Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think being a mother is hard?!

45 replies

moopymoodle · 27/01/2016 20:09

I love my kids more then life itself but days or a run of days like today and I often wonder what the hell is going on!

I have 2 boys, both under 7. They bicker constantly and when they aren't bickering they are play fighting or pulling every bloody toy in the house out.

I can deal with everything motherhood throws at me but the guilt. The guilt I feel after telling them off or occasionally shouting ruins me! It's awful as I really do love them to bits and to feel overwhelmed and get angry goes against my maternal instinct arghh.

I know deep down I don't have to be the perfect Disney Mum. Please tell me other Mums feel like this sometimes?!

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 27/01/2016 20:10

YANBU

notenoughbottle · 27/01/2016 20:12

I feel like this a lot! My two boys 7 and 9 fight a fair amount and my toddler can be hard work! Sat here now with peppa pig on again, no dinner so far and three kids still to put to bed so YANBU!

TenWineBottles · 27/01/2016 20:13

YANBU

Gin helps Wink

NeedACleverNN · 27/01/2016 20:15

Parenthood is hard.

No one knows how hard it is until they are a parent.

Anyone who says otherwise is either lying to themselves or drink

Griphook · 27/01/2016 20:15

occasionally shouting well I think you're doing well if it only occasionally. I seem to shout at mine all the time sadly

NeedACleverNN · 27/01/2016 20:15

Drunk* Hmm

MagpieCursedTea · 27/01/2016 20:17

YANBU
It's hard and I say that as a mother of just one child. I'm still desperate for another though!
It's hardest but equally the most wonderful thing I've ever done.

CwtchMeQuick · 27/01/2016 20:18

I feel like this all the time!

I only have one DS but I'm a lone parent and the guilt definitely gets me. There is always something to feel guilty about.
Parenting is hard. Being a mother is hard. It's okay to feel like it's hard and it's okay not to get things right 100% of the time.

You are definitely not alone

RudeElf · 27/01/2016 20:18

I am loving the combination of tenwinebottles recommending gin and the next post mentioning being drunk but making a typo! Grin so are we all drunk then?

Itsallaboutme3 · 27/01/2016 20:18

Yanbu - i feel like this most days; having a bad day today. It is hard

Ginmakesitallok · 27/01/2016 20:19

Gin does help - a bit. My two dds (6 and 12) have been driving me mad all day. They've argued from the minute they got up, spilt juice, dropped weetabix, cried about homework, pulled toys out everywhere, left rubbish lying around. But then dd2 "helped" with the dishes and gave me a lovely cuddle when I took her to bed and dd1? Well she went to bed early. So I love them both again.

It's relentless and thankless most of the time.

Ragwort · 27/01/2016 20:20

I don't feel guilt, I just feel utter exhaustion with the whole business of 'being a parent' it is utterly relentless, I have a teenager now and it never gets any better.

I honestly wish I could say 'it's the most wonderful thing I've ever done'.

It isn't for me. Sad

Original poster
moopymoodle · 27/01/2016 20:22

Thankyou everybody. It helps so much to know I'm not alone! Was starting to feel like I'm doing a crap job.

Ones asleep and my eldest is currently crying and feeling unloved. DH thinks I'm too soft at times, maybe I am hmm. I was brought up with aggressive parenting and I fear damaging them emotionally if I'm too strict which often results in me trying to reason with them about behaving better.

I need to toughen up don't I? Maybe I could ban screen time till they start listening to me more. Amy suggestions would be very welcome as fed up!

OP posts:
PennyHasNoSurname · 27/01/2016 20:22

You lot need to follow Hurrah For Gin om FB. I saw a friend had liked a drawing she had put on and it summed up my shitty day to a t.

I find her a grand moral support on days when you just want to lock yourself in the bathroom.

NinaSimoneful · 27/01/2016 20:25

Yanbu at all.

I've an (almost) 3 year old and am 32 weeks pregnant. We had a bad day yesterday, I was just too tired and lacking in energy to deal with her whining and screaming properly ie, calmly. All any of us can really do is take a couple hours when DC are in bed to unwind a bit and recharge and start again fresh the next day.

JustAWeeProblem · 27/01/2016 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustAWeeProblem · 27/01/2016 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ifcatscouldtalk · 27/01/2016 20:37

Yanbu. Yes its worth it and you most certainly love them with all your heart. Parenting and having a young family can be seriously over romantisized though.

NinaSimoneful · 27/01/2016 20:39

Sorry JustA, not getting even that little break must make it very hard.

I can at least recharge with a brew and some choc. (No Wine though!)

Owllady · 27/01/2016 20:41

My boys are 14 & 8
Share a bedroom :( they are fighting, screaming tonight and its doing my head in

PicnicPie · 27/01/2016 20:42

Another one here who finds it....yep...you've guessed it relentless and thankless. And when I don't feel that then I'm feeling guilty for not being better. Or I worry about if something was to happen to me or them. Can't win!

SaggingTits · 27/01/2016 22:23

Yep, it's the hardest thing in the world. I enjoy going to work, it's a rest!

Ragwort · 28/01/2016 07:35

Parenting and having a young family can be seriously over romantisized though

^^ Totally agree, and the tragedy is that no one realises this until it is too late. Sad.

BoboChic · 28/01/2016 07:40

Being a good parent is a lot of responsibility and, unfortunately, mothers tend to get landed with a disproportionate share of that responsibility.

ewbank · 28/01/2016 07:42

God yes. Look you're a parent but you're a human as well.

We all get impatient and ratty. I think it's important to recognise that you are also tired when the kids are tired and crabby. Your tiredness deserves acknowledgement as well as theirs.

Are you doing your best? Because that's all you can do.