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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

do you send your child to school with a cold

66 replies

SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 07:22

DD, 12, is giving me a hard time because I am proposing sending her to school with a cold. She's insisting that you need to stay off, I can't afford a day without pay and I think a cold is not a reason to stay at home.
AIBU? I'm feeling like a bad parent here.

OP posts:
AppleSetsSail · 26/01/2016 11:54

I'd let my 13 year old stay home with a bad cold, yes. Sniffles, no. A cold is a pretty wide berth.

At 12 I'd just let her stay home alone.

I don't agree with the work parallel, they're children and shouldn't be held to the same standards.

Original poster
SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 14:37

To the poster who asked why I would need a day off, I wouldn't leave an asthmatic child at home alone at 12.

OP posts:
thelouisee · 26/01/2016 15:04

When I read threads about being off with school with colds, I wonder if it's just my kids who seem to get them regularly? I couldn't keep them off for being snotty or they'd miss too much school. I'm lenient when they're little, say under 6 or 7, but secondary school kids need to go to school with a cold unless they have other symptoms.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 26/01/2016 16:16

I wouldn't leave an asthmatic child at home alone at 12.

I'm a bit confused. Do you mean you wouldn't leave an asthmatic 12yo alone, or just if the 12yo is having difficulty breathing?

I'm concerned because if you mean the latter, and I'm presuming you do, it seems that you think that she is going to access quick and appropriate help for her breathing because she is surrounded by friends and teachers.

At the risk of being rude, most people don't know their backside from their elbow when it comes to breathing difficulties and this includes teachers. There have been a few very sad cases where a child has sought help from teaching staff only to be dismissed as being dramatic and encouraged to carry on with tragic consequences.

Your daughter needs to be able to assess her breathing and should know how to seek medical help on her own terms, if necessary.

Original poster
SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 16:41

Kondos my DD keeps her own inhaler with her at school all the time and can take it without having to ask for it. As for leaving her at home alone, there is no way she'd be left at home alone in case she had an asthma attack regardless of whether she had a cold.

When she was younger a teacher told her to wait for her inhaler because she was busy. DD told the teacher she had to have it now and was she going to have to go into the classroom to get it without permission.

OP posts:
AppleSetsSail · 26/01/2016 16:43

When I read threads about being off with school with colds, I wonder if it's just my kids who seem to get them regularly?

My kids are now 10 and 13 and in particular the 13 year old is becoming pretty hardy. If he's sniffly and slow/generally unhappy I'm more than happy to keep him home because that wouldn't happen more than once a year (touch wood!).

HighwayDragon1 · 26/01/2016 16:56

Unless there is vomit, poo or blood my child goes to school

Obladioblada · 26/01/2016 17:02

DS1 (11) and DS2 (9) both have bad colds with a chesty cough. DS1 is in school, DS2 has been home for the past two days as he had a high temperature on Sunday and yesterday, plus swollen eyes and a bad headache. Our basic rule is temperature, bad headache/migraine, vomiting or diarrhoea - stay home, everything else: go in.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 26/01/2016 17:03

I think if the severity of your dd's asthma is such that she cannot be left alone then I think she should be at home with you when she is ill. Does she have an asthma nurse that you could speak about this?

Obladioblada · 26/01/2016 17:06

HighwayDragon, what about fever? Anything approaching 38C or over justifies staying home in my book, both for their own sake and for everyone else's. DS1 had a temperature of 39.9 yesterday morning, so he was definitely staying home yesterday and today (back to 37.7 this morning so fingers crossed for tomorrow).

Original poster
SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 17:14

Kondos it's just not a risk I'm prepared to take, I will have to at some point but I'm not comfortable with it yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 17:14

Kondos it's just not a risk I'm prepared to take, I will have to at some point but I'm not comfortable with it yet.

OP posts:
AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 26/01/2016 17:20

its the temp and general level of wellness that makes my mind up.

if its a high temp i keep home, school will send them home anyway!

dd was off weds-fri last week (she's 6) with a nearly 40 degree temp, headache, aches/pains sore throat...etc generally fluey.

she's still coughing this week but temp is down and she's laughing and behaving more normally, so she went in.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 26/01/2016 17:26

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm a wheezer and one of my children had the misfortune to inherent my lungs. I just think that you could do with a better plan for how to determine when you need to be at home with her and when to send her to school - and none of that has much to do with her temperature and other generic advice you have on this thread. Colds and flus are a fairly major trigger for most asthmatics and you don't need a risk assessment from ransoms on the internet, (including me Grin, so I'll stop now )

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 26/01/2016 17:27

Ransoms=randoms

starry0ne · 26/01/2016 17:41

I have kept mine off for cough and cold before as he had been up most the night coughing but has been today with cough and cold.. Normal cough and cold school..I often have quiet word with teacher if deteriorates to call me...However my DS is in primary so won't be contacting high school teachers

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