To eat bacon

[TheCaptainsCat]

Have namechanged for this, although I really don't think I am BU.

So I share an office with a Muslim woman, who is lovely and I get on well with. Today I have found out that she has complained to our manager about me eating bacon sandwiches at my desk. Where I work people are allowed to eat at their desks as they work, it's very much part of the culture. My husband is Muslim so I don't usually really eat pork - colleague doesn't know this. I am eating it now because I am pregnant and have a hankering for bacon - colleague also doesn't know this. However I think this is by the by really.

I would like to think that I am culturally sensitive, and of course having Muslim family I'm aware of pork CONSUMPTION being haram. AIBU to think that colleague is BU in objecting to me quietly eating my bacon sandwich, and that she can't control what those around her eat on the basis of her own beliefs?

Apple I only became Veggie four years ago so spent most of my life devouring bacon butties. I have to admit the smell of them is delicious but the temptation soon passes when I think of the reason I gave them up in the first place. The sensation to my taste buds for a few minutes isn't worth what it took to get it there in the first place.

In general I do think that YANBU but I do have one question- you say you don't usually eat pork because your husband is Muslim, is this because the two of you always eat together and want to have the same thing, or because the home has to be kept free of pork products for religious reasons ie do you avoid eating pork products in front of him? Eg would you munch the same bacon sarnie at home? If not, possibly a little bit U of you to be more accommodating to your DH than your colleague? But then you no doubt get a lot more from him in return!

YABNU. I've never really eaten meat since around age 2 as I don't like the taste or texture, but do have the occasional crispy bacon sandwich... Mmmmmm......

Your manager should have dealt with this firmly, by rejecting her complaint without mentioning it to you. When silly things like this become ishooooos, it gives rise to eye-rolling and all that "Muslimists taking us over" nonsense, and then genuine race problems are taken less seriously.

Jessie, I think this is what made me wonder if I was in the wrong. I can and have eaten pork in front of my husband, although not for some time, for a few reasons: he wouldn't want it stored/prepared in our kitchen. Understanding this I wouldn't keep something obviously porky in the work fridge either! We also eat the same things at home, and if out for a meal I wouldn't order pork so we could share our food. So I just end up never eating it around him!

My muslim cleaner cleans our grill which is used every day to grill bacon and has for over 15 years without any problem at all.

Whilst most of us try not to offend others (the British are nice like that and it's one reason most people on the planet seem to want tomove here) I don't think what you eat should be controlled like this. She could bring in a face mask and wear it if she doens't like the smell.

The Jewish and Muslim rules about pork were just developed because it went off in the desert and are totally out of place today. It is rules relevant for ancient deserts not a modern office.

Interesting. So let's say you had picked up the sarnie on your way to meet DH in the park or something. How would you feel then about eating it in front of him?

If this is true then your manager is a shit stirrer.

I am muslim and don't drink alcohol or eat non- halal meat your colleague is being ridiculous. I work in a very white environment.

Brown sauce. FACT!

You know, I don't think I would eat bacon in front of DH in your scenario, Jessie. I wouldn't pick bacon for my lunch on my way to meet him because in my own mind it probably wouldn't feel quite right. And he may not agree to being kissed if I had bacon smeared lips!! I guess I do give him more consideration, but of course we are in much closer proximity and have greater intimacy - I can't remember ever touching my colleague really, let alone kissing her i would also be more likely to eat pork in front of him at, say, family Christmas Dinner then in a one to one situation. If I went out for lunch with colleague alone I wouldn't eat pork either. I'd say I was pretty careful overall about avoiding pork if it might give offence, which is why I was quite surprised by this!

That's outrageous
I'd have said to my manager that you are entitled to eat what you like at work
You can't be the only person who eats bacon or pork at work either? Honestly, anyone requiring that in a job needs to work somewhere else!

PS two of my closet friends are vegan, I eat non vegan food in front of them.

Closest not closet! They are not closet vegans, they're out and proud!!

I've never met a "closet" vegan. IME they never shut up about it

I suppose I should have expected an anti vegan remark.

Let's go back to talking about bacon.

OP, do you ever have booze in the office eg birthdays, leaving dos? Or at any conferences that this colleague might have to attend?

Muslim here too and I'be never been bothered (or even barely notice) what others choose to eat. Smell of cooking bacon makes me gag tho, work in an office with a kitchen that does full English breakfasts every morning, altho chef specially does vegi fry ups with hash browns for me so I can't really complain.

Never ever come across this in my entire life either no friend family or Muslim acquaintance has ever complained or cared about food other people consume. Does feel a bit twilit zone around here a lot of the times especially with regards apparently loads of Muslims complaining and being offended by colleagues eating pork. I've never cared, my friends never cared, my family has never cared where are these weirdos in rl???

Fuzzy, you have an office chef? Actually it's probably just as well I've never had such a facility!

Now I fancy a peperami. Good thing I haven't got any!

Yep we have a chef.

I have had this too and was spoken to by the management, I pointed out that the colleague bought in her own food always some sort of curry. I HATE the smell of curry it makes me physically ill, BUT I would not dream of asking her not to eat it in the office, so asked manager if he banned me form eating bacon would he please ban curry as well, he looked shocked and said we cant do that, I said I know and you cant stop me from eating bacon either - of course I wouldn't have dreamt of asking him to ban curry really, but it made him stop and think.

Still eating bacon in the office

I've already been deleted for that supposition mello

Sometimes im shocked at mn....why ruin a bacon buttie with brown sauce...everyone knows its red sauce only!!!

Unless your Muslim colleague spoke directly to you, you have no idea what she said to your manager. The manager is in the wrong, as others have said. I would speak to the colleague if you have concerns, otherwise forget about it.