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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do others do re DSC and nits?

70 replies

Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 19:33

This may have been done to death - apologies if so.

Have DSD EOW - do not live close by.

I realise as a "step-parent" I am possibly an evil entity here on MN - so not sure if asking for advice or having a vent Smile

Generally have good relationship with their mum - we have fallen out in the past about nits (I have DC of my own - older now but 1 of them has Afro hair).

I accept of course nits is part of having children. My beef is that OH has picked them up from school and dropped them home, seen nits falling out of their hair, mentioned it to their mum and we have had them a few days later for the weekend and clearly nothing has been done as they are riddled. Both have long hair so will take up to two hours to properly go through them both with conditioner and nitty gritty comb.

Today they were about to leave and DSD2 had something on her forehead, I went to remove it and saw it was a nit (we hadn't thought to check this weekend I accept that was an oversight on our part) and checked them both and they both have them, loads of nits and eggs.

I said don't worry it's not your fault etc just tell mummy when you get home DSD1 then said it is DSD2 fault because mummy gives them the nit com and they are expected to go through their own hair with it Hmm and DSD2 hasn't been doing it.

I can actually well believe this but I don't really know what to do about it. It's fire fighting getting rid of them twice a month for them not to be checked the rest of the month and whenever OH mentions anything to his ex he gets a load of abuse about what a shit husband he was what a shit parent he is (they split 8 yrs ago and she is with someone else) it's so hard - I just want her to deal with it for their sakes more than anything Confused what do others do?

They were sent a while back and she sent a text telling him they had had nits and for him to "stay on top of it" they were riddled they did not just have a couple of missed eggs and thing is we usually do stay on top of it but it's hard when they don't live with us.

I don't really want them to feel like I (or OH) are obsessively checking them as soon as they walk through the door either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 20:19

They are 9 and 11 - they have their hair put up but they take it out during the day I think.

We had them for half the Xmas holidays - I wish I had thought about doung hedrin then!! We combed every day, but they have obvs gone back to school and got them again.

OP posts:
kimlo · 31/01/2016 20:22

Half the christmas holidays is only a week though, for combing to work its recomended that its done everyother day for a month. A week just isnt long enough, chances are they didnt catch them again, you just didnt get rid of them all.

redgoat · 31/01/2016 20:23

I agree with the others. Next Friday that you have them, lather in Hedrin Once then comb. Take then on Saturday to get their hair cut into a bob that's just long enough to be tied in a pony tail. Teach then to tie it back. Then comb again that night and on Sunday just before you take then back.

Take the shit storm from their mother knowing you have done the right thing. Poor kids.

redgoat · 31/01/2016 20:25

Them not then. Sorry, swiping on my phone.

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 20:29

They won't get treated tonight so will go to school riddled tomoz. OH will see them this week (but won't have access to a bathroom) so is going to give them some spray or mousse to try and use themselves Confused

OP posts:
HighwayDragon1 · 31/01/2016 20:45

It's good practice when using hedrin etc to treat once then agsin 2 weeks later. Do that, nuke the wriggly bastards.

RandomMess · 31/01/2016 20:49

Why don't you carry on with the nitty gritty and get the girls to wash with the hedrin the next weekend when you don't have them?

Not fair, not right but perhaps will keep on top of it?

How old are the DSDs?

RapidlyOscillating · 31/01/2016 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:03

How old do DC have to be for pharmacy first?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 31/01/2016 21:07

Rapidly you don't need to wash it 3 time - next time you have to use it (Hedrin Once) or any of the other oily treatments slather shampoo straight onto it BEFORE getting it wet to wash off - that works a treat - then shampoo again

I know it works as I did my own this morning Grin

Longdistance · 31/01/2016 21:13

We used Hedrin once. Was brilliant after using full marks and another one, that were useless.
Get a nitty gritty comb in too. Best thing ever.
I think the Hedrin suffocates the lice.
scratches like mad
Your poor dsc Sad

AlpacaLypse · 31/01/2016 21:16

I love Hedrin almost as much as love the Nitty Gritty comb Grin

When washing it out, put the shampoo in first and rub it in before any water gets onto hair/scalp. It does say this in the instructions but in very small print. It's a bit like if you use Swarfega (for those amongst us who have ever worked with engines and engine oil).

Best of luck OP, this really is one of those situations where it doesn't matter which parent or step parent does it, it's got to be done.

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:19

I don't have a problem doing it it part and parcel of kids.

I do object to being the only person who is doing it (OH and I).

But then 11 yr old DSD1 still bed wets.

We bought an alarm which was chucked away and OH has asked for a referral to the specialist but his ex has moved house and not left a forwarding address or told the GP Angry

OP posts:
shebird · 31/01/2016 21:23

It's unfair of their mum to allow them to be in this state and expect them deal with it themselves. She is being very U

Sairelou · 31/01/2016 21:32

The 11yo still wets the bed and the mum isn't doing anything about that then I would consider asking your OH to take her to the GP with him.

Seems like this goes way beyond the nits situation Thanks

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:35

He did take her to GP and got a referral to the specialist but they have since moved and not notified GP or left forwarding address.

She's been on pills for about a year but they don't always work so residentials and sleepovers are out for her Sad

OP posts:
RandomMess · 31/01/2016 21:37

Sounds like low level neglect Sad

Would the dsds be interested/happy to spend more time at yours than they do at the moments?

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:38

I work in SC they wouldn't do anything but I agree.

No as we are 150 miles away.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:42

And their mum threatens withdrawal of contact quite a lot...

OP posts:
NickNacks · 31/01/2016 21:47

If she's been on medication (desmopressin?) for a year then it sounds like she has been referred and seen by an enuresis clinic. They aren't prescribed by the GP. And the medication or alarms don't work routinely for everyone so maybe that's why it was not used.

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:50

They were prescribed by the GP.

OP posts:
Dungandbother · 31/01/2016 21:51

I've had desmopressin prescribed by GP.

Well done for making the best of a bad situation OP. Even though it doesn't feel like it

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:51

And the alarm was chucked away as soon as she took it home because her mother didn't like the fact it clipped onto her pants and was "near her bits" a term I hate.

OP posts:
Dungandbother · 31/01/2016 21:53

My DD had the alarm. It really needs parental input to be effective. It was free from enuresis clinic and returned to them.

Can you get her to a clinic near you and have a new alarm? To keep at yours?

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 31/01/2016 21:54

Once when I went to get them I went into her room and it stank of wee as there was no plastic sheet on it and she is left to change her own bed so we just bought her a new mattress and a plastic sheet.

OP posts:
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