to not agree with the pre-school teacher?

[Bishopsbuddy]

My son will be 4 in March and is currently attending Pre-school. He is small for his age but fully developed and meeting all milestones.

After Christmas the teacher pulled me aside and told me my Son is unable to clean himself properly after having a bowel motion (in the toilet, he's totally toilet trained) she said he quite often smears poo on the toilet seat and doesn't clean it afterward (he's three) and although attempts to clean he never does it properly.

She asked me to train him to poo before or after school as the situation as it is is not acceptable.

I have been trying hard to teach him to clean properly and I sent some wet toilet paper into school to help him. She had phoned and said that the wet wipes aren't allowed to be used in school as they will block the drains.

What else can I do?
AIBU to consider pulling him from pre school all together???

I am wondering if the teacher has ever had children of her own? She seems out of touch.

Yes of course Boffin Mum - I was so outraged by the tone of Nutella's post I think I was transported back in time!

I can only see it being an issue for the teacher if she is on her own in the classroom. She can't leave the DCs unsupervised while she cleans a toilet. Is there someone else with her?

Thank you for all your advice. Nutella it is indeed a private Prep. Armed with all your support I went to speak to the teacher. She has a class of 16 children and there are two class room assistants.

When I told he I wanted to discuss the situation along with looking at their toile ting policy for pre schoolers she became very defensive. She felt I was making a big issue of this and maybe if he could just poo at home their would be no problem. So in view of this I asked to speak with her and the principle to come up with a plan which works. Obviously I will be CONTINUING to encourage him to clean himself and leave the bathroom in a manner he would wish to find it.
She feels I am over reacting but has consented to arrange a meeting!!!

I think the first thing on the agenda at the meeting should be for her to come up with a workable plan to teach your ds to poo at home.

Bloody ridiculous. The second you mention that prime piece of advice to the principle, she should be on your side.

Oh dear God, I wish it were possible to train people to poo at certain times. If it helps, I've found that if I say, "I'm going to have a nice relaxing bath with some bubbles, candles and a glass of wine", then they can't climb over each other fast enough to have a shit that, until that moment, had gone unregistered, have you tried that op?

YANBU. This absolutely does my head in. I taught nursery and Reception for 7 years and wiped countless bums, changed millions of nappies and emptied many a potty. They're 3 and 4. Like any other area of development, they'll all be at different stages. It's part of the job. I hear this type of thing all the time, it seems to be increasing instead of decreasing.

Well I just want to know how nutella could possibly know that all the other children in her child's preschool are fully toilet trained?!

Bizarre

nutella do you vet young children's toilet habits before you allow them in your home?
Give your head a wobble - all children are different and with regard to ALL the children at your kids school being immaculately toilet trained well you are full of shit (excuse the pun ) there is no way of you knowing that and if they weren't it is none of your business

maybe if he could just poo at home their would be no problem

She's quite right, there would be no problem at all for her! In fact it would very convenient. Why not train all the 3 year olds to poo at home? Then we could do away with school toilets altogether.

It's annoying and irritating but it's life. Ds2 who's in reception either forgets to wipe or does a bad job. I could strangle him at times with the mess. He pretty much potty trained himself at 2 (ds1 was 3 but don't have problems with him).

Iv now resorted to going to loo with him and training him to wipe properly

She thinks you are overreacting ? how does she figure this ? Surely she is the one overeacting to what is really not that unusual behaviour in a young DC. Some take longer to get these things, and a bit of poo smearage is par for the course. As for getting your son to poo on demand, she is bonkers