to hate the phrase 'ive worked for every single penny'

[pinksaltlamp]

Usually said buy someone well off to justify having such wealth. I've worked in jobs where I take home 800 a month and 6k a month. The lowest paid one (pot washer) was by far the hardest and the most well paid job was much easier in comparison (although had plenty of testing times!).

I work in a food bank. Tell some of our clients that if they 'worked harder' they could have more and you may not like the reaction. Because that is the flipside of this comment...success is purely self driven.

I must admit I would assume someone was using that form of words to distinguish themselves from someone who had inherited money or been given it in some other way.

YANBU.

Although people uttering this phrase HAVE undoubtedly worked hard for the money, they have also been lucky.

Not lucky in that they have had it handed to them on a plate, but lucky because, in a capitalist society, only a few can make their fortune.

They are lucky enough to have been one of the few hard-workers who are financially rewarded. If everyone worked their way out of poverty, society would probably collapse.

tether exactly. Am a bit about how most people on here seem to think society works. Those who are saying 'oh it just means they didn't inherit or win the lottery etc' - almost all of us have inherited things like our race, class, educational background, being lucky enough to be born in a western country ffs and these things have a huge impact on the amount of money we're able to earn - a 'genetic lottery' if you will.

I earn good money and I've worked hard to get where I am in my career, but I would never suggest that what I have is all down to hard work. It annoys me when people say that even if they're not intentionally being judgemental and are only talking about themselves because it's almost never true that what you have isn't partially (or even mostly) the product of luck rather than hard work, and if more people realised that they might have more compassion for those who have less.

But no-one is saying that those that have less haven't worked as hard.

An example - I had a friend who earned considerably more than me but would go on how I was lucky to be able to go on holiday when she couldn't, to have a nice house when she had a flat that she hated etc. The difference between us apart from her earning 10 grand more was that I save, I don't buy clothes, make up etc as soon as pay day hits and I don't eat out all the time etc. So yes, in those circumstances with her moaning I would perhaps say I have worked hard and made other sacrifices to be able to afford those things. I certainly won't apologise for it.

Yabu

My husbands a nurse he left at 5 this morning and he's still at work note the time please he's sitting with a patient who will pass any time

We don't get any help nothing

We have only just brought a house and that's years or savings wile others when on holidays ect we couldn't even afford a caravan in order to save we have a 2nd hand tent

My family don't help me never have the only time my kids have been baby sat is by a paid childcare

"I would assume someone was using that form of words to distinguish themselves from someone who had inherited money or been given it in some other way."

Whereas I thought they said it do distinguish themselves from people who don't have the money to do x,y,z and say 'I worked for every penny'. As others have said, it implies that those without much money haven't worked hard.

"my day rate at point I had to stop working was £5k per day"

I really admire your career and your generosity with your in-laws, but I think your salary is a good example of someone NOT working hard for every penny. That wage is not a reasonable one. You didn't really do an amount of work that would be worth 5k in another job - you haven't really worked thousands of times harder than everyone else. Do you see what I'm getting at?

YANBU

it's almost inverted snobbery, isn't it? Sort of the opposite of saying that someone is the sort of person who had to buy their own furniture

The only time I have heard it in real life when someone else has said something shitty about what they can afford.

For example a colleague of mine got a new car and another colleague commented that she could only afford it because of her rich boyfriend.

In fact she shared no bills with her rich boyfriend or financial tie with him. She had been saving for a new car for ages from her own money. Her response was 'um no everything I have I have worked for'

It was in no way a dig at people on lower wages or saying that she magically deserved to earn more.

It can be used in a way to put down people who earn less. But I haven't come across it in RL.

I have come across people being shitty about people who get something nice though. Quite a lot.

Wonderful cartoon.

I've only every heard it directed at those who have inherited their money or been helped out in terms of house deposits/education.

I find the suggestion that washing pots is in some way up there with the hardest jobs laughable. I washed pots and waitressed throughout my studies and it was a job that started and ended at clocking in/out time. I could do it hungover and on little sleep, it didn't require hours of prep before/after my shift or necessitate stressful decisions being made that kept me up at night. Yeah I was knackered at the end of the day, my feet ached and my back was stuff but it wasn't combined with mental exhaustion.

I take it to mean haven't inherited. We have trustafaran friends with similar house / income to us but all provided by her father. I do feel proud that we have the same but all through our own hard work. Would never say this to anyone though except dh in the car going home from their house! And only then to cheer Dh up as he is v jealous as he would love to have our income without the slog!

I've only ever heard it (or similar) used where people are having to defend the fact that they have money and are trying to make the point that they haven't been given money by family/started out living a privileged life. For some reason these people are vilified and so those people who have well paid jobs or nice houses etc but haven't been handed it on a platter are understandably quite keen to distance themselves from that.

I've only ever heard it (or similar) used where people are having to defend the fact that they have money

This - I've only heard this type of comment in response to someone saying something derogatory about them regarding money.

I have used a similar phrase once. In my last role, we got an annual bonus based on our appraisal. Although the £ amount was 'confidential', everyone always seemed to know how much everyone else had had for some reason loose tongued managers .

I had an annual bonus of £9k. There was someone on my team who had a bonus of £2k. They were a shirker, well known for turning up late and dumping work on other people and £2k was the minimum bonus you could get whilst technically working at an acceptable level.

This person was really shitty and made a load of PA comments about unfairness and being screwed over and finally made a 'jokey' comment to me about wanting to know who I was shagging on the top level. My response was 'No one, I've just worked for it'. Which was appropriate in that situation IMO because I had worked my fucking arse off all year to get that kind of bonus.

You hear it spouted all the time whether it's Britney going "you want a Maserati, you've got to work bitch" or tom cruise saying anyone can make it in Hollywood if they are prepared to work hard enough.

Ah! That explains why I haven't heard anyone say it in real life.

"For some reason these people are vilified and so those people who have well paid jobs or nice houses etc but haven't been handed it on a platter are understandably quite keen to distance themselves from that."

Yes, but if they're spending their money on frivolous things or showing off about being rich, doesn't make a difference if they've inherited or not does it?

Gwenhwyfar - I think you have accidentally highlighted the sort of negative attitude that leads to people saying it in self defense - I have noticed it on handbag threads too were I hang out and drool at what I can't afford - because nothing brings out the self-rightous quite like a mother spending her money on something just for her that others deem 'wasteful'.

You get people on the shorthaul threads asking for advise eg. for 4* self catering breaks in school holidays for a family of 4 in Spain, something that quite frankly you'll struggle to get for under £1.5k - but that doesn't get the rage about "spending more than some people earn in a month on a holiday!" when you do about spending less on a bag, and daring to ask advice on which one/colour to get. Although this isn't exclusive to handbag threads, but will turn up on any thread involving a woman spending a large sum of money on something that is for her exclusive use/benefit, not for the whole family. (Except art, which is also deemed ok, possibly because everyone else gets to see it too, even if they don't care about it).

Generally, that causes the person being slagged off for spending on an item they want and can afford to defend themselves with "it's my money, I earned every penny, if I want to spend it on a bag, why shouldn't I?"

Asking for suggestions for holidays, furniture, cars, or things that cost much more overall don't get this negative response, mainly because it's not just the woman benefitting from it or because the person judging them can see the value in the thing (even if it isn't a neccessity or needed).

I never understand the mentality that because some people are living in poverty, those who aren't should also live exactly the same way.

Interesting point Dinosaurs.

Who decides what are frivolous things - is it just stuff you don't need or you wouldn't want to buy even if you can afford it? Or is it just buying stuff for youself, not for the whole family?

Most people buying very expensive things aren't buying them to show off, they are buying them because they want them and can afford it.

Funnily enough, the only people I hear saying this are those who certainly haven't worked for every penny. Inheritance, marrying into money, house price inflation; it always seems to be the mantra of those trying to convince themselves they've earned their unusually good fortune.

Pity them, OP. They are evidently troubled souls!

Yes, but if they're spending their money on frivolous things or showing off about being rich, doesn't make a difference if they've inherited or not does it?

Who determines what's frivolous?

And what if they aren't showing off, but just have nice things.

This is the sort of shitty thing people say that usually gets the 'phrase I have worked hard for it' response.

What really winds me up is the Tory sound bites eg why should hardworking families subsidise people living in homes with extra bedrooms. A great deal of people affected by the bedroom tax are also " hard working families" paying taxes.

I think it is defensive. Ime, the person saying it doesn't really want to consider that they are spending so much on a luxury item while others are struggling to feed themselves. So they justify it with the idea that they deserve it because of all their hard work. But they often don't stop to think that there are people who work equally hard, and indeed harder, and still can't afford the basics.

Some people work harder than others. But there simply isn't a straight forward link between hard work and financial reward, despite how much wealthier people would like to think there is. (I count myself among the wealthier people btw.)