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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to do the school run next week?

58 replies

cantthinkoffunnynamewastaken · 28/01/2016 09:23

I have been signed off work for a month with stress. This may be extended.
Dh ex had asked months ago if we can have the dsc to stay next week while she goes on holiday. Fine, no worries. They are 13 and 15 and I know they are used to lifts to and from school most days. I have Dh while they stay here they will need to use good old fashioned public transport. There is a bus outside our door at 8.25 which gets them to school for roughly 8.45. Dh is working all week, he is self employed On a contract basis. We also have a 15mo dd. Dh ex wife is not happy that I will not be using my "time off" to drive the dsc to school and back again. I don't really care tbh but just thought I would ask. Aibu?

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 28/01/2016 11:05

If she doesn't like it the she can arrange for some else to look after then or cancel her holiday.

Your are not having 'time off' you are signed off with ill health. You have too look after yourself and your 15 month old.

Clutterbugsmum · 28/01/2016 11:06

Look after them not then

LordOfMisrule · 28/01/2016 11:11

I'd suggest they get the bus when you are fit to work again too.

They're not 6.

RidersOnTheStorm · 28/01/2016 11:11

YANBU. If you were at work they'd have to get the bus anyway.

liz70 · 28/01/2016 11:22

At 14 I had a 45 minute journey involving train followed by bus to school. Your dscs should have no problem with a short bus journey at their age. They need to learn some independence.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 28/01/2016 11:24

No YANBU- they can get the bus.
If you was at work what would they do?

Their mum isn't happy that you're not using your "time off" to run around after her kids basically.

  1. You're off work with STRESS. Aka off sick. Just because you're not bed ridden with flu it doesn't mean you should run around doing your dsc's school runs because their mum wants you to.
  2. Even if you were off because you're on holiday or was made unemployed, you still wouldn't be there as a taxi. They are 13 and 15- on the bus you go! Bye.
puzzledleopard · 28/01/2016 11:26

I agree with Clutterbugsmum if she is that bothered about it arrange for someone else or Cancel her holiday. Your are not having 'time off' you are signed off with ill health.

They should be fully capable of getting to school, let them learn to do something for themselves. I think an earlier bus maybe better if it is only just going to get there in time. Sometimes I get a bus which is on a school route and at that time in the morning it can be 10-15 mins late with traffic and all the pickups.

CheesyWeez · 28/01/2016 11:27

If it's a public bus and they're really nervous then get DH to practise journey with them the day before. On the day itself there will probably be some schoolmates on the bus!
Most teenagers would be thrilled to be independent ime
Do they get out of school at the same time?

Aworldofmyown · 28/01/2016 11:31

Illness aside, I would't want to take the baby out on that short trip unless i really had to. I hate doing the school run with my 9 month old but I have to take my eldest to school sadly the little buggers are too little Smile

They can get the bus!

RedMapleLeaf · 28/01/2016 11:33

Dh ex wife is not happy that I will not be using my "time off" to drive the dsc to school and back again.

What makes you believe that?

Enkopkaffetak · 28/01/2016 11:35

My 12 year old and 14 year olds go each morning to the school bus at 7 15 am. IF I am on the late shift (like today) I could drive them but why add to pollution when there is no need?

HarrietVane99 · 28/01/2016 11:35

Boggling at the idea that a thirteen year old and fifteen year old could be so nervous of getting a bus for a short journey they need their father to practice the journey with them in advance.

LaurieLemons · 28/01/2016 11:39

Even if you were just taking your annual leave I would say yanbu. Having a lift at that age is a nice thing not a necessity.

SoupDragon · 28/01/2016 11:40

Boggling at the idea that a thirteen year old and fifteen year old could be so nervous of getting a bus for a short journey they need their father to practice the journey with them in advance.

I'm an adult and I'm nervous of new trips. I worry about recognising the stop in time etc. Nothing wrong with a practice run just so they know what they're doing. I always much happier when ive made a trip before.

However, there is no indication from the OP that the children are at all nervous about it.

MyCatIsTryingToKillMe · 28/01/2016 11:40

My 11yoDS started secondary school in September and gets the public bus to and from school - about a 20 minute journey each way. If he can do it I'm pretty sure a 15yo can manage!

SoupDragon · 28/01/2016 11:42

My DSs have been getting the bus back from secondary since DS2 was 11. I think DS1 was 13 but he was my PFB so I was happy to bring him home. At the start they were together but pretty soon they simply came back with assorted friends.

GreenTomatoJam · 28/01/2016 11:50

Good lord, I (and I assume the kids who live in my village still do the same) had a 20 min walk, 15 minute train ride, and 30 minute walk (uphill both ways with gravel in my shoes Wink) from the age of 11. - and I was persistently late, and the school just had to deal with it because the alternative was to arrive an hour and a half early (and leave home before 7).

No choice, my mum couldn't drive, and I had younger siblings who went to the village school

I think a 20 minute bus ride from right outside straight to school in plenty of time should be just fine!

BabyGanoush · 28/01/2016 11:58

it does depend if the bus gets them in on time

8:45 would be too late for all the comps here

But if not, there must be an earlier bus?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 28/01/2016 12:12

YANBU, that's ridiculous.

Would you have taken them to school if you were going to work as usual and presumably dropping off your 15mo to childcare?

MilkRunningOutAgain · 28/01/2016 12:14

If the bus gets them in late and there is no earlier bus, they could walk, unless you are rural and a 20 min journey is actually quite a long one, but in a city 20 mins at that time unlikely to be beyond walking distance.

leelu66 · 28/01/2016 12:14

SHE'S not happy? Who is she? Who IS she?

Why does she think she has the right to dictate to you? I hope you/your DH told her to do one.

You're already doing her a favour and changing access dates?!

powerfail · 28/01/2016 12:22

Harriet i have a 13 year old who won't catch the bus alone. She walks the two miles rain or shine because she finds getting on the bus, talking to the driver, sitting next to strangers and getting off at right place overwhelming and it makes her anxious.

Pipistrella · 28/01/2016 12:32

Mine has to go out at 7.30am to get to school by 8.40, even though the journey itself is only 25 minutes - the bus just goes much too early.

Having to get a bus from outside the door at 8.25 would be BLISS for him.

I think they will cope fine for a short period of time - who will be paying the bus fares though? It is about £20 a week for a travel card where we live.

MrsUltra · 28/01/2016 12:40

I would have said YABU, except that you have 15mo so it would be a hassle taking her out. Otherwise I would.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 28/01/2016 12:55

MrsUltra How would the OP be unreasonable if whether she has a small child not? Even if she didn't have a child of her own, their mum is going on holiday and the OP is under no obligations to get her teenage dscs to school. If their mum was so bothered about her snowflakes getting a lift then she shouldn't have booked a holiday.