holiday dilemma...

[sandythesquirrel]

DH has decided we 'must' go on a holiday at either Easter or Summer. We don't even have much budget for one - so he wants to do it on a shoestring budget. DH always has a travel bug so I am not surprised he is itching to go anywhere. DS travels well but has started saying he doesn't want to go anywhere - he would rather just stay at home.

Every holiday we have ever been on has been in a 5 star hotel. (usually a city or lake/mountain - we just don't like beaches). Our idea of roughing it is a 3 star hotel with no room service or pool. We have never done camping or caravan or even a self catering apartment. Holidays have always been about luxury and indulgence. This last two years money has been very tight after moving house - so there just isn't much budget.

DH has a 'bright' idea of renting a cottage somewhere in Cornwall or Scotland from airbnb and saving money by making our own meals. He is just itching to go somewhere. It is just not my idea of fun - plus I will end up doing all the planning and thinking of every food item we might need. I would rather have one night in a spa hotel! When I jokingly suggested (actually he thought it was a joke - I was being serious) that he take ds on his own and I can have a week off at home reading books - the look on his face was so pitiful I felt sorry for him when he said 'how is that a family holiday?'.

AIBU to think what is the point of going on a holiday if it involves a 7-10 hour drive and then I still have to get everyone's breakfast and/or other meals. Also, I know with money being tight, we will be limited with what we do and that will frustrate us.

I really don't know whether to go along with it or put my foot down especially as ds is so indifferent.

[MaidOfStars]

I'm completely on side with the five star luxury, but I don't exclude other types of accommodation.

AirBnb is excellent, not because you can stay in luxury (although such places are available) but because you stay somewhere unique.

Staying in a treehouse or a gypsy caravan or a converted train carriage isn't going to be five star, but it's going to be utterly unforgettable!

[Bunbaker]

"If OP doesn't like self catering, then a load of people piling on here to say they do isn't going to change her mind."

The point we are trying (unsuccessfully) to make is that self catering isn't drudgery because most of us don't actually do much cooking on holiday.

[leelu66]

So he is definitely expecting you to do all the planning, cooking, preparation?

HIBU. I love renting cottages but would expect everyone to pitch in and help with cooking, shopping, prep.

I think you could have fun, if you have a plan in place.

i.e. he should do the breakfasts as you are on hols, and you take cooking in turns each night, with a takeaway/meal out one night as a treat.

[venusinscorpio]

She is allowed to prefer a different kind of holiday and to not want to go self catering though. I do see Felicia's point there.

Also agree that she probably knows her husband well enough to know full well she'll end up doing everything, as a PP said.

[Lightbulbon]

Loading and unloading a disease er is still work!

For me a holiday is about not lifting a finger and all our time being quality family time.

I dont have a problem room sharing with dcs. We'll have them out late in the evenings anyway on holiday- the room is only to sleep in.

[sandythesquirrel]

I DECIDED TO GIVE IT A GO.

I think I was being a bit unreasonable (but only a bit though!)

The bit I love the most about staying in a 'fancy' hotel is the breakfast and having room service in pjs (silly I know) - so I guess I was being a bit precious about it all.

I talked to a friend and she echoed what many of you have said and that it is good to try something different and that I might even like it.

Our budget for the whole trip is only about £700 for the three of us - all in including petrol, food, accommodation and sightseeing. It is tiny but we haven't had a break for two years other than last year when DH took us on his business trip to Manchester at half term for two nights (Manchester turned out to be a fantastic place for a break imo).

I talked to DH and we decided to just go for five days somewhere a bit nearer but no less beautiful- probably Yorkshire or Lake district or Wales. I did drop a clue that I would love to see where the Bronte sister live. But I made it clear I am not doing any of the thinking or planning for the meals - he said he would take care of it all. I am not expecting much from this promise, but I appreciate his effort.

The idea of ready meals is really good - it never crossed my mind. The online grocery delivery - brilliant idea. I shall be reading through for more tips for this kind of holidays

Thank you for some of your excellent ideas and support and to almost all of you for not being mean!!!

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

Oh, that's great news, I hope you have an amazing time

[sandythesquirrel]

I DECIDED TO GIVE IT A GO.

I think I was being a bit unreasonable (but only a bit though!)

The bit I love the most about staying in a 'fancy' hotel is the breakfast and having room service in pjs (silly I know) - so I guess I was being a bit precious about it all.

I talked to a friend and she echoed what many of you have said and that it is good to try something different and that I might even like it.

Our budget for the whole trip is only about £700 for the three of us - all in including petrol, food, accommodation and sightseeing. It is tiny but we haven't had a break for two years other than last year when DH took us on his business trip to Manchester at half term for two nights (Manchester turned out to be a fantastic place for a break imo).

I talked to DH and we decided to just go for five days somewhere a bit nearer but no less beautiful- probably Yorkshire or Lake district or Wales. I did drop a clue that I would love to see where the Bronte sister live. But I made it clear I am not doing any of the thinking or planning for the meals - he said he would take care of it all. I am not expecting much from this promise, but I appreciate his effort.

The idea of ready meals is really good - it never crossed my mind. The online grocery delivery - brilliant idea. I shall be reading through for more tips for this kind of holidays

Thank you for some of your excellent ideas and support and to almost all of you for not being mean!!!

[sandythesquirrel]

sorry browser crashed - didn't realise it went on there first time!

[venusinscorpio]

That's great, hope you have a lovely holiday.

[blobbityblob]

We stayed in a lovely cottage with these people in the Lake District

www.wheelwrights.com

I'm not connected to them in any way. We stayed at Chapel Style and there's a level walk to an amazing cake cafe at Elterwater. I think it was this one

www.chestersbytheriver.co.uk/cafe/

[UnderTheGreenwoodTree]

Yay! You might even enjoy it

I'm v. excited about our half term self catering cottage oop North- can't wait. Will be doing the online delivery thing too.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

sounds fab. definitely doable in budget I think especially if you don't go so far so petrol is less. Will you be able to take bikes maybe? If you have money off vouchers for things like Dominos for a pizza night then check what is in the area and also surf Groupon etc for vouchers for stuff such as segways etc. We've introduced ours to a lot of card games that we just never get round to doing at home. If we eat in we do simple meals like pasta or one pot stuff eaten with fresh local bread. Portable barbeque is a good idea - yes, there is a bit ore clearing up, but also a lot of opportunity for having a laugh about it and making memories as a family too.

I found the "lets all chip in quickly and get cleared up so we can play cards/play a game/watch a movie" technique works well.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

We also take a wee box with some basics with us (salt/pepper/wine/crisps/nuts/sweets/wine/corkscrew/ketchup/cereal/beer and wine...)

[Kr1stina]

I think it's a good plan . Get your DH to draw up a list of suitable places, but you will need to book fast, especially if you are going in the school holidays.

Make sure DH does the online food order too , usually you can book slots 3 weeks in advance . Check they actually deliver to the place you have booked, some won't if they have the address marked as commercial .

Your budget is tight, I reckon you will be about £500 on accommodation, unless you can go off peak . So you need to take packed lunches and snacks rather than eat out every day .

Get Dh to draw up a rota for chores and you are sorted. If his default position is that everything is your job, he will feel that he has done an equal share if he does 20% , so you need it written down .

BTW there is nowhere in mainland UK that is 7 hours from both Scotland and Cornwall. Where on earth do you live ?

[Kr1stina]

Forgot to say,most places won't let you book 5 days in peak ,as they can't let it out for the other two . Some will do 3 or 4 days off peak, but they will be fixed days for changeover .

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Depends on what/where you are booking Kr1stina. I took it the OP meant a Monday to Friday 4 nighter/5 days. but you are right that some of the airbnb type places only want to do a full week with a Saturday change over day. Last time we did this type of holiday in the summer rather than Easter/October we did Monday to Monday at Center Parcs and then Monday to Friday at Forest Lodges. The Saturday change over was a bit awkward when trying to do a 2 centre thing.

[theycallmemellojello]

It's a bit grim to say that you'll only go on holiday to a three to five star hotel, anything less than that and you'd rather stay at home. I'd be extremely upset if my DH took that attitude. If your DH wants to go away and you can afford it, I think it's pretty horrible not to go just because it's not a spa in Bali or something. On the other hand, of course if you go self-catering you must share the catering equally.

[BarbaraofSeville]

I'm sure it will be brilliant - if I didn't live here, I would definitely go on holiday to Yorkshire - have a look at Welcome to Yorkshire for more ideas.

Haworth is lovely - lots to see and do there and lovely countryside to walk in too - if you are feeling energetic, you can walk from Haworth up to Top Withings, inspiration for Wuthering Heights.

Lots to do in Leeds, Bradford and York including free national museums like the National Mining Museum, Royal Armouries, Railway museum. Also the Yorkshire Sculpture Park is nearby too - YSP and the mining museum are close to each other so would make a good day out.

Coast is not too far away as well.

[venusinscorpio]

Perhaps she was thinking of specific places in Scotland and Cornwall? I think Penzance would likely be about 7 hours drive from some places, and the highlands of Scotland. And you wouldn't do those drives without at least one break, so factoring that in makes it a shorter distance.

[BarbaraofSeville]

BTW there is nowhere in mainland UK that is 7 hours from both Scotland and Cornwall. Where on earth do you live

Many places in kent, East Anglia etc are, eg Ipswich to Peebles, 6 hours 48 minutes according to Google maps, and that's only just into Scotland, with no breaks.

Ipswich to Penzance, a similar time, again with no breaks or traffic.

Both will be well over 7 hours realistic driving time.

[sandythesquirrel]

We live just outside London. For some reason DH wanted to originally go to St. Ives and then in Scotland it was Loch Ness. 7ish hours to st ives and 10ish hours to Loch Ness. I honestly think he wanted to go monster spotting!!

Yorkshire does sound like the best option - not too far and lots to see.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

BTW there is nowhere in mainland UK that is 7 hours from both Scotland and Cornwall.

I'm in Scotland and I reckon I'm about 10 hours from Cornwall taking into account traffic and can be 6 hours from some places up the north west given the roads so I don't see how 7 hours in either direction isn't possible I took that OP was somewhere around Manchester/Yorkshire direction.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

That was meant to be in bold btw.

As soon as you get off the main Motorways then driving time increases massively and if you need to cross from East to west or vice versa it also adds on hours.

[OurBlanche]

Hell, I lived most of my life in places that were 7 hours from both!

Norwich isn't exactly the back of beyond, but it is not immediately on a motorway up or down country!