to hate the phrase 'ive worked for every single penny'

[pinksaltlamp]

Usually said buy someone well off to justify having such wealth. I've worked in jobs where I take home 800 a month and 6k a month. The lowest paid one (pot washer) was by far the hardest and the most well paid job was much easier in comparison (although had plenty of testing times!).

It's one of those phrases that only really offends people if they aren't happy and confident with the way they get their own income.

To anyone else it's just factual information about someone's income.

I don't see a stealth boast. Just an example that is very relevant to the subject.

I can't say I have ever heard anyone say it in RL.

To me it just means that the person hasn't had it handed to them. Often people who have more feel they have to justify themselves when they shouldn't have to. We are fairly comfortable I suppose, we both work hard, and have made sacrifices. I know people who will moan about what we have as if it just fell into our laps. It didn't.

But it isn't truly factual is it. It ignores all sorts of nuances and influences.

I can't object to the phrase itself as it's factually accurate, however I hate the attitude that usually accompanies it - usually people like one of my relatives who thinks anyone earning sub £30k is just lazy and incompetent as 'even cleaners (in the City)' earn £30k. I was at that one.

I think the phrase is only offensive if you take it out of context, over think it, or imagine that they're talking about anyone other than themselves.

When someone says "I'm overweight because I like my food too much", are they implying that slim people don't like theirs?

No, of course they're not. They're just talking about themselves.

It doesn't imply that they've worked harder than someone who has earned a much smaller amount though, it just makes the point that they feel justifiably of having earned everything they own themselves, rather than inheriting it or winning the lottery or something.
So yes, YABU

I had a boyfriend who said this over and over and 'I've always earned my crust.' He was obsessed with perceived injustices of others making more money than he felt they were worth. He mentioned our moving in together (haahaahaaa) and how I would still need to 'earn my keep'. Best thing I ever did was dump him.

YABVU, it doesn't matter what the job was or the salary every penny of it was earned.

Some people are supported by others, some claim benefits and some inherit. Those haven't worked for the money and earned a salary.

I agree with PerfectlyPurple - there does seem to be often a sneering on here when someone talks about being jealous of someone else's big house or lifestyle that "they've probably been helped out by bank of mum and dad" - leading to others to feel they have to justify that they haven't just been handed their lifestyle, but worked for it.

It doesn't bother me, but perhaps it's because we've actively made a choice as a family to not put money first - we have a nice lifestyle, but DH certainly has had opportunities to earn significantly more, however that would mean he would have to work much longer hours, have much more stress and see less of the DCs. I also have not pushed myself inthe same way as others have.

This thread is timely actually as I was thinking about this earlier - one of the boys in DS's class is normally dropped off and collected by a Nanny, today the mum was working from home and was doing the school run, I was admiring her new designer bag with a pang of jealousy, then remembered that she'd said they often go 3 days with neither parent seeing the children due to both working long hours. She really has worked for what she's got, its taken personal sacrifices I wouldn't be prepared to make to get it.

Yanbu

It's never JUST hard work, there's also a lot of luck, such as parents who can afford to keep you for nothing while you do the qualifications needed for your high paying job, or buying a house at the right time so making profit, or being born in the right time and place.

Also they haven't worked for every penny if they have savings that pay interest or investments... Money breeds money

If you've earned the money which you invest you've worked for the interest too.

Some people are supported by others, some claim benefits and some inherit. Those haven't worked for the money and earned a salary.

I don't see how it is possible for the phrase to be uttered by someone without it being for the purposes of conveying judgment on others. There's just no point in it otherwise. It's not an empty silence-filler like 'terrible weather we're having'.

Great post Mrs Devere. Another who didn't think it was a stealth boost

Very strange my ex husband is well off and has earned every single penny through hard graft. Do you dislike wealthy people ?

YANBU. It's a way of justifying their own particular good fortune. It's done without acknowledging that actually, most people work for the money they earn, rendering the phrase meaningless.

I have never heard it used in anything other than a way that makes an implication that those that earn less haven't worked as hard. However I mainly hear it on MN other than a few acquaintances, who always manage to ignore the societal leg up they were given by parents who valued education, a warm home in which to study parents who supported them, a base level of intelligence, a school/education, being able to find a job, having the confidence to apply/attend and interview, having access to a computer to do a CV, knowing HOW to write a CV, meeting the right person yadda yadda yadda.

Some of the lowest paid people are the most hard working. They've earned every penny too, but not as many despite working equally hard. So I can see why the phrase annoys people. If someone well-off says it's down to hard work, that's only part of the story, because there are other factors there too. Otherwise everyone who worked hard would be well-off.

YANBU. It's annoying and, worse, is unnecessary. As if by implication everyone else doesn't work for every penny. Obv there are some people who really don't work, but most people do.

Anyway I personally prefer people who aren't too up their own arses to admit that they're occasional slackers. People who take themselves too seriously because of their job, or think they're more entitled to their salary than others, tend to be arses, ime.

Sorry about the number of arses in my post

If hard work led to wealth. most African women would be millionaires.

Comparitively speaking we are fairly well off. We have earned it, but we haven't worked particularly hard. We are both clever, well spoken and have made good connections. None of which are anything other than luck really. My friend is a social worker, works in a ridiculously tough job over long hours for not much more than minimum wage. She definitely works harder than either of us ever have but has much less.

The type of person who makes this style of comment is very definitely making insinuations in my experience.