To not let DS quit?

[HuskyHound]

Looking for some advice here ...

DS is 6 .

He started dancing when he was 18 months old ; he decided at age 4 that he no longer liked it and wanted to quit . I listened to him and accepted why he no longer liked it (stretches hurt him and he was bored).

So I let him quit - no problem . He quit having passed a good few exams .

He then started a self defence class . I feel this has really enhanced his confidence . It's also really good exercise and he loves it when he achieves the next step .

He has also made friends and he is well liked in his class .

Over the last few weeks , he has started playing up when it's time to go, having tantrums etc and saying he hates it .

When he gets to the class , he participates and does well . It's not really a fun class as its disciplined , but he tries hard and enjoys the praise .

The issues seem to be around when we tell him to switch off his games console / put toys away etc so we can get ready to go to class.

He has now told me he wants to quit ; he says he is tired and doesn't like going .

I've agreed to let him change classes to an earlier one and also agreed he doesn't have to go as often , but I'm not keen to let him quit completely .

I know he will want to sit around playing his games console instead .

I feel he gets a lot from his class , as well as exercise , and think he should stick to it .

AIBU?

Thanks HicDraconis, that makes a lot of sense. It would motivate my ds and you've covered areas that reward good behavior and one that I have trouble with, getting ds to take ownership of his responsibilities (he's ten) and go ahead and do what he needs to do, homework and music, (& brushing teeth!) without me nagging him or telling him several times. So rewarding him for doing it without being asked would hopefully build into an automatic routine for him and also keep me from being the mean mom nagging him.

Dinosaurs, Nooka, and Baby, Thanks for the good ideas. I've noticed ds can act belligerent after he's spent a lot of time on minecraft, he is more respectful the less he's on it, dinosaurs haha!, yes, I'm going to try to stick to a routine too but it drives me demented too because it's all focused around dinner time, etc.. I'll try the timer thing too, and yes, I do give in to him, I'm not consistent at all. and getting him off mc and then giving him a few minutes to transition to the real world again ha will hopefully help. All good ideas, thanks!

OP, ynbu, you could cut down on how many classes a week, but I wouldn't let him quit until he reaches a milestone, "finish" it somehow. It seems to me though it's mostly that he is reluctant to get off a fun video game to do something else, and that's our problem too! So, hopefully he can stick with it as long as he's getting some good and enjoyment out of it.

nutella you got from my post that I'm a lazy parent with a lazy child ? Wow

You can pull those judgey pants out of your crack because I didn't mention how much screen time he has

"All they do is stick them in front of screens"....

Again nutella - I didn't give you a run down of our daily life so you have no idea that is "all I do "

Change the routine so it's not such a negative for him to go out to class. If he still says he wants to quit then let him but say he has to choose a different activity instead, so it's not just an excuse for him to stay home and play on the consild

We all do what works best for us (or try to anyway!) but I'd be a bit careful about rewarding things that should have an intrinsic reward as research shows it can have problematic effects on motivation.

Hes 6, why is he even on a games console? Is it an older siblings? In which case consider relocating it to old child's bedroom?

If he is really against it then I'd let him quit. Having been through it with both of my DSs, including the threats about loss of gaming time etc., I eventually realised that it was pointless. They were forced along by me for months, but after a while I realised how it was just stress for everyone: for them, being made to do something they'd grown to hate; for me, knowing there would be a battle every week.

We were always late as they'd drag their heels getting ready, hoping to be too late to go, then there'd be the sore tummies they just happened to get after coming home from school that day. Every week. And on top of it all I was still shelling out the cost for them each week, so I finally let them quit. The relief of letting go was tremendous, and they day was no longer dreaded by all of us. They eventually took up new hobbies instead.

I wouldn't make him keep going if he really didn't want to. I think that it is a futile and eventually a losing battle.

We don't need to micromanage so much of children's time with activities. We don't need to fret about times when they have nothing on.

My kids did several different activities whilst growing up. They all learned to swim. For a time two of them did karate until the club they went to folded ad they both said they had no further interest in it.

DD2 chose no further extra curricular activity, whereas DD3 would play hockey until the cows come home. Their choices, and IMHO not something that can or should be forced by a parent.

When I was growing up (way before the advent of games consoles) I was a home body. Once I was home I was home, and I didn't want to emerge again until I was good and ready.

I wouldn't say it has harmed me.