dp has pissed me off, come and agree with me how U he was.

[DextersMistress]

Background- Dp works full time, I'm a sahm. Morning routine is we all wake at the same time, I take dc downstairs, do their breakfast and make me and dp a cup of tea while he's still upstairs getting ready. I then get myself ready when dc are eating, then finally get them dressed.

I have stomach problems. Dp came down and I was doubled over, he told me I need to go to the doctors again. I said I need to go to the toilet. I took dc's clothes in and told them to start getting dressed then I ran up to the loo. I was about 15 minutes (due to said problems)

Came back down to both dc still in their pjs watching tv, 5 minutes before we were due to leave. Dp was standing with his coat on, waiting to say goodbye to me.

Wtf? Why didn't he just fucking tell them to get changed? Arsebiscuit.

My brother does this, I feel sorry for my SiL. When HE's in charge of getting the kids to school he does it. But when they're together he stands about, not helping. It is so infuriating and unsexy, as you've said.

It makes me think of that article last week - (entitled "she divorced me because I left my cup in the sink" or something!) The sexiest thing a man can say is "I've got this."

We're not tired of the actual childcare so much as the single-handed organizing of it all.

Do you really not know people (women included) who drift away from reality absorbed in thought?

I know a few. I have great sympathy for them, because it isn't done on purpose, it isn't learned helplessness etc (which is something quite different), and while it is irritating for those who live with them, it is just a part of their being. It helps if they have compensating qualities, of course.

Just get up early and leave the house. Let him deal with it. If he doesn't get the children to school on time and is late for work, so be it. It's his fault. Text to say you're in work early and then turn the phone off. Ask him for sex later on that night and get huffy if you think he's being resentful.

PS If men are that stupid why are they flying aeroplanes.

hully you're determined with this, aren't you? Yes, we all "drift off" occasionally, but funnily enough it seems to be the husbands / fathers of wives on MN who suffer from this terrible involuntary affliction the most. Yet it never happens to them during the football. Or sex. Funny that.

The mums don't have the luxury of standing around like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel when things need to be done, so not sure why it's "ok" for the blokes to "involuntarily" bullshit do it?

YANBU, he should have taken over and made sure they were ready as you were clearly not up for the job.
I think it will be good for him to take up more responsibility over the children every day. Not just when it's needed. So that he's used to dealing with them and thinking about them too.

How about, one day he sorts out breakfast and you make sure they're dressed, and then swap?

Do you really not know people (women included) who drift away from reality absorbed in thought?

Well, not when they're 'on duty', as it were, at home with their children.

As before, darthvader is basically saying everything I think, but better, so I'll refer you back to her comments.

It's not that I'm "determined" simply that I see all kinds of humanity and don't think all abstracted drift-offers should be lumped in with the slack-jawed loafers. Largely because it simply isn't helpful.

And on the whole it is men who tend to be single-focus. You hear so much of it here because it's true. I don't know the neurological basis, but I bet there is one.

And no, that does not mean that men get to be excused from chores. They are different issues.

PS at 'Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel'

And I think it quite common that if a certain routine is v well established (like the op's) then often one person (male or female) may need a nudge that there has been a disruption.

I think this is completely different from a slack-jawed loafer guzzling lager in front of some sport or other while the woman runs around like a blue-arsed fly. And I think it is closer to what the op suggests.

"Inventive reason for why this person can't help being a tool" = MN specialty. Expecting people to take responsibility for their own (in)actions, how absurd.

How old are the kids? I'm confused as why they need to be dressed if they're school age.

Personally, I suspect that it's less neurological and more about centuries of cultural 'training' on the perceived roles of men and women.

Oh, good, a place for this :)

Going back to your bowel issue for a moment, do you take the three movie old every day without fail or just to make your self go? Because if the latter, that's the problem, you need the movicol every day. I also don't think you will find the fybogel useful.

YANBU. He probably didn't want to set a precedent for himself. I love the word Arsebiscuit. My DH regularly is one. And sometimes a sexpest.

I also quite like douche-canoe and arse-clown but only in my head, I wouldn't actually say them out loud to anyone

For those asking if the kids need to be dressed, they just need to be reminded to get dressed, which is even worse for the male here as he failed to do the slight task of reminding the children to get dressed.

onlylovers - we ALL think they aren't idiots, until we have children.

I asked my ex to take our DD to nursery as I had an early meeting. He did but because I hadn't said to put socks and shoes on her, I got told off by the room supervisor when I collected her!

I pointed out that he had dropped her off, and she laughed and said that explained it.

This thread reminds me of my friend whose husband recently forgot he had his dd in the car and forgot he was supposed to drop her off at school.

standing around like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

Thread. Won.