to what you'd do at home.

Breakfast is easy, Lunch can be picnic stuff and go for easy options if eating in, have a chip shop tea one night. When we go to the lakes we look forward to having our tea in Booths supermarket :o

If you can stretch to a place with a hot-tub then that is a nice relaxing thing for you. We take board games too and just try to do things a bit differently to what we would at home. We get our teen boys to make a lunch or simple dinner. Have a glass of wine and sit in the hot tub of an evening.

I do love a bit of luxury but a stay at home SC holiday doesn't mean drudge even on a budget.

"AIBU to think what is the point of going on a holiday if it involves a 7-10 hour drive and then I still have to get everyone's breakfast and/or other meals."
Say exactly that to him. If, on the other hand, he commits to doing all cleaning, all food shopping, all meal planning, all cooking, all clearing up - then I might call it a holiday.

YABU and a bit spoilt tbh.

We usually go self catering. Very much still a family holiday.

Why don't you try and book a flat in Edinburgh? Loads to do for all of you.

I'd say no to 7 hours in the car - been there, done that. Pick a distance that you are happy with and suggest that he look again. When he comes up with suggestions check that there is a grocery shop (bonus marks for a pub that does meals) within walking distance - this makes all the difference to the catering. When you're across the road from a Co-op there's less need to plan meals than when the closest shop is forty minutes away down a sheep track.

If this is your first self-catering holiday I'd advise starting as you mean to go on and telling the family in advance that they will be cooking/foraging for X nights. I am often a bubbling mass of resentment by Wednesday when we've gone away for a week self catering because I am waiting for someone to step up and do something and they don't. A cup of tea would be nice. I am considering a T shirt printed with "This is my holiday too" because saying it just isn't enough.

By the time you've finished with food and petrol it might not be as cheap as he is expecting.

We do self catering but go for "luxury" rentals and buy a stack of M&S ready meals or meal deals and eat out. Toast and cereal / dishwasher. Eat out a few times. I like self catering because you can relax much better in the evening - loads of space.

I love your OP as if staying self catering was some weird fringe thing that normal folk wouldn't do.

You can hire very luxurious cottages these days you know, at a fraction of the cost of a hotel.

When we s/c I do a Tesco online shop to be delivered when we arrive, mostly easy meals - BBQ always good as DH does that. We eat quite a few meals out, or if that's not possible we get takeaways. It's really not that hard except when we stay with SIL and her non contributing adult children.

I'd be upset if I couldn't go on holiday and I feel for your DH, it's not like he's asking you to go camping or fourth hostelling.

Most of our holidays involve cottages. I do still find it relaxing, because there's only day to day cleaning up to do and no rushing around or awkward chores. I also find children adore UK holidays.

I know what you mean though. My last 5 star holiday was in 1999 and I think back to it wistfully!

With regard to wanting less than 5*** to be growing up, I'd have thought it was actually the opposite. You rough it when you're a student/young and gradually get more luxury as you get older and hopefully better off.

If he wants to go to Scotland have a look at Scotland's finest B&Bs - all 4 and 5* but much cheaper than hotels. Also Bed and Breakfast Nationwide. We get all our B&Bs from those two websites. Maybe you can stay in a B&B for 3/4 nights rather than an expensive cottage for 7. Cottages aren't cheap - especially in Cornwall.

I'm with all the other self caterers here. It isn't all or nothing you know. Like many other posters breakfast isn't a big deal for us - toast, porridge, croissants, cereal etc. I don't really like cooked breakfasts anyway. Lunch is either a sandwich or out and evening meal is something simple like pasta and salad or just a selection of deli stuff if eating in, but we usually eat out.

You don't need to martyr yourself on holiday to eat well. You don't need to wash up if there is a dishwasher, and you don't need to hoover and dust after yourself, unless you are really messy. The biggest plus for us is space and being able to make a cup of tea whenever we want one. A two bedroom apartment with en suite bathrooms, plus living space is far better than one hotel room.

There are some extremely high quality self catering places if you look carefully.

Well, I'm not going to tell you that you'll like a holiday if you know you won't OP but we do a lot of self-catering holidays - in cottages in the UK and villas with pools abroad - and they're great. We sometimes do hotels - but there's 5 of us, so it's more difficult. Hotels are nice and luxurious, but there's a certain freedom that a SC cottage gives you, which is also nice.

There is no reason at all why all the domestic stuff should be left to you. Pack, or better still get DH to pack, a few things for breakfast, stuff for soup/sandwiches/picnic for lunch, or eat out and eat out in the evenings. Make sure your DH pulls his weight. And go on holiday with the poor man

Why do you have to do all the cooking and food prep? Seriously. Are there going to be terrible consequences if you don't, or have you just always done it so it's assumed you always will?

Say to him which days do you want to cook, and which days shall I do? If you're away for seven nights, he does the cooking three days, you do the cooking three days, and you eat out one day. As far as breakfast goes - fruit, juice, and cereal is low effort. Everyone helps themselves. It doesn't have to be hard. Don't martyr yourself, and don't baby him. Six foot male babies who can't do anything for themselves are not sexy. (Unless you're actively into that kind of thing...)

Bonus - if he hates cooking, he'll think twice before booking self-catering the next time.