Choosing the family car

[YellowTulips]

So I genuinely don’t know if I am being unreasonable or not, so I thought I’d ask the MN jury and take the feedback on the chin!
So a bit of back story here which I’ll try and keep as brief as possible.
I love cars, always have (legacy of being an only child with a car obsessed father). DH on the other hand, whilst a keen biker, can appreciate a nice car, but ultimately can’t get overly excited or enthused about them.

We’ve been married 13 years and for the first 8 had only one car (mine obviously) which I chose and paid for. We really had a tacit agreement that I had control over cars and him over his bikes (though to a mutually agreed budget in both cases).

Then 5 years ago it became clear we need a 2nd car for a number of reasons. My car was still the “family car” but we bought a second hand Mini Cooper S as DH’s car – mainly for when he needed to be out and about with the kids. All fine and everyone happy.
Then DH changed jobs which meant he was doing long distance travel, which happened to coincide with the timing of me changing my car. So we had a re-think and traded in my car and the Mini and the “family car” for DH whilst I indulged myself (I admit it) on a 2 seater sports car. I chose “my” car and we mutually agreed on the family car.
So now the (very first world) dilemma. We want to replace DH’s car (mine is fine, I love it and the mileage is low). However we can’t agree what to get. My view is that “his” car is the “family” car and that given I have to drive it a lot (as mine is a 2 seater, so pretty much whenever I take the kids somewhere) then I should have equal say in what we get, even if nominally its “his” car (and he still gets to choose his motorbikes!). His view is that it’s “his” car and he should ultimately decide what (nice but boring as he doesn’t get enthused about cars) we get and the fact I have to drive it lots is just a consequence of me choosing a 2 seater for my car.

I appreciate it’s not the worst problem in the world and we are lucky to be able to talk (argue) about a new car. That said am I being unreasonable? Should he have full say over the car or should it be a joint decision? Thanks in advance

I'm researching 5 seater non 4x4's in anticipation of a chat

Lots of 4x4s won't take 3 full car seats across the middle either (especially if you use ISOFIX), I spent the whole weekend looking at cars and testing for exactly that! Even the mitsubishi Shogun (pretty darned big) wouldn't get 3 in the middle without ripping the skin off DH's fingers. The Q7 could do it ( I presume the q5 could too), as could the LR Discovery and the Kia Sportage.

You can often get a booster in the middle though if it's for occasional friend transporting (age dependent).

Thanks but we are way beyond the baby seat stage :-) so that's not an issue.

Lucky for some :) I only have on so should be easy but unfortunately I'm married to a childminder. Try finding a 7 seater that doesn't look like and drive like a bus! He doesn't want to drive them and tried to persuade me to get a Q7...

We've decided on 2 cars instead.

I was going to say he should get to choose as it's not his fault you picked a two seater and have to drive his car BUT I would veto the 4x4 because the running costs are likely to be quite high

You can get 4 x 4 saloons...

Nah, he has his bikes, she has her 2 seater. They're the equivalents. Family car should be a joint decision.

I have to say, as a family with two kids, a tall Dh, moderately tall me and a dog, we used to struggle with a standard estate, presuming you want to go away sometimes. We have an old 4x4 now as our only car (Dh has a motorbike for work) and it is perfect. We tried to fit into a standard estate for a weekend away over New year when ours was in the garage and felt awfully claustrophobic...We were so relieved when the garage phoned and said it was ready just in time!

you could do worse than the F-Pace

Agree the Jag SUV is nice I just don't like/see the point of a 4x4 (for us anyway).

Am on iPad doing car research :-)

Am trying to come up with some options to tempt DH away from the SUV

So thanks to all who posted.

DH and I had a chat and reached an agreement.

I researched 5 seater saloons and (out of 5!) there was one he really liked. He's agreed to look at it and get a test drive.

He gets I don't want a 4x4 but in the spirit of compromise I've also said I'll look at and test drive his favourite.

Then we'll do a comparison/score out of the 2. Gut feel is that after he's driven both he will (cross fingers) much prefer the saloon.

So we are much further ahead than before and actually talking about it amicably rather than us both digging our respective heels in - so thanks again, even those who thought I was U, as it did me pause for thought on how to approach the dilemma

Which 2 cars are you looking at?

We have two cars.

Dh drives the bigger family car. I have the second smaller car.

I always choose my own car, though dh is involved too ad has opinions. But it's ultimately my choice. I drive it the majority of the time.

We big have a say in the family car. Dh will narrow down his choices and has he bigger say as he drives it most BUT I do have a say and can/will veto if I feel the need. I have to be happy driving the bigger car as I need to on occasions - usually whenever I need to take more than 3 people somewhere (I have a Mini) and I'm doing a long drive or need more boot space.

But, we both have an interest in cars and we both drive daily.