Have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years. Generally happy, few ups and downs. He's been off work for the last couple of months (financially not a major problem, as he was expecting a gap between last job and next one, and planned accordingly, but obviously as time goes on it becomes a bit boring/frustrating), I've been under a fair bit of work/home related stress, resulting in me being signed off for a short period. I'm back at work now and finding it hard going, but slogging on - due to start counselling soon, which I hope will help. So we both have 'stuff' going on.
We both have DC, and our own homes. He has his DC EOW - this weekend was his 'free' weekend, so he came up to mine on Friday. However I had a longstanding arrangement (arranged whilst he was there, pre-Xmas) to meet up with some friends yesterday for the afternoon (actually with travel time etc I ended up being out for about 7 hours, during which he was at mine).
On Friday eve, we had a couple of drinks, and things got a bit amorous in the bedroom. We don't often DTD when my DC are at home (noise etc) so we didn't progress things, but apparently I said let's go to yours tomorrow eve and continue where we left off etc.
When I got back yesterday he seemed a bit tired/bored etc. I'd honestly completely forgotten about going to his (busy day, lots of gossip/chat with friends, and my previously fairly agile brain still feels sluggish after my time off, I'm not concentrating or remembering things as I normally would) and suggested plans that involved staying at mine.
Ok, my bad. I don't know why I forgot, it wasn't deliberate, and indeed for some reason I was thinking to myself we'd go to his tonight (Sunday) as I can get to work relatively easily from there, and my DC are mid/late teens, so old enough to be left overnight/get up for school.
He agreed to my plans, then today has been a bit distant (I've been busy doing housework, laundry etc which I didn't have time to do yesterday) and finally when I asked if I'd upset him, it all came out that he'd thought we were going to his, we hadn't, I never make the effort to go to his etc.
In the interests of full disclosure, we've had 'discussions' about me not spending much/any time at his before, I have said I'd try and do more, but honestly one thing and another has got in the way - Xmas, work, needing to be here first thing to let in builders, meeting at DC school - and at no point since we last had words about it before Xmas has he suggested I come to his. Ok, it's not ALL down to him, but really is it all down to me?
Like I tried to explain to him, I was signed off work because I can't organise or prioritise my time, making me stressed, so digging me because I've not remembered to come to his (and he hasn't reminded me) just feels shit.
I asked if he thought I 'forgot'deliberately yesterday, and he said he did, which I found really hurtful, it felt like he doesn't know me at all if he thinks I'd be that calculating.
Am I totally in the wrong here? He's gone home (alone) now btw.