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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To eat bacon

96 replies

TheCaptainsCat · 26/01/2016 14:39

Have namechanged for this, although I really don't think I am BU.

So I share an office with a Muslim woman, who is lovely and I get on well with. Today I have found out that she has complained to our manager about me eating bacon sandwiches at my desk. Where I work people are allowed to eat at their desks as they work, it's very much part of the culture. My husband is Muslim so I don't usually really eat pork - colleague doesn't know this. I am eating it now because I am pregnant and have a hankering for bacon - colleague also doesn't know this. However I think this is by the by really.

I would like to think that I am culturally sensitive, and of course having Muslim family I'm aware of pork CONSUMPTION being haram. AIBU to think that colleague is BU in objecting to me quietly eating my bacon sandwich, and that she can't control what those around her eat on the basis of her own beliefs?

OP posts:

Original poster

TheCaptainsCat · 27/01/2016 10:19

Lorelai - office parties tend to be alcohol free, then move into town later to go to bars. At that point people that don't drink etc tend to go home.

MelloJello - not sure why you find this so unbelievable! It's quite simple really, I did something that offended someone, felt bad but didn't really think I had done anything wrong, decided to seek a second opinion

OP posts:

Katarzyna79 · 27/01/2016 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Katarzyna79 · 27/01/2016 10:44

i need to quit posting off my phone, i hope u understood my jist if not spellings lol

SomewhereInbetween · 27/01/2016 10:46

You would be unreasonable to not eat bacon. Bacon is good. . But from the college pov, I don't think you are being unreasonable there either, tbh I think she is more than you. She should have at least told you it bothered her before putting in the complaint so that you are able to explain what you've said here to her (not that you need to explain anything to anyone). Just about to go back and rtft but in case it's not already been asked, what's your boss said about it?

samG76 · 27/01/2016 11:02

DG2016 - thanks for your "expert" opinion on the halal/kosher rules. Are you as "knowledgeable" about other aspects of the religions, or just these?

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/01/2016 11:07

Yanbu

Original poster

TheCaptainsCat · 27/01/2016 11:29

Katarzyna - I haven't seen anyone suggest colleague is a 'relative of ISIS', whatever that is supposed to mean. As for spouting that Muslims are intolerant and rigid with an incompatible world view; I am in a happy and harmonious marriage with a Muslim, so you are some way of the mark with that!

DH, by the way, thinks colleague was BU, but he can understand why it might bother her, which is kind of how I felt.

OP posts:

PhoenixReisling · 27/01/2016 11:40

I can't believe that some PP disbelieve you cats.

As, I said in my previous post this happened to my own DH!

I hope that you go and speak to the manager and speak to the women concerned (who was completely being unreasonable).

aluvss · 27/01/2016 12:59

As a muslim i would have no problem with someone eating bacon, your colleague is being unreasonable.

Inertia · 27/01/2016 13:15

You just need to eat bacon made from pigs that self -identify as cows - as we have discovered in other circumstances, biology is transphobic and it's all about feelings.

IPityThePontipines · 27/01/2016 15:29

Your manager should have dealt with this firmly, by rejecting her complaint without mentioning it to you.

This. Take this to be a massive warning with regards to your manager's competence.

There are few greater at work troublemakers then a manager who tells everyone's business.

However, in My Muslim Opinion (would be good to have a hoodie like Gina's in Brooklyn 99 for these occasions), YANBU. Unless you're getting bacon grease all over the office, which I'm sure you're not.

Babycham1979 · 27/01/2016 15:35

She's being utterly unreasonable. The equivalent would be for you to ask your boss to have a word with her about wearing a hijab in the office because it deeply offends your feminist/enlightenment/secular principles (delete as appropriate).

Funnily enough, I bet your coward of a boss wouldn't be having that conversation with her, and rightly so; it would be none of your business. This is none of hers.

I second the PP who suggested wearing a Lady Gaga dress made of bacon to work.

Lauren15 · 27/01/2016 18:52

Babycham has a point. Although married to a Muslim, the hijab offends me as a feminist, but I keep my trap shut.

Motherinlawsdung · 27/01/2016 19:19

I'm just tired of hearing about Muslims constantly. Why aren't we hearing about Sikhs, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Christians even. It's boring. Every single news broadcast. Not interested.

DG2016 · 28/01/2016 02:32

Indeed as a feminist I am offended by seeing women covering their heads but I keep my mouth shut and put up with it.

As for many of the Jewish and Muslim laws being appropriate for liufe in deserts over 1000 years ago of course that is true. They are not universal truths always correct for eternity. They suits men (not women just sexist men) in their time and now need reformation (if not atheism - the ideal)

SoThatHappened · 28/01/2016 03:12

I have many Muslim friends who have never objected to me eating pork infront of them.

In fact when I was a student, one of my Muslim friends was going over to student union to get some food and asked if I wanted anything.

I couldnt decide what I wanted and she said how about something simple like a sausage roll...! She suggested it and she went over and bought it for me and carried it back for me in a paper bag for me. She had no problem with offering to do that despite being an observant Muslim.

Your colleague is ridiculous.

PinkPjamas · 28/01/2016 03:16

Vegan here and still don't think you're being unreasonable. I'd never not eat what I wanted to because it offended somebody of a different perspective.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/01/2016 03:27

The only thing I'll say on this is that your sandwich probably did smell, if not as strong as when it was fresh. some Muslims are raised to believe pork is the actual most disgusting thing ever as a vegetarian I agree and the smell of it cooking is enough to turn their my stomachs
So maybe this is as much a smelly food in the office issue as a religious issue. I've raised objections to the microwaving of kippers in the office kitchen and also to the woman who brought her slow cooker in to cook lamb before on grounds of smell pollution. So the religion might be the root of her finding the smell nauseating, but the net result is you may be causing smell pollution with your sandwich and maybe shouldn't eat fresh bacon at your desk...?

DesertOrDessert · 28/01/2016 03:52

I'd ask if your going to be expected to fast (food and drink) over Ramadan.
I'd put both in the same category. living in a pork free country, I'd love a bacon sarnie right now no sauces, just white bread, bacon and dripping

samG76 · 28/01/2016 13:12

DG - for an atheist, you seem pretty certain as to the truth with little evidence.

You also haven't answered my question - are you an expert on all religions or just Judaism and Islam? I though perhaps you could explain the ban on mixing milk and meat, and on eating horses.

Lauren15 · 28/01/2016 18:45

Obsidian is right because my Muslim MIL has the same reaction to pork and bacon. However, you still have the right to eat what you want.

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