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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be now getting a bit pissed off by these women's passive aggressive attitude towards me?

27 replies

20thcenturyschizoidwoman · 21/01/2016 18:18

I am allergic to dogs - very allergic to dogs. I do love dogs though but I can't have them near to me.

There is a woman and her sister who live on my street and they have a dog. They let the dog wander about on one of those long leads and the dog licks/pisses/shits/wanders everywhere. I am a Childminder and when I am handing children over at the door the dog has appeared in the doorway and wandered into the hall. It's on its lead and its owner stands there laughing and saying 'oh come on nosy' . I asked the owner again and again not to let this and the fact the dog leaps up at the children to lick their faces happen. I just got grumbles. Eventually it stopped.

Now I get rudeness from the owner and her sister. I can't walk down the street without them cat calling me 'that lady hates you Fido - isn't she nasty?' Etc etc. they have also repeated stuff I have been saying to the kids - we cross roads and because I can have six kids I use my 'outside voice' which is bright and clear ' stop at the Kerb, look left and right etc' . The older kids have mentioned the ladies rudeness - they have noticed.

A few weeks ago DH and I noticed dog piss up the side of the car. Not the wheels - the door. This happened a few times.

Then I saw the culprit - the ladies and the dog - saw them stopping the dog at my car and waiting for dog to pee. I banged on the window and shouted please stop that now.

So ..... From then it's got worse and today the sister walked behind me with the dog saying loudly all sorts of shit about the dog and pissing up my car door.

I just keep walking and not retaliating.

My friend suggests crapping in a paper bag, leaving it at their door , setting it alight and knocking on the door.........

I am tempted

OP posts:
tryandtryagain · 21/01/2016 18:26

This behaviour is not passive aggressive. It's just rude and aggressive. I completely understand that bring a childminder you wouldn't verbally attack her with the children around. However I don't know how you kept your hands off her when she's blatantly allowing her dog to urinate in your car. I'd be tempted to get the police involved. It's harassment I believe. Well I'd feel harassed anyway.

TiredButFineODFOJ · 21/01/2016 18:31

This is now agressive!
Get a recording app on your phone for wearing walking about
Also consider posting some doggy incontinence nappies through their door

MammaTJ · 21/01/2016 18:34

Harassment, pure and simple! Yes to contacting the police.

bornwithaplasticspoon · 21/01/2016 18:34

It's harassment. Report to police and keep records/photos

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/01/2016 18:34

I'm wondering what the police would say about their behaviour, it sounds like harassment to me. ASBO-worthy too.

Lanadel · 21/01/2016 18:35

Contact the police, they are harassing you and also, letting an animal pee or deficate out on the street is vile never mind it being in your car. That sort of behaviour is uncalled for and completely vulgar, I can't believe they actually think of doing things like this to anyone.

Skippedthelightfandango · 21/01/2016 18:35

Hmm I would take up watering my garden at times you expect her to be about - when your mindees aren't - and accidentally water the pair of them.

Probably childish to do that though

TheWitTank · 21/01/2016 18:43

A calm "If you continue to harass me I will be contacting the police. I have video and photos of your dog urinating on my car" might shut them up. No need to get into a slanging match -walk away afterwards and ignore any attempts to engage you in an argument. If they continue then do contact through police.

NoMilkNoSugar · 22/01/2016 15:09

My DParents have a issue going on in their Street where someone let's their dog foul and not clear it up. Other neighbours have complained to the council, as they have a warden. Council have been brill, but the issue escalated and the council contacted the police and they are now dealing with it. If you don't want to deal with the police perhaps approach the council. Get photos if you can.

LurkingHusband · 22/01/2016 15:13

Interestingly a story today about a council that's going to DNA test dog shit

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2015/apr/28/dna-testing-dog-poo-have-to-be-barking-council

Although it would have looked a little less April Foolsy if it wasn't Barking council ....

DownstairsMixUp · 22/01/2016 15:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ouryve · 22/01/2016 15:53

Nothing passive aggressive about directly calling you out and deliberately encouraging their dog to pee on your car. It's aggressive.

Contact the police regarding the harrassment and/or the council re the fouling. Take a photo with your camera if you catch them up to anything nasty, again and take a photo if you catch the dog fouling near your house.

Probably worth scattering something like this or good old fashioned pepper dust around the outside of your house to make it less attractive to their dog, now it's got its scent there, too.
www.waitrosepet.com/cat/cat-training/get-off-my-garden-cat-dog-repellent-scatter-crystals-400g?gclid=CMKpy8fivcoCFYU_GwodmYQBug&gclsrc=aw.ds

LaGrosseVache · 22/01/2016 16:04

Wow, if that's passive aggressive then I'd like to see what your idea of full on aggression is!

I'd report her to the police next time she does something like that again.

rumbleinthrjungle · 22/01/2016 16:35

Try finding the number for your local PCSO and talk to them about it? Ours was great about some minor things in the area when there was a spate of low level trespass/vandalism.

ricketytickety · 22/01/2016 17:04

Yep, contact the council. Chances are they know who they are already. People like this cause lots of trouble everywhere they go.

PegsPigs · 22/01/2016 17:09

I'm not one for calling 101 but I would call this harassment now.

honeysucklejasmine · 22/01/2016 17:19

It's definitely harassment and it may even start to impact on you professionally. Report them now. People like this will just keep escalating if you don't tackle it.

shovetheholly · 22/01/2016 17:22

That's just such awful behaviour! What is wrong with some people?! In front of children, too.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. Second what others have said about it being harassment.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 22/01/2016 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenLips · 22/01/2016 17:34

I'd just tell them to fuck off, loudly.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/01/2016 17:45

There's nothing passive about this. It's down right rude and very intimidating and as for allowing or rather telling the dog to piss on your car, well if that were my car. I'd be calling it criminal damage.
They sound like a pair of idiots TBH. "That lady doesn't like you, Fido. Isn't she nasty". The cracked cow'd shit herself Fido answered her. Hmm.

seafoodeatit · 22/01/2016 17:51

Yes to reporting it, this is very clear harassment and needs to be stopped and I would definitely mention to the police that the children are aware and affected. I second the suggestion of a previous poster and getting a recording or two as proof. I'm sorry you have to put up with these awful morons, I hope it gets resolved soon.

LittleBeautyBelle · 22/01/2016 17:52

They are being horrendous! They are harassing you. How nasty they are. Report to the police!

abbsismyhero · 22/01/2016 17:53

pepper spray and grit your footpath and decent dog owner will keep their dog off that shit

LittleBeautyBelle · 22/01/2016 17:54

I meant to ask, do they know you're allergic? If not, you could try one more time to explain to them why you can't have their dog near you. But as nasty as they are, I doubt anything would penetrate their thick skulls!

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