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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed by female doctors describing groups of nurses and other allied health professionals as 'the girls '?

92 replies

Heartsanddiamonds01 · 23/01/2016 21:13

I regularly hear this from both male and female doctors and although it pisses me off whoever is using this innately derogatory term, it especially grinds and disappoints when it's another women. There is nothing wrong with being called a girl if thats what you are but we are talking about adult women here! I'd never describe a group of professional adult women as such so why do they find it acceptable?

OP posts:
iciclewinter · 23/01/2016 22:12

Men over a certain age aren't usually referred to as lads. Young men perhaps. But women of all ages might be referred to as "girls".

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 23/01/2016 22:13

I'm a midwife as well and never heard the drs saying girls in reference to other staff.

However I frequently hear them calling women "girls" when discussing them.

IE: the girl in room six is.......

I'm on a one woman crusade and I do point out that they're women not girls.

iciclewinter · 23/01/2016 22:13

If "women" is seen as a less friendly term than "girls" then why is this?

Original poster
Heartsanddiamonds01 · 23/01/2016 22:14

But worra, I am specifically talking about how women are addressing each other in a workplace setting, not a friends meet up, post shift. If people want to call each other girls outside of work that's not a problem for me. In work however, the implicit hierarchy the term 'girls' implies is very much an issue. Infantilising someone is an easy and lazy way to put someone in their place.

OP posts:
SeaMagic · 23/01/2016 22:14

Worra if nursing colleagues who are friends want to refer to each other as the 'girls' that is fine.

There is no place for it ime between professionals in a work environment.

SeaMagic · 23/01/2016 22:15

X post Hearts Grin

Original poster
Heartsanddiamonds01 · 23/01/2016 22:16

Yes seamagic yes, yes, YES!

OP posts:
Original poster
Heartsanddiamonds01 · 23/01/2016 22:17

To your first post Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Heartsanddiamonds01 · 23/01/2016 22:23

Good question icicle although any answers we give might be too feminist for AIBU to cope with Wink

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 23/01/2016 22:24

Tbh I prefer being referred to as a girl. Being referred to as a woman makes me feel middle-aged and I don't like it.

I've come to the conclusion that someone somewhere will always be pissed off every time anyone opens their mouth so it's just not worth stressing about it. My blood pressure is right down.

(Where I used to work the men were always referred to as boys or lads.)

EachandEveryone · 23/01/2016 22:29

We get it all the time morning girls/ladies/girlies I don't like it but I couldn't be bothered to address it. Only about nurses btw never doctors because half of them are men I guess.

SenecaFalls · 23/01/2016 22:30

Well, ageism does have a lot to do with it. Many people think it's a compliment to call a woman a girl because it denotes youth. So it's often ageist and sexist.

Babyroobs · 23/01/2016 22:32

Milk - I agree, I really don't mind being referred to as a girl particularly by my boss and colleagues who view me as an equal. I don't feel it is derogatory in the slightest, it's just a friendly term and I know that we all respect each other. If any of my 60+ female nurse colleugues are offended by the term, none of them have ever said so and they are confident people who have no problem expressing how they feel.

annandale · 23/01/2016 22:35

Milk I have to say I have never referred to the ear nose and throat surgeons' team as 'the lads' to a patient. Even though they are [old gimmer]. It is feasible in another universe that I might refer to them as the lads on an evening out away from work. In a professional context I don't think it's appropriate. As part of an AHP team I have been referred to as 'the girls' to a patient and I don't like it that much I have to say.

SeaMagic · 23/01/2016 22:41

Yes Baby, would you refer to the doctors or surgeons at your place of work as 'the boys'?

If not, why?

I imagine you would tell a patient that you will ask Dr X/one of the surgical team to assess them. Not one of 'the boys' as that would sound both ridiculous and unprofessional.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 23/01/2016 22:42

annan- Exactly. Some people don't like it, some people prefer it, the (probably) majority don't give a flying fuck one way or the other. Which is why I don't think it's worth getting stressed and pissy about it.

Musicaltheatremum · 23/01/2016 22:47

I'm a GP. There are 5 female and one male. We often refer to ourselves as girls. We are aged late thirties to mid 50s. I have too many other things to worry about.

SenecaFalls · 23/01/2016 22:48

At my workplace, whether someone might prefer to be called a girl is immaterial. Any female over the age of eighteen is a woman. People will be corrected if they use girl in a professional context.

Babyroobs · 23/01/2016 22:51

Sea - No I wouldn't refer to the Drs at my place of work as ' the boys' as they are predominantly female.
Milk - Like you I don't give a flying fuck if someone calls me a girl, there are far more improtant things to get stressed about. We got called arseholes by a patients relative the other day, now that is offensive.

choirmumoftwo · 23/01/2016 22:52

I'm with you on this one Hearts. I am a senior nurse and it wouldn't occur to me to address my colleagues of either sex as girls or boys, especially in front of patients. However, at least 3 of my colleagues call us girls all the time and I find it patronising in the extreme, particularly as 2 of them are younger than me! It feels like a way of keeping us in our place and that's not being oversensitive, their whole attitude points to the same conclusion. Unnecessary and unprofessional.

SeaMagic · 23/01/2016 22:54

Musical, again if you want to refer to yourselves as 'girls' then fine.

But it would not be on for your manager to refer to you as 'the girls', or for a senior doctor to refer to you and your colleagues as 'the girls' imho.

However perhaps this is generally more of an issue for nurses than GPs as historically nursing has been demeaned and belittled in the hierarchy of professions... and historically and currently is a female dominated profession so terms like these and their meaning are very important.

SeaMagic · 23/01/2016 22:55

Okay, then Baby do you refer to the Drs at your place of work as 'the girls'?

OfaFrenchmind2 · 23/01/2016 23:12

YABU. I refuse to accept that the term "girl" in itself is derogatory. I am a girl, people I respect greatly are girls too, and the only time I would consider it insulting or belittling would be because of the tone used.
Fwiw, I have been in plenty of professional settings where the male colleagues were called boys or lads, and the female colleagues girls.

In the world of a real role model :) :
“What do you think is so bad about ‘girl’? I’m a girl. And your boss, and powerful, and rich, and hot, and smart. So if you perceive ‘Supergirl’ as anything less than excellent, isn’t the real problem you?”

wickedwaterwitch · 23/01/2016 23:19

I think 'girl' when used to describe a woman over 18 is patronising.

Language is important. YANBU

Headofthehive55 · 23/01/2016 23:37

No not hear of that in my workplace. We all call each other staff, sister, prof DR, or First names.

It would stick out like a sore thumb to hear girls. They would only call it me the once.