to not want to feel humiliated for asking for the morning after pill?

[byebyebirdy]

Had an incident last night with newish boyfriend where the condom split - after a panicky night lesson is well and truly learnt, I'm going to sort out going on the pill asap.

So this morning I search out the nearest open pharmacy and head on down. Not once have I needed the MAP before but I've heard the stories through friends/online about how some pharmacists can be a bit arsy about giving it.

Pharmacy is at a busy supermarket. I go to the counter and (quietly) ask the assistant, who goes round the back to where the pharmacist is. I hear her tell him what I'm asking for. His response is a loud "WHAT!" and a laugh. He tells her to tell me the price (I know its not free), assistant comes back to tell me then goes back to tell him I'm fine with that.

Pharmacist then appears, guy in his late 50s I think, stands in front of me grinning and says in a loud voice "have you had the MAP before?". I tell him no. Theres other customers now waiting to be served by the assistant so I'm starting to feel a bit red around the face.

Pharmacist then spends a few minutes fiddling with the door to the consultation room and takes me inside. Gives me the 'chat' about the MAP, asks me lots of questions - fair enough but the tone of his voice and the way he phrased the questions made me feel pretty ashamed. During this chat hes holding some leaflets about sexual health etc and tosses them into my shopping basket when hes done. He warns me to be much more careful next time.

Come out of the consultation room feeling so embarrassed, pay and flee the area. Felt like a slag quite frankly. Was I being too sensitive?

Its him that should be embarrassed, not you.

50. My 16 year old DD is more mature than him. Practically fucking giggling like a 12 year old because, wow. You had sex last night. It's beyond juvenile. Plus shouting everywhere about your medication, prescribed or not. I'm certain beaches confidentiality.

Id be putting In a complaint. Not only for your own sake but for other people's because I doubt you were the first, nor last person he has embarrassed.

Complain, definitely. I'm a pharmacist and this kind of unprofessional behaviour lets the rest of us down.

The way you were treated was unacceptable. Most pharmacies have a separate area or room in which to discuss confidential and sensitive matters and that this pharmacist questioned you initially in an open area was unacceptable. Was it a community pharmacy or a chain (Boots, Sainsburys, Tesco etc). Only asking as if it's a chain you have far more redress and accountability than an independent pharmacy with one owner pharmacist and two dispensers village run setting.

However, I have to pick you up on your use of the word 'slag'. I took the MAP 17 years ago after getting carried away on a first date. Am I a slag? What does slag mean anyway? If it's a woman in control of her body, a woman not afraid to say no when she doesn't want to and yes when she does, if it's a woman who has slept with someone on a first date and gone on to regret it, if it's a woman who has slept with someone on a first date and lived the next 6 years with them, if it's a woman who isn't quite sure how the term slag applies to her and her sexual behaviours then I'm proud to be a slag.

That's terrible. Definitely complain

Felt like a slag, because you dtd with your boyfriend and the condom split.

Completely unacceptable. Please do complain. Luckily you've got your head screwed on but of he took that attitude with someone younger and less sure of themselves then it might mean they don't ask next time they need it and end up in a very difficult situation.

Stupid bastard. How unprofessional.

OK vipers, lay off with the pulling the OP up on the slag comment, would you.

OP is not a slag. Nor does she think her behaviour is 'slaggy'. But some (hard-of-thinking) people do still have a problem with women having sex, believe it or not, and this pharmacist should not be trying to make an adult woman feel crap about taking a responsible decision regarding her own body. Which is clearly exactly what he was trying to do.

I've taken the MAP three times. I'm not a slag, I've just had condom mishaps (seem to be more common with a new partner). I've always been treated sensitively (including the time I went to buy it for a friend who needed it but couldn't get to the pharmacy). Definitely complain.

I thought if you had a consultation it was free? (Been a good few years since my lazy time admittedly)

Have I time travelled back to a pre historic period or something. People still don't accept women have sex. Well do they hate their mothers because without it these idiots old fashioned dinosaurs wouldn't be here

When I was younger (and not on BCP) I used the MAP on a few occasions (mostly when condom broke or even if it hadn't broke and stupidly once or twice when I was using the pull out method with a boyfriend before I got contraception).

I visited chemists and a couple of walk in centres and not one of the dispensing pharmacists/medical staff were rude or condescending - in fact male or female, young or old etc they were all professional and informative and treated me as the younger woman I was then! I was also purchasing a product from their store.

I would definitely complain to the shop about him. You shouldn't have to feel no matter what your age, status etc that you're promiscuous simply because you made a mistake/accident.

My main reasons for MAP (even when using condom correctly) was because I'd got pregnant at 17 and had to have a termination under parental pressure, there was no way I wanted an unwanted pregnancy no matter what sort of relationship I was in (and some of them were long but I was on BCP by then) and I just felt I would do anything not to be pregnant!

Eh?

That was to ghost, sorry Super!

Sorry I dont think I explained myself well, I certainly dont consider myself a slag or anyone else in a similar situation to be - that was how the pharmacist made me feel.

Not on at all. I hope you complain OP.

I've had to take MAP three times, all they've ever said to me is that I need to come back to get another one if I vomit and asked if I've taken them before. Putting sexual health leaflets in your basket is very rude! Offering them is ok or asking if you want any further information but just chucking them in is well out of order.

YAabsolutelyNBU.
I had this crap from an assistant and all I wanted was thrush treatment - they grilled me to the point I ended up in tears (I'd recently had a big op and was feeling like shit anyway).
I complained to the management of the supermarket where the pharmacy was..... They fell over themselves to apologise.
When you're feeling up to it, call and speak to the manager.

It was in regards to post about certain people not accepting women have sex. I do some times chat shit, though. I will admit that.

He's a twat. Complain. I hope the unprofessional bastard gets the sack.

AyeAmarok I'm no more a viper than I am a slag. It's just not a word in common usage in my life, and I'm not sure where, or how, it applies outside my life. The word still obviously has connotations for women which I find archaic, but its use in this context was not one that I, personally, could let go. So what if the condom split? What if you never got ad far as the condom? What if he was your 2nd partner in 24 hours? So what? ALL women are entitled to judgment free contraception in a confidential environment. By all means, throw in a leaflet about STDs but do not judge my sexual behaviour in a way that you would not judge me if I were a man.

What an arse, please give him / his management some helpful "feedback".

My own MAP experience - lovely pharmacist who meant well, a little awkward. It was mainly me feeling weird about it though, I assured him I was married, then that the sex had been with DH, then told myself off out loud for making apologies for it. I wish school had taught us to be a bit more confident about this stuff, rather than making it sound like a last resort for slags.

It was a supermarket pharmacy boogers so not sure if that makes it part of a chain or not?

OP you missed the point. It's got nothing to do with whether you think, or him, that behaviour is like a slag or not or whether you felt like one. It's that your actually think they exist in the first place to feel like one.
There is no such things as a slag. This is not the olden days. This is 2016 and women actually enjoy sex.

byebyebirdy in that case you can complain to the store manager and have a much higher level of redress! He absolutely had no right to question you in that way in public and the protocols for the store will say exactly how this should have been handled. Do you feel up to making a complaint to the store manager? How have you been with the MAP?

Boogers, I think we're at cross-purposes here, I agree with you. Whether OP was married or sleeping with a different person everyday makes no difference - the pharmacist should absolutely not be intentionally making her feel like shit about it. He could do serious damage to someone's life with that attitude, and should not be working in what is a prettyssensitive role, in a pharmacy serving the public.

A last resort for slags

Am I living under a rock? Is this word in such common usage that adult women still use it as a derogatory term for other women?

boogers I was wondering the same thing.