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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain to the head about this?

69 replies

Givinguph0pe · 01/02/2016 09:43

Ds is 6 and in year 2. He is mildly dyspraxic and has problems with his vision. However he absolutely adores PE.
A couple of weeks ago we had a newletter saying a 'small group' of year 2 children were going to the high school to take part in a sports carousel morning. Not competitive just a range of activities.

This week ds suddenly started crying at dinner time. 18 out of 24 children had been chosen by the PE teacher to go. Ds was bitterly disappointed that he hadn't been chosen. I know they can be chosen for everything but 18 out of 24 is not a small group. In my mind you take them all or less than half. The PE teacher had come into the class and said these were the children he'd 'chosen.' Of the other five not chosen I know two are asthmatic, one is mildly autistic and one is quite overweight. Obviously the children not going had been hand picked.
I spoke to the class teacher who said she would have chosen names out of a hat which is what I'd have done in that situation. At least it would be fair that way albeit disappointing. Now ds feels like he's one of six children who the PE teacher doesn't like and that he's rubbish as PE. I'm quite cross about it.

Dh thinks we should write to the head to make sure it doesn't happen again but is it a bit special snowflake? I have spoken to the teacher already after all. Otoh I don't agree at all with how the PE teacher went about it. If it was competitive and they were older I can see he'd want the children who were best at PE but it was just a fun morning of sports activities which ds would have loved.

OP posts:

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 01/02/2016 12:55

Your poor DS. These things do stay with us. Like emmaluvseeyore I went to netball club for all of 3rd and 4th year juniors and was the only one never picked to play a match. I still feel cross!!

I'd speak to the head, at least your son will know you are on his side. When I spoke to my mum about the netball (at the time) she just said "you can't be good at everything" :(

Meeep · 01/02/2016 13:02

Yes I would write to the governors and the head.
How could a teacher get through teacher training, work in a school for, I assume, some time, do their Cpd, go on their courses, talk to other teachers about teaching, and STILL think this was OK?

What a fucking idiot.

MidniteScribbler · 01/02/2016 13:04

Wowsers. That is total bullshit. And I say that as a teacher. I'd have been standing up protesting very loudly against this event, and I support you going to the school and making your feelings known and asking how they will prevent this type of situation in the future.

skinoncustard · 01/02/2016 13:08

She said she thought they should have taken all the children - as apparently most schools had it turned out - and that the 6 that had stayed had had a wasted morning as there was no lint doing anything much with 6.
This comment from the teacher is just as bad as leaving the 6 behind.
Can a trained teacher really not think of something interesting to do with 6 children while the rest of the class are off 'enjoying themselves' . I would also add this teachers attitude to my complaint about the PE teachers discrimination .

MerryMarigold · 01/02/2016 13:14

Plot thickens a bit. Perhaps they would have needed more teachers/ assistants to attend if children with additional needs were going. Maybe the teacher didn't want to go, or there weren't the staff available, but in that case, it should have been called off.

srslylikeomg · 01/02/2016 13:14

I am usually really circumspect about complaints to school type dilemmas but in this case: wow, YANBU I would certainly be taking to the head. It's not a good message, it's not fair and it's not right the PE teach is a real piece of work.

MerryMarigold · 01/02/2016 13:14

OP is this a state school? [wondering about class size!]

ricketytickety · 01/02/2016 13:18

Complain. No way he should have been left out. All should have gone. He's been discriminated against. Complain and ask for an explanation. Dyspraxia can make children feel very 'different' and less confident. Maybe the school needs more training/info on dyspraxia.

CoraPirbright · 01/02/2016 13:21

That is just miserably unfair OP!! I am so, so sorry for your poor little boy. I would def be taking it further - they are 6 ffs, they are not trialling for Chelsea/the Olympics where I would expect a properly small group of the most outstanding sports people to be selected. I hope that PE teacher is pleased with himself - as a pp says, this kind of thing really stays with you and he has probably put at least some of those 6 right off doing anything PE wise. He needs a proper dressing down from the head and to look at himself - what a sod.

CoraPirbright · 01/02/2016 13:22

I would also be threatening to go to Ofsted with a complaint about discrimination too - that should get them to think about it more properly.

Witchend · 01/02/2016 13:22

I would suspect that the high school has said 18 per school. Which if the class is the usual 30 is fine.

Our infants used to do a music day in similar circumstances where they were told 28 could go. Wasn't too bad in our 2 form entry (but every year you had upset children) but imagine that for a single class?

LauraMipsum · 01/02/2016 13:29

What is it about PE teachers? (#notallPEteachers)

I'd be tempted to collaborate with the other five children's mothers for them all to have a "dentist" appointment that morning and take all six to some sort of really fun football morning or similar. The sort that gives out big, shiny, fuck-off medals to all participants.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 01/02/2016 13:29

I don't know about threatening them about going to Ofsted. I'd be bloody promising.

SheHasAWildHeart · 01/02/2016 13:30

Ofsted won't do anything. They signposted me somewhere else when DD's school managed to lose her one afternoon and didn't even want to discuss the matter.

SirNiallDementia · 01/02/2016 13:31

Definitely complain to the Head. I am fuming on your behalf about how discriminatory this is and I'd be complaining whether my child was chosen to go on the trip or not.

Its hurtful to the kids who are left out and sends the wrong message to those who are going on the trip ("Yay it's fine to leave people out if they have medical/additional needs" - that's not something I want my child to learn at school).

As PPs said, if the PE teacher can only take 18 kids, it needs to be names out of a hat. Although I'm very sceptical as to why PE teacher can only take 18 and not 24 kids

DS's class have been to the local high schools and uni many times for PE and the WHOLE class (30) goes including those with asthma, Downs Syndrome, diabetes, autism, dyspraxia......)

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 01/02/2016 13:34

Wild heart. That's awful. Id have gone to local press about both the school and Ofsted. That is an appauling lack of safe guarding

GoblinLittleOwl · 01/02/2016 15:11

There will be all sorts of reasons why your child has not been selected; he may not be physically able to do the sports activities or be safe doing them; they may be selecting them for further training; the activities are only suitable for 18 children; transport arrangements; number of staff available. The activity is offered by another school, therefore they dictate the arrangements. This situation arises infrequently; it happened to me, to my children and to my class.

You have made your feelings known to the school; they are not in a position to insist on pupil numbers; the only option open to them is to refuse to allow anyone to go.

Is this what you want?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 01/02/2016 15:26

Goblin
If there is a valid reason why he wasn't picked and why the school only took 18 when other schools seem to have taken full classes I am sure the Head will have no problem explaining it to the OP's satisfaction. On the other hand...

MerryMarigold · 03/02/2016 10:07

What happened, OP? Any update?

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