to not go with the theme for this hen do?

[ritaskeeterspen]

NC as some of the people going are MNers.

Sorry this is long but I need to explain the reasons I feel as I do. Going to a hen do in a few weeks. The 'theme' is burlesque.

Background: I have a 2yo and 4 month old twins, my husband has just left, I'm suffering from PND and anxiety, I feel absolutely rock bottom in terms of my self confidence. The majority of other ladies who will be going are all very confident, outgoing and happy with their bodies. They think nothing of going out in skimpy outfits and flashing some flesh.

I've ordered a 'burlesque' outfit, tried it on. I feel ridiculous. I have no boobs since I stopped BF, and although I'm very lucky to have 'sprung back' as it were, I don't feel like showcasing my post baby body to all and sundry. My image of my body has changed massively since having my children and I no longer see my body as something 'sexy' or 'attractive', I'm a mummy who uses my body to protect and nurture my children. The thought of having to squeeze into a basque and a tutu makes me really sick.

Also, since I don't get out much these days, I want to be able to enjoy the day rather than worrying about how I look/being a laughing stock the whole time.

If I don't go with the theme I'll be the only one. AIBU to not just suck it up for 1 day? Or should I stick.out like a sore thumb and wear a nice dress instead?

[Polgara25]

Top hat and tails?

The vintage, cross dressing look. Very much in the spirit of burlesque:

www.google.co.uk/search?q=woman+in+a+suit+burlesque&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjggea3ws_KAhWE9g4KHfngAI4Q_AUIBygB&biw=1525&bih=736&dpr=0.9#tbm=isch&tbs=rimg%3ACWWSOxDn3Ly6IjgYV12tiXJ8PkAh_1b77fLFa5co4-a64C0EoczH_1jvUzKW46Jj6lvR94BuBWb5kDtpV-PsYq3b5HESoSCRhXXa2Jcnw-Edrjnihxv5haKhIJQCH9vvt8sVoR6Yh-L-232AMqEgnlyjj5rrgLQRFq4eaYuUwFaSoSCShzMf-O9TMpEWFJfb5LlNe9KhIJbjomPqW9H3gRj4vFOzFc-TwqEgkG4FZvmQO2lRES4R-md8ql6CoSCX4-xirdvkcREdWYUIE31PNJ&q=cross%20dressing%20woman%20suit

[Goingtobeawesome]

If you don't want to dress up, don't.

If you don't want to go, don't.

I know you've paid but don't be miserable for the sake of a few quid.

[DarkRoots]

Just wear a dress, a feather boa and long gloves. Cheap and easy on eBay. Hen dos are generally designed to be fun and the bride is allowed a bit of frivolity. It's not the end of the world.
But don't go if you are going to be miserable- no fun for you. Just be well.

[Alconleigh]

Sack it off if you don't actually want to go; I mention that as you say you'd cancel but you've paid for it. It's the sunk cost fallacy; or in plainer terms, no point throwing good money after bad....But if you do want to, wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. I'd rather attend amateur dentistry 101 with no anaesthetic than a burlesque class, but you may not be blessed with quite such strong opinions as me 😀

[limitedperiodonly]

might make attending the wedding a tad awkward.

True AnnaMarlowe. The horror meant I didn't think it through.

I wasn't planning to have a hen night, but everyone at work said I should, so we went from work, after tarting ourselves up a bit, to Kettners.

It's changed now. At the time it was a posh Pizza Express with a champagne bar and live piano.

So it was a bit special but it was Pizza Express prices plus a little bit more, which everyone was happy with paying.

Other friends met us so we ended up in a party of about 25. It was a fantastic night and I'm so glad they persuaded me to do it.

No traipsing round the streets in fancy dress or ritual humiliation at dance classes was involved and it was over in about four hours. Perfect.

[limitedperiodonly]

I'd rather attend amateur dentistry 101 with no anaesthetic than a burlesque class, but you may not be blessed with quite such strong opinions as me

I am

[pinkcan]

I think I would wear a black top and black trousers and then get a big colourful feather boa to fit the theme loosely. Possibly some gloves as well.

[CalleighDoodle]

I used to do burlesque dance classes. They were ace.

I was also going to suggest a dita von tesse look.

[ritaskeeterspen]

I knew I could rely on you guys. As well as some amazing suggestions you've given me a right good giggle.

[Goingtobeawesome]

Have you decided what you are going to do, Rita?

[Pedestriana]

www.lasvegasburlesqueclasses.yolasite.com/resources/10290008_842928245739772_6693153728364815559_n.jpg This is how folks have been dressed when I've done a burlesque class, if it helps.

[Pedestriana]

Link fail!

[Xmasbaby11]

Crikey you're doing well to get out at 4 months in! At that stage I managed goin out 8 to 10pm in stretchy jeans and a long top. I'm sure there's a compromise with the theme. Hope you enjoy it!

[VirginiaWoofs]

Black jeans. Silky loose camisole top. Ostrich fancy feather in your hair. Jobs a good un

[partialderivative]

Are you going to York? Weekend evenings there are full of women in strange costume. To the point you may feel rather awkward if you are not dressed as a tomato or a dungeon keeper (or burlesque)

[Trills]

YANBU to not want to dress this way. I expect some of the others are less keen than you think, but also thought they were the only ones so didn't want to say anything.

It sounds as if it's too late to change the theme though, so you can either go along dressed differently, or not go.

Could you go in a tuxedo-style outfit and be the compere?

[TitClash]

Did you know you can wear a mans suit, dramatic eye make up and that would also be burlesque?

[FarrowandBallAche]

After reading your second post OP with the intinetary I would just not go!

Sounds a horrible day out.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

Agree with pp in suggesting you go with the spirit but adapt it to your own preferences. I attended a hen do with a neon theme (in Brighton in a hen and stag superclub!). Totally out of my comfort zone and I am tall and size 18 so the tiny tutu and leotard/leggings/neon legwarmers look was not going to work for me. I am vain but resourceful so I found a couple of tops to layer over and a long neon patterned scalloped skirt with matching leggings (sounds horrendous but was surprisingly effective). I felt comfortable on the day and part of the group but not a square peg squeezed into a lime green tube top.

So google some vintage burlesque images for inspiration and find something in the same spirit you can wear and feel good in. You will be fine and the others will end up wishing they had thought of it when they try and spend an evening in ridiculous dress up and you look sexy and stylish...

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

I think you could look really lovely and classy in a Dita von Teese style dress and just add burlesque accessories likes fan? You can absolutely do this and it sounds like you need a night out with friends

[HanYOLO]

I quite like the idea of the class!

For a laugh

But afterward I would be getting fully, classily clad a la dita vt or in tux, shirt and lippy.

But christ, 4 month old twins is the perfect excuse if you don't fancy it.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

i did a friends burlesque hen do last year

we had a dance class/lesson about strutting up and down room flicking hair and feather boa, was funny

wear a nice black dress and boa, (thats what i did) or corset with skirt/trousers