to think that if you send a letter from a school that might go public - you check for comma splices

[katmanwho]

School said it would give pupils bread and butter if they didn't have money.
Parents complain. Goes national in the news.
School retracts.

The letter is here:

www.albanacademy.org/assets/schoolmealsletterretraction-1.pdf

Part of it:

Following a number of parental concerns regarding the recent school
meals letter we have decided to rethink our policy and will not be
introducing the new system outlined in that letter.
I apologise if this has caused any offence, this was not our intention.

The letter itself was intended to explain the situation and trial a policy
that has been successfully adopted by other schools

Actually - commas seem lacking in the first sentence as well.

This is not a chatty letter. This is an official retraction.

Could do better

I don't think it was a newsletter.

A school newsletter is something gossipy, perhaps telling you about the great efforts children made in a charity event or similar. A chatty, but still grammatically, correct format would be appropriate if it were telling you about the P7 Bake Off.

This letter concerned school policy. A chatty , informal style is not appropriate, aside from the issues of grammar and sentence construction.

If it has to communicate clearly with all adults, irrespective of literacy levels, then it should be less formal. The Crystal Mark frowns on ultra formal general communication.

You are assuming a formal letter means a letter written in complex language.

This letter was intended to explain school policy. I think that is not the same as a chatty newsletter. The letter is badly written.

I am assuming that, as OP suggested, many people would find overuse of semi colons etc a tad intimidating in the latter in the OP.

I don't think the awfulness of that letter is in question. But less formal and less opaque would be a good idea if clarity of the issue was required.

Oooh! What happened with that first paragraph? It seems to have become jumbled... my apologies, it's horrid! I suspect I hovered over my slightly too sensitive mousepad

Schools should be modelling correct SPAG.

But it isn't incorrect.

I did wonder .

I quite like the idea of semi-colons being intimidating.

It could be the subject of an unreadable but highly praised novel by a writer from the former Iron Curtain bloc. "The Unbearable Tyranny of the Semi-Colon" perhaps.

Comma splices are incorrect in formal English. A comma shouldn't be used to join two independent clauses.The question is whether using correct formal English in a letter to parents gets in the way of communication.

trial a policy that has been successfully adopted by other schools is incorrect.

I apologise if this has caused any offence. This was not our intention

It is now correct (although I still think the intimidating semi-colon is better). That does not interfere with clear communication.

The letter itself was intended to explain the situation and trial a policy that has been successfully adopted by other schools

This sentence does not make sense. It does not communicate clearly.

The letter was intended to explain something - what exactly, is not clear. The letter could not "trial a policy ".

"The letter was intended to explain our intention of implementing a trial of methods which have been successfully adopted by other schools" makes sense.

If "implementing" is too difficult then

""The letter was intended to explain our intention of running a trial of methods which have been successfully adopted by other schools"

It does read like a really bad, online translation site was used!

I have worked with young adults with low literacy levels and, in general, they find all sort of punctuation scary. Anything other than a full stop causes anxiety for some. I have had to teach proper use of punctuation whilst trying to avoid overuse. The comma splice was always something that we practised = golden words, connecting words but never a subjunctive clause.

Did you know subjunctive claws can kill?

Or even

"The letter was issued to explain our aim of having a trial run of methods which have been successful in other schools"

Love the fact the OP is using hyphens rather than commas, colons or semi-colons. Better safe than sorry, eh?!

Have you tried working out how to type an m-dash on a computer?

Or even an en-dash, for that matter. The hyphen is taking over the world...

Are you the same arseache who was complaining about comma splices a few weeks ago?

GOLD!

Okay, so now I've learnt what comma splices, en-dashes and em-dashes are. Gotta love MN! (And Google)

A strong writer can easily pull off the odd comma splice. Sadly, the writer in question isn't.

Love the fact the OP is using hyphens rather than commas, colons or semi-colons. Better safe than sorry, eh

I think that internet chat is quite informal - I love hyphens. I find it really really hard to do a comma splice. I think semi colons are too "formal" for internet chat.

I think semi colons are too "formal" for internet chat

I've realised OurBlanche is correct about their being intimidating. I use them on Internet forums if I want prove I am correct and will brook no further argument.

You're right; they are a bit much. But they do eliminate comma splices.

I use them on Internet forums if I want to prove I am correct and will brook no further argument.

lass

If you are correcting your own post, I think you have another correction to make

?

The question is whether using correct formal English in a letter to parents gets in the way of communication.

In the context of a letter where the school are trying to strike a conciliatory tone and get parents back onside, a series of short, staccato sentences would have been inappropriate.