To wonder why some school mums are so mean?

[Neveradullm0ment]

Just that really. I've had a bit of an experience with the same group of women. who decided they didn't like myself and another woman - we weren't friends with them and had done nothing (except try and organise something nice at school - this was before it had happened btw) The thing is at school and even at work I've never had any experience of women being mean to another woman for no reason. To qualify, I had female bosses I've disagreed with, and female friends whom I've had heated debates with and fallen out over - but it was something specific. No one picked on each other.
Where does this come from?

Alastrante, wow, really? What's wrong with taking medicine for mental illness?

When I read theses thread I wonder how long people actually spend in the playground?
I walk to school, take Dd to her classroom door and she goes in, I then rush off nodding hello to anyone I know and get my arse to work or home for another cup of coffee.
They gates are locked at 9 so no mucking about.

Another here that times it just right for when the bell goes. In and out. Not interested in the gossip, cliques or drama and don't have anyone's numbers.

The parents thing at the school gates isnt important so dont get sucked in.
You have more to your life than those few minutes either side of the school day - some parents dont but hey ho there you go.

Alastrante - your comment is vile and ignorant.

I'm too exhausted from health problems and busy 4 dcs, 3 at different schools and 1 at nursery away from schools.

spanky2 - absolutely nothing Probably better than not taking them?
Just IME the world of mothers of young children on ADs is not a comfortable one - even mild depression can make people less 'nice'.

(I'm through those years now and with hindsight they were really tough for all concerned.)

I'm finding this with baby groups/classes. There are some mums that seem to be intent on making it clear that some of us are not in their group, think making comments such as 'kate, I'll call at 4 and we can take the babies for a walk, its so nice to have company ' queue sidewards glance at me who lives a few doors down and whose suggestion of going for a walk one day was rejected.

I just don't get it - some people are just mean and I expect this group of mums were exactly the same at school and will be the same when their babies start school.

GoldPlatedBacon that sounds horrible. What a bunch of cunts. You sound lovely.

Ironically, if you have to drive to school it can mean a lot more hanging about than you really want to do.

We drive and that means we have to get there about forty minutes before the afternoon bell or we don't get a parking space. I normally don't bother, and we just do slow circuits of the car park until ds appears and jumps in.

Even with that, you end up having a lot of eye contact with other parents and it can get very annoying for everyone that there isn't enough space to park.

I don't park further away because I have a toddler and he is very often asleep in the car at this point, so transferring him into a buggy and walking for five or ten minutes when the car journey itself is only about seven minutes, seems utterly ridiculous.

I wish we lived nearer to school, we have one that's closer but it's horrible.

Apple - thanks.

Luckily for me I'm not too sensitive because those type of comments would really upset people (including one mum I have become friendly with) whereas I'm more in the eyeroll category and just think 'oh do grow up'

Just be super friendly as in having a smile and a "hello", "good morning" or "alright" for everyone, make eye contact and wave or nod at people. This is how I "work" my own playground at drop-off and pick-up time at the school where I teach, and I have found that it sort of immunizes me against any playground politics at DDs school (where it is rife). The offenders appear to come from different groups; and the aim almost always appears to be exclusion just for the sake of it, so stupid. But if you operate in a completely different modus (such as peace, love and harmony), it can't stick.

Other women aren't obliged to offer friendship because your children go to the same school or playgroup. All this someone went for a walk with someone who wasn't me/looked at me funny/looks tired when she's not at the school gate so she's a stupid fake wagon stuff is exactly the same thing as what you're complaining about.

I worked in a male only environment, in a female only and in a mixed one.

Am I missing something? How is this possible?

Abbie totally agree - but actually turning on someone for no reason. That's just weird.

I agree it has a lot to do with having nothing better to do.

Some school Mums used to have careers, social lives and hobbies that kept them very busy. Then they become Mums and invest everything in their DC.

DC comes home from school and complains that X has pushed them/refused to play/got moved into a higher reading group/didn't invite them to their party.

Super Mum becomes incensed but realises logically there's nothing she can do about it so chooses instead to become a Passive Aggressive bitchy arsehole.

It's clearly a recognised phenomenon, there are enough threads on here and really shit self published Mum Lit books on the subject to prove that.

Some people think they're back at school themselves & back in the cool group, cba with it really-then again I never could when I was at school... This is why I tend to keep to myself & just do breezy hello's.

😀

Tell them to fuck off.

Why let yourself be intimidated?

@Alice - My employers agree, and prefer to recruit men in majority, and for very obvious reasons.

I wouldn’t go broadcasting this on the internet because your employer saying and doing this is wildly illegal. (Which is why I doubt multiple employers have told you that they agree with you and that they prefer to recruit men).