Grammar mistakes that drive you crazy

[SpoiltMardyCow]

I have two:

He hung himself. Instead of he hanged himself.

It was so fun. Instead it was either "such fun" or "so much fun"

What are your grammar bug bears?

Practice/practise

Fewer/less

Give it me

Alot

Starting a sentence with 'So'

He played good/confident/(or any other adjective instead of an adverb).

Oh MardyCow hung is one of my real dislikes as well.

My DS, when aged about 14 or 15 was pulled up by his English teacher in front of the whole class for writing that one of the characters in a story he'd written 'hanged' himself.

The teacher made a point of reading it out to the class, laughing at my DS in order to make his point. According to the teacher, an English expert no doubt, he should have written hung.

My DS is now 35. I do wonder if the teacher ever learned he was wrong about it, but moreover realized what a knobhead he was for humiliating a 14 year old boy in front of his classmates. Probably not.

The use of off and of together , as in:

He fell off of the wall.

I think this has come from the US.

And of instead of have.

He could of broken his neck.

Being even more pedantic some examples here are not grammatical errors- they are spelling errors- eg practise/ practice.

The one which annoys me the most is 'invite' used as a noun. Invite is a verb dammit, the noun they're looking for is invitation. I blame Facebook and their 'Friend invites'. Bah!

Why are you doing that for?

hey are spelling errors- eg practise/ practice

But in American English, they're fine. Can we blame Microsoft?

At least advice and advise sound different.

Katmanwho yes it was meant to be ironic.

They-their as singular - but apparently it has been officially recognised as legit somewhere....and also is used by some gender-fluid people too.

Somebody has parked their car across my drive; they have blocked me in.

This is correct because there is a single driver, but I don't know if they are male or female.

Lots of grammar mistakes drive me crazy but recently one has been grating on me more than any other. It seems to be a new thing and seems to have come from Facebook. People seem to be missing the plural -s off words (mainly names it seems) altogether eg. 'Please let me know if you can come to Poppy birthday party.' ' I'm going to my mum house.' 'Mia playing with Poppy doll.' I don't get it, how does it even sound right when you read it back? I'd say it's even better to use 's than no s at all!

I also get irked by people missing the negative part out of a phrase or sentence that clearly demands it, from the context. What's that all about?

Hes instead of his. Hes isn't even a fucking word.

Not bothering to use the words 'to' and 'the' - eg 'Do you wanna go MacDonalds?' 'I need to go toilet'. Just bloody lazy.

Adding unnecessary apostrophes to plurals eg fee's instead of fees. Why make extra work for yourself, and STILL get it wrong?

It's so cliche instead of cliched (can't find the right key combo for the accent, sorry pedants)
I text him instead of texted, when talking about something in the past
Pack lunch instead of packed lunch

I am sure there are others.

Too many to mention really.
But should of, would of makes me espcially mad.
Effect/affect
Practice/practise
Apostrophes in the wrong place.
Commas before 'and'. Just wrong.

I've remembered another .
The use of "so" to end a sentence. With the addition of implied ellipses:
E.g. Well I don't want to so...
Like it's my job to finish the sentence .

There/ their/ they're

Too/ two/ to

You/ your/ you're

You're/your and lose/loose are the two which I most commonly come across. Infuriating and plain ignorant. I have also seen 'access' used in a repair order. Confused me to buggery until I realised the author meant to write 'assess'.

I hate people claiming o be 'loan parents'! Give the children back to their LONE parents!

I done it
You was good at school
It's fell over

I think there's a regional one 'it needs repaired' - Scottish, I think? Doesn't annoy me but it looks quirky (to me).

"Ah 'that' -- I spent many happy hours as a sub-editor excising every single example from copy."

Interesting Tarty because I had a job inserting thats into everywhere it was possible to have it. It was a difficult job because it often read well without it. Somebody had decided that (see what I did there?) it wasn't correct British English to not have the 'that' so we had to take it away when changing text from US to British English.

"Much favoured by people with affected, nasal, smarmy voices."

Solicitors offices I find.

"Comma splices."

I think I'm guilty of this one if you mean splitting two related parts of a sentence with a comma. I'm not sure how to get around it...

This thread is bourgeoisie darlings!

Though there is a notion of correct grammar and spellings in terms of certain rules, the definition of what is considered correct is so culturally and historically determined that to become irate or offended when you encounter unfamiliar practice is just irrational.

Having said that, the recent preference of impacts instead of affects drives me crazy is peculiar in my opinion, e.g.

The benefit cuts impacted disabled people.

Its use as a verb looks clumsy to me.

Starting a verbal reply to a straightforward question with "So". Also starting posts with "So". It's a recent phenomenonenonenon and very annoying indeed.

Carnt.
I particularly hate this because I never forget the sentence where my DHs crazy ex sent me this sentence:
Don't think I carnt see what you are doing, you are a thick bitch and carnt ever get rid of me get over it

She's the bane of my life but things like this will always amuse me