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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boasting about your wealth on Facebook. Why?

94 replies

tellmelies · 27/01/2016 08:58

Why are people so keen for others to see how many expensive material possessions they have.

Is this a 'thing' now?

OP posts:
LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 27/01/2016 09:53

bogey Very true.

BrianCoxReborn · 27/01/2016 09:53

I have a long-term real-life friend who is lovely in person but a massive pita on Facebook.

Pictures of her latest designer handbag, Ugg boots, Michael Korrs watch (I saw the MK logo and joked "oh have you been to Milton Keynes" 😂 didn't go down very well!)

However, what the majority of her FB friend don't know is that her father is in prison for historical child abuse. She's devastated and ashamed and heart broken, as you would be to discover your darling father is a monster.

So, a bit of annoying FB bragging can be overlooked.

I treat others with the same reasoning. They're flashing they're wealth because they need validation, adoration, respect. They need those things because, for various reasons, they aren't able to get them in real life.

Noofly · 27/01/2016 09:56

I don't really care about cars or clothes etc that are more expensive than mine, but I love seeing holiday pictures. I just think, "lucky them!" Confused

BillBrysonsBeard · 27/01/2016 09:59

Nowt as queer as folk OP.. I wouldn't do it either as I'd feel embarrassed, I would hardly tell anyone even if I won the lottery! But everyone is different.

Bogeyface · 27/01/2016 10:00

Brian what worries me though is for people like that, my friend being one of them, if their source of validation is removed, then what?

My friend had a glamorous career but it was never massively highly paid. In those days the bragging was all about all the travel she did as part of her job, photos of amazing far flung destinations, cocktails in the VIP bar of some NY club or some such. Then she married a very rich and successful man and left her job to be a SAHM, her feed was full of cupcakes and bunting for a while..... If her marriage ended I really do think it would cause her huge issues because the things that she values, anything that she can show off about, would no longer be available to her.

Peevedquitter · 27/01/2016 10:01

I would have posted 'I hope your builders are declaring that cash to HMRC' at the picture of the wallet with the before and after cash in it.

I find FB tends to ramp up people's levels of stupidity as they try and out do each other.

angelos02 · 27/01/2016 10:04

It is so often the case that people that brag don't actually have very much money. I live in a beautiful house in a vaire posh area but no-one at work knows this as I've never mentioned it and I wear very normal clothes (quite scruffy really) and my handbag is from Next.

Original poster
tellmelies · 27/01/2016 10:07

I would bet your BIL didn't have much money when growing up?

This is usually the case with braggers IMO.

Yes, the less you had as a child, the more likely you are to brag about how many material possessions you have as an adult.

Those who have always been comfortably off never seem to do it.
They are probably more secure.

It's sad I suppose.
I will be more understanding from now on.

OP posts:
shoeaddict83 · 27/01/2016 10:10

sorry but agree totally with Katenka upthread.

if you have a problem unfriend or hide their newsfeed simple!!!

I have many friends who post pics of material things, or holidays or cars and i just think lucky them and usually comment about how jealous i am or how lovely that thing they are showing off is, because usually it is!!

I saved very very hard to afford an amazing 5* trip to vegas last year and yes i posted lots of pics of the amazing things we did that im sure we'll never get to do again. Maybe you see it as bragging and perhaps in a way it was, but i was bloody excited and wanted to share where we had been. If people didnt like it i couldnt give a toss!!! In the same vein im a shoe addict (as per username!) but cant afford designer ones however much id like to, but as a surprise my DP bought me some for xmas that i would never ever have got myself, to me that meant alot and yes i posted them. Again i dont care if it was seen as bragging, i was overwhelmed at a present and shared it!

If we worried about every little thing offending others we would do nothing! I would love a puppy more than anything but DP point blank refuses as he hates them in the house, but i havent condemned all my fb friends who have one from sharing pics or videos of theirs just because im jealous or i see it as them bragging that they have one!

tryandtryagain · 27/01/2016 10:14

I'm not sure how starting a thread about this will help? People take Fakebook far too seriously.

Alicewasinwonderland · 27/01/2016 10:18

And don't forget that some people just try to stay upbeat on Facebook. It's completely different from presenting a false life, they just try to keep some things private.

They show a beautiful luxurious holiday, but hide the heartbreak behind another miscarriage.

They show photos of a posh restaurant, but hide the pain about a relative being diagnosed with terminal disease.

It's only Facebook, it's a fantastic tool, but I don't get why some people get so worked up about it.

FlamingoFandango · 27/01/2016 10:19

I would have posted 'I hope your builders are declaring that cash to HMRC' at the picture of the wallet with the before and after cash in it

Grin Quite! Although he is very 'right on' about big companies that don't pay tax (we've argued about that on FB before) so I'm certain he wouldn't engage anyone dishonest in that respect to save himself a bit of cash Hmm.

For all his little foibles I do like him and SIL - they both are fairly spontaneous 'grab life by the short and curlies' types and I admire them for that even if they do wang on about it a bit.

DH is not friends with them on FB...

Original poster
tellmelies · 27/01/2016 10:20

She puts up pictures of her birthday presents, with a note under saying not including £400 of

FB friend always has pictures of price tags and expensive tickets to various things.

I get people posting lots of photos of their hols. Why shouldn't they?
But is it necessary to post a picture of how much it cost?
That's taking it to a whole other level.

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 27/01/2016 10:27

Why are people so incapable of dealing with their Facebook issues?

If a 'friend' is being annoying - block them, hide them, defriend them. All the tools are there for you.

Complaining on mumsnet on the other hand achieves nothing.

tinofbiscuits · 27/01/2016 10:31

Complaining on mumsnet on the other hand achieves nothing.

Are you saying there shouldn't be an AIBU section? Grin

IPityThePontipines · 27/01/2016 10:33

Far more bragging on MN then on fb, there's already been some on this thread Wink

I think it generally smacks of some need for validation, it's not enough to have something, everyone must know you have it.

PurpleWithaMysteryBun · 27/01/2016 10:34

I get you OP, I was raised to believe this behaviour is vulgar and inappropriate. Now, I do try to be less uptight about it, as I think times have changed, but I do eye roll frequently!

Original poster
tellmelies · 27/01/2016 10:34

Are you saying there shouldn't be an AIBU section?

Exactly. AIBU is all about the complaining.
No point otherwise.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 27/01/2016 10:35

Facebook is about you and yourlife you are expecting people to have some sort of social consence(spelling) while they post their new car pictures or nice holiday pictures somebody is always going to have more its up to us what we want to see on fb yes they might be bragging but so what hide them defriend them or say thats nice and scroll past.

umloulou · 27/01/2016 10:35

I don't mind some FB bragging, especially holidays, as that's more about the experience and it's nice to share that. Often very glam-looking holidays aren't even that expensive, I used to be able to get some amazing term-time deals pre-dc and I wasn't earning much.

I do have some friends who share photos of their designer shopping bags (very upmarket labels - Gucci etc) which baffles me as they're mostly young (students I met through a course) and definitely not on a high salary!

It bemuses me more than anything as I'm more of a lurker on FB, and also keep my wealth hidden (have lots in investments but you'd never guess it by the way I dress). I feel a bit sorry for those who are frittering their cash away tbh, they are definitely the type who will be complaining that it's impossible to save for a house/retirement etc Grin

Madbengalmum · 27/01/2016 10:36

Why bother with this individual?
Facebook is a breeding ground for this, and full of Try hards!

RortyCrankle · 27/01/2016 10:36

Delete facebook - problem solved.

GoldPlatedBacon · 27/01/2016 10:37

I'd rather see a picture of someone bragging about being on a yacht than vaguebooking statuses of 'i don't know why I bother' etc

Madbengalmum · 27/01/2016 10:37

To add, anyone with alot of money doesnt need to boast about on facebook!

celeste83 · 27/01/2016 10:42

Thats what facebook is for, boasting about your life to make others think your life is really great when really most of these people are a miserable and insecure as the next person.