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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

do you send your child to school with a cold

66 replies

SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 07:22

DD, 12, is giving me a hard time because I am proposing sending her to school with a cold. She's insisting that you need to stay off, I can't afford a day without pay and I think a cold is not a reason to stay at home.
AIBU? I'm feeling like a bad parent here.

OP posts:
KleineDracheKokosnuss · 26/01/2016 08:19

Hand her a packet of tissues and send her in. If it is only a cold, she should be in.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 26/01/2016 08:25

What's her peak flow like, is it down from usual? How does she feel, is she taking her reliever inhaler more than usual? I don't mean to sound picky but I wouldn't make audible wheezing the benchmark. Sometimes chest tightness is silent and it's worth checking the above as well.

Otherwise, send her in, it's just a cold.

Artandco · 26/01/2016 09:30

Oh and yes I'm an adult so try and work with a horrid cold and head pound. But I don't get half as much done as usual as can't concentrate properly. So for a child I have no guilt keeping off if they feel rotten as I doubt they are going to learn much anyway.

Iloveonionchutney · 26/01/2016 09:37

We all carry on with colds, until today as dd who's only 5 has been up most of the night coughing so hard she's been sick so she's going to the doctors, as this is an issue that repeats itself every time it gets cold. But she'll be back in school tomorrow unless there's something really wrong. She'd be off every week if she stayed off for a cold.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 26/01/2016 09:40

Depends how bad the cold is. If it's a eyes watering, bunged up, head pounding, snot fest with a side of temperature then they stay at home. Anything less than that then in they go.

Ironfloor · 26/01/2016 09:46

6 year old DD gets different types of cold.

Runny nose, sneezing, coughing but otherwise ok = go to school
Any fever at all = stay at home
Chesty cough, wheezing = stay at home

I work only part time so I can afford to keep her at home on the odd day and she rarely takes days off school so absenteeism is not an issue at the moment. Last week, she was home for 3 days with a viral infection i.e. High fever, cough, cold.

trinitybleu · 26/01/2016 09:48

DD is at school today with a chesty cough. On Saturday she was proper poorly - pounding headache, constantly running nose, sore throat, Calpol every 4 hours.

Yesterday she was much better (no tissues required!) although the cough sounded more chesty, but refused to have any Calpol. Teacher caught me at home time and said maybe she needed Calpol and a rest day?

Today she's much the same, but begged to go so she could do gymnastics and ice skating after school as usual. Again refused Calpol. Last night she ran a mile on the treadmill with no after affects. If she's well enough to want to do that, she's well enough for school.

Should I have sent her?

mrsjskelton · 26/01/2016 09:53

Crack on! We go to work with a cold so they go to school. YANBU!

CocktailQueen · 26/01/2016 09:56

Depends how bad she is. If she has a temp and is totally bunged up so she can't breathe, then she stays at home.

Just a normal cold - she goes in.

CakeNinja · 26/01/2016 09:59

If they're I'll enough for medicine, they're too ill for school imo.
Headaches/pains is horrible and distracting, I'd hate to work feeling like shit and see no need to force them to.
However it's very difficult to gauge how poorly they are just asking them, they can be quite convincing for a day off school! Mine haven't had a day off this school year and only two each the previous year, but I'm a SAHM now and have to make sure they understand theu don't just get a day off when they feel like one!

Iammad · 26/01/2016 10:22

Unless it's effecting breathing (as in chest not nose) Or high temp, then going to school with a cold is fine.

BarbarianMum · 26/01/2016 10:29

I wouldn't send mine in if they needed medication (unless it was finishing a course of antibiotics at the end of an infection type thing). Other than that, hell yes. They'd miss weeks if they didn't go in with colds.

wornoutboots · 26/01/2016 10:35

I shoved my 5 year old and my 3 year old in with their pockets bulging with tissues.

Pre-dosed up on calpol.

I'm not having them get the idea that you stay home with a cold.

notenoughbottle · 26/01/2016 10:36

If mind had any other symptoms then I'd keep them home. Bit of a runny nose and I'd send them to school with a pack of tissues.

SatsukiKusakabe · 26/01/2016 10:40

The thing that I always try to remember is that they can seem well enough at home when they are not doing too much, but that actually they would rapidly get worse after a walk out in the cold, having to concentrate etc.

My 5 year old was off yesterday, he was really very ill, temperature, spent most of the afternoon in bed, not able to even watch TV or anything so obvious decision. Today, he is a lot better in himself, no major symptoms, and yet I've just got a gut feeling that if he'd gone in he wouldn't manage for long. Is difficult.

At 12 I might trust how she says she's feeling if no other issues with school and absence.

karen912 · 26/01/2016 10:48

Yep. Packet of tissues.. ship her off.

wannaBe · 26/01/2016 11:00

Calpol is only paracetamol. Do the adults on this thread who keep children off if they've had calpol take a day off work if they have to take a couple of paracetamol? Because it amounts to the same thing.

I dose with calpol and then off he goes. there have been times when he' scaled to say he has e.g. A sore throat and really shouldn't go in. But I send him on the basis that if he doesn't have a temp most sore throats will reduce by the end of the day, and he invariably bounces through the door.

I wouldn't leave twelve yo home alone tbh not because of being ill but because most twelve yo's I know would spend the day playing on YouTube/Xbox/watching television and it would be a nice dossy day off school if they're not really ill.

MarlenaGru · 26/01/2016 11:07

Unless DD has a fever she goes to school. Obviously if there has been vomit then she stays off for the 48 hours.
I can't stay off work with a cold and I can't cover a billion sick days with two young children!

BarbarianMum · 26/01/2016 11:11

I wouldn't dose myself with paracetamol to control a temperature then go to work. If I'm feverish I'm surely infectious.

Even if it's to control pain - what is a child supposed to do at lunchtime when the painkiller wears off (I'm talking about a younger child, not an older one who could redose themselves as necessary)?

I'd also contend that if your throat is sore enough that you need a painkiller, rather than a Strepsil, you should stay home.

5Hearts · 26/01/2016 11:15

DS is at school now with a cold (age 11/year 7).
Depends on the severity I guess, but for a basic cold definitely need to go to school.

Tamponlady · 26/01/2016 11:15

Sorry op but you are being played surely. At 12 your child has had a cold before and I assume you sent her to school no Diffrent now

This is exactly why my school now requires a sick note if a child is off ill

Do not tell you child tell you what time it is op

WorraLiberty · 26/01/2016 11:19

Yes of course I send them to school with a cold, unless there is an extreme symptom that means they're unable to go (very rare).

Having said that, why would you need to take a day off work if your 12yr old didn't go to school?

WinterBabyHMW · 26/01/2016 11:24

If she feels really ill, I would let her stay at home, even though it's 'just a cold'... I think it's just the way I was brought up, though :)

SatsukiKusakabe · 26/01/2016 11:26

I don't take paracetamol for just a cold, no. I don't keep my child off school for just a cold. If it's a cold with temperature, pain or distressing symptoms then they have medicine and they stay at home too because they need to rest.

Teaching them to dose themselves up with medicine for a minor cold is going create more wusses than letting them stay home when they're genuinely ill.

You then end up with all these adults martyring around offices with their Lemsip spreading it around to everyone, not getting anything much done and pissing everyone else off.

Don't you sometimes just look at someone across the desk snuffling away with a face full of tissues and think oh fgs go home?

Teachers don't want to be looking after a poorly child when the Calpol wears off, and if they're fine when it wears off they didn't need it in the first place.

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/01/2016 11:33

I expect them to go into school under the same sorts of conditions as I would go into work. So with a cold, if headachy or body achy but no temperature then painkillers (if she wants them) and tissues and go in. If just a runny nose then just tissues! Not sure how asthma affects it all though.

I'd cut back on after school activity though. Snuggle up in front of the TV with hot chocolate (postponing homework if it won't be too big of catch up later).