Am I being precious or was this mum an arse?

[Coffeecreamers]

My DD 7 has poor motor skills, can't ride a bike to save her life and won't try many physical activities because she is embarrassed that she is not good at them. However, she is good at riding a scooter and think she has a sense of pride travelling to school on it because it is the one thing she can do.

Yesterday, she rode in as normal and going up a steep hill so was working harder than normal and I heard a little girl a couple of years below walking with her mum saying 'she is really not good at riding a scooter is she, mummy?' Her mum replied ' No, Tabitha you are MUCH better at riding your scooter than that her aren't you? and then continued to discuss why Tabitha was much better on the scooter than my dd. I just upped my pace because I couldn't bear dd to hear them and thankfully she didn't.

To be fair, the other mum would have had no idea my dd has problems as she looks completely average, was probably just building her own child's confidence and she wasn't saying it for my dd to hear but if my nt child had said that about anybody, I would have told them it wasn't nice and to be quiet. I would say it wasn't kind to tell others they are not so good at things whilst boasting how good you are. I felt like catching up with her after drop off and telling her she was a complete arsehole for saying that in earshot of my dd incase she heard but didn't obviously. I'm beginning to think I am precious. But both my kids are complete pushovers with other children too. Starting to think maybe we need to toughen up?

You silly ladies,no one has said op is being discriminated against, yet you are reacting thus. God bless Emilia Pankhurst.pulls your knickers down and stop ver reacting

Arse

This will be a mom in a few years asking why her DD doesn't get play dates and party in its and why no one will play with her -

Arse, by any measure.

Trolled the wrong thread by mistake there Need?

Fide.you are right I posted on wrong thread,,,not trolling. I do not have time to,I work 3 part time jobs and volunteer 12 hours a week. I'm too tired to trill

Oh jolly good

You're just going to 'trill' God bless Emilia Pankhurst.pulls your knickers down and stop ver reacting on the athletics thread are you? Knock yourself out while you can

Arse.

My ds has ASD and can be very untactful. You still pull them up on it. For example, if he'd loudly told me outside primary school how poor little Tommy's spelling was (not a made up example), I would correct him with "That's very rude to comment and we all have different strengths. I'm sure Tommy is better at riding his bike or at sharing nicely than you are, because you find those things difficult and spelling easy."

Don't all parents??

The mothers an arse. Have you had your dd assesed for dyspraxia btw? I have it and still can't ride a bike. I did learn when I was nine but fell off and never got back on as I hurt myself.

3 part time jobs needs? Gosh how do you fit it all in? Does that mean you're researching cures for
2 other diseases on addition to cancer? Go you!

The mother is an arse. And would probably have a hissy fit if someone did the same to her dear darling.
Fine if she wants to encourage her own child, but you don't do it by tearing someone else down.

You're not being at all precious. I can't say I would have reacted with the same level of dignity and restraint you showed.

What a busy bee you are need

she was an arse, but she may not have realised you could hear
and it may have involved a context you're not privy too, eg Tabitha has a long history of maniacal scooter riding near traffic that resulted in a scooter ban for 2 years and a graduated reintroduction so long as she was very very sensible on it forevermore under eagle eyed supervision - in that context, it could have been a way to emphasise the importance of maintaining her scooter behaviour and sensible approach or Tabitha would have reverted to her usual scooter style the following day, crashed into 8 pedestrians, swerved onto the road and told her mother how unfair she was being cos the other kids are allowed to scoot however they like.

*privy to

or, yes, arse

FlingingMelons

It's a proverb and seems to be quite old. It's a series of three tests to consider before you speak. The Quakers have been using it since the 1920s and I've seen it on the Internet attributed to both the poet Rumi and Socrates although I can't find a definitive source.

I find it quite useful to use with my children, when discussing acceptable speech.

There are a variety of versions but I like this one:

The mouth should have three gatekeepers:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

Of course if we ran the majority of MN posts through these tests prior to publishing the boards would be considerably less busy.

I know it's not really relevant to the thread as a whole, but...

Emmeline Pankhurst.

Oh, and arse.

YADNBU - she was being not simply AN arse, but the Ultimate Arse, Arse Empress, before whom all other Arses must bow.

Ugh. Hope for Tabitha's sake that school very quickly shows her that stomping all over other people will mean no-one will be friends with you. Although doubtless her mother will be into the school like a shot to complain her perfect precious is clearly being bullied because she's such a prodigy & the other children are jealous etc

Do you know the DM and her DD - could she have been deliberately boosting her DD's confidence because she is not good at something or other???

Another vote for Arse. But not a huge one because apparently huge arses are linked to high intelligence - a skinny, bony one. Like those you see on the back end of cows. Probably another link there.

You are not being precious, and the mother is actually doing the opposite of building up her own DD's confidence.

Any comparison just feeds insecurity. It is also the thief of joy.

if my son said something like that i would be having a sharp conversation about using kind words (he has hit the little shit phase where everyone including mom is beneath him im proving to be remarkably intolerant to his behaviour much to his dismay as nanny and daddy always encourage this behaviour and i don't)

I think you should have a word with your Dr for a referral. Your daughter may have a mild form of spastic dipega ( under the umbrella of celebra palsy sorry for spelling.

Arse, raising a future arse