Am I being precious or was this mum an arse?

[Coffeecreamers]

My DD 7 has poor motor skills, can't ride a bike to save her life and won't try many physical activities because she is embarrassed that she is not good at them. However, she is good at riding a scooter and think she has a sense of pride travelling to school on it because it is the one thing she can do.

Yesterday, she rode in as normal and going up a steep hill so was working harder than normal and I heard a little girl a couple of years below walking with her mum saying 'she is really not good at riding a scooter is she, mummy?' Her mum replied ' No, Tabitha you are MUCH better at riding your scooter than that her aren't you? and then continued to discuss why Tabitha was much better on the scooter than my dd. I just upped my pace because I couldn't bear dd to hear them and thankfully she didn't.

To be fair, the other mum would have had no idea my dd has problems as she looks completely average, was probably just building her own child's confidence and she wasn't saying it for my dd to hear but if my nt child had said that about anybody, I would have told them it wasn't nice and to be quiet. I would say it wasn't kind to tell others they are not so good at things whilst boasting how good you are. I felt like catching up with her after drop off and telling her she was a complete arsehole for saying that in earshot of my dd incase she heard but didn't obviously. I'm beginning to think I am precious. But both my kids are complete pushovers with other children too. Starting to think maybe we need to toughen up?

gross motor skill issues

'YANBU, but how do you know Tabitha is NT? Just asking because you said you would have pulled your child up on it, had she been NT.'

How does NT/ND alter the appropriate response from the parent?
Tabitha is around 5, being tactless. The mother was an arse.

How do you know the younger child didn't have a similar unrecognised difficulty? Why should your child be the only one to be built up?

Other mum was a bitch and she's training her DD that being a bitch is acceptable too.

'poor Tabitha is going to end up believing that the way to boost your own ego is to belittle others.'

Not if she goes to a half-decent primary she won't.

I have come across the scooter riding parent once. She was scooting also holding a dog lead with a staffie in tow. She saw me pushing 2 scooters to school and she rode past shouting 'I have a scooter and a dog - surely you can ride one' whilst manically laughing. I did laugh.

'How do you know the younger child didn't have a similar unrecognised difficulty? Why should your child be the only one to be built up?'

You praise her without letting her judge another child's ability.

Needfinsnow You dont build kids up by tearing others down by comparison.

It doesn't matter if she does need. You don't build your child up at the expense of putting another down. You teach kindness.

Need building your own child up at the expense of another child's feeling is unkind, rude and completely unnecessary.

She was an arse

All children should be built up. Not the expense of other though. I'm surprised that needs explaining to be honest you. I rather suspect you of goady fuckery.

Sorry that was for need. Not sure what happened there

No, I don't for sure that Tabitha does not have issues but that is irrelevant really. I mentioned my none nt child because he is a child that might say something like that. He is 5 and says whatever he is feeling at the time. I try to teach him to be nice to other children. I would have told him to be quiet had he said something like this, not big him up. My dd would never judge anyone on not being good at anything - she knows what it is like but if she had, she would have been told off too.

Agree. There are ways to build your own child's confidence without disparaging anyone else's skills. And NT or not, it is surely not nice to be loudly discussing someone else's shortcomings in their hearing and therefore worthy of a reminder that it isn't kind?! Tabitha is presumably about 5 and therefore lacking in the ability to remember that others may hear her comments and be upset by them. Presumably the mum is NT? Because this is down to her, not Tabitha (who is not at fault, really, although if her mum continues like this people may well blame Tabitha in a few years' time).

arse

She is the definition of Arse Hole, with a capital A and H.
Great example she is to Tabitha.

She was scooting also holding a dog lead with a staffie in tow. She saw me pushing 2 scooters to school and she rode past shouting 'I have a scooter and a dog - surely you can ride one' whilst manically laughing. I did laugh.

Please make it your business to bump into her more often and report back here. She sounds like entertainment gold.

Arse. And has already infected her DD if Tabitha is going round saying arsey things about other kids in a loud voice.

'Tabitha, it's very rude to criticise other people like that'

Mother was an arse.

I'm confused, my dd is tiny, I get this from op post on our way to school. We
Live 50 minutes scoot away. I run alongside dd scooter

YANBU.

What is NT?

Arse! Well done for not getting drawn into pointing it out though OP. Rise above it.

Quietwhenreading - can you elaborate on the 'is it true, is it kind, is it necessary' line please? I may need to steal it

Tabitha sounds like a spoilt brat