To deregister DS1 from school before he gets pushed out?

[sleepinginmycar]

Not that it's ideal atm as more crap than I can handle going on. But DS is excluded from school (again) and I fear that the school will permanently exclude him at the reintegration meeting on Friday.
This will mean his only option will be a PRU and that's his whole future down the pan.
I am seriously considering deregistering him and trying home education for a few months, which will also give him a break from mainstream schooling and might help with his ASD.
He is 13 and supposed to be picking his options this week.
would this be a good time or not?
AIBU?

www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/school-exclusions.aspx - the contact details on this page may be helpful.

As a foster carer of "difficult" teenagers, I am sad to say my experience of PRU's is very negative. No matter how good the staff, facilities and opportunities (and they often are VERY good on paper), the fact remains that the young people have met and become friends with others with more extreme behavioural needs, and therefore their behaviour has deteriorated badly as they joined "the gang". In the majority of situations I have found an PRU to be the beginning of the end of any real education for them. Obviously as a foster carer I have limited say, but were they my own children (I have 4, three with ASD) I would always take the home education option. I am sure the experience of others may be different, and obviously the children I am talking about have very sad young lives as well, but I would certainly avoid this route if you possibly can.

His school record will not matter when he moves on from school if he has medical issues causing his difficulties

Could you arrange a visit to the PRU? It sounds like the current school is failing him and I would certainly be looking for options.

DS has struggled throughout his whole school life. He just does not understand how to socialise with his peers. He speaks before thinking IYSWIM and what he comes out with usually shocks or insults. He is easily led and will do stupid, sometimes dangerous things in order to impress or fit in when others have dared him to. He gets wound up easily which leads to him exploding and lashing out

Potentially either Home Ed or a specialist school (via ECHP) could be really good for him. But not a PRU. It is so wrong that they are focussing on his reactive behaviour and not the cause.

I know what this is like. The schools, including 2 liberal private ones found ds hard work.

After he was excluded from private school at 13 he had part time private tutors and we HE him, he literally educated himself at home, he loves doing the subjects that interest HIM . (the council inspector was very impressed with him and said that he'll do his exams when he wants to). A lot of 13 yr. olds are like this esp. boys IME.

He doesn't have ASD he didn't do exams. He attended music courses and others and now is a musician. It's his life, he has chosen a hard way but that was his choice.

My DS age 15 did not have any diagnosed SEN but had been through a very traumatic time with his birth mum and had some anger management issues as a result which had led to several temp exclusions from his previous school. When he was placed with me, in a different area, none of the local mainstreams would take him, we were only offered the PRU.

My experience with DS ending up in PRU was very negative. Almost all of the other pupils were there due to behavioural exclusions from mainstream school, usually for attacking other pupils or staff members. He made friends with one kid there who had been excluded from his previous school for punching a teacher. Said kid eventually got caught burgling our home about 6mths later :(

Vast majority of pupils were male. There were a handful of female pupils, most of whom had the ambition to leave school and shack up with the local top drug dealer. The male pupils either wanted to be dealers themselves or they just wanted to spend their lives smoking weed, playing Xbox and "banging hos"

DS was there for one school year and by the end of it, three other pupils in the unit had been removed from school as they were serving custodial sentences. Bear in mind there were under 30 pupils total.

DS got into verbal fights every day and physical fights about twice a month. He was constantly trying to wag off sick because he got so stressed at dealing with the other kids. Eventually he ended up not even going into the unit every day and being set work at home when it became apparent he could not cope with attending in person.

I could not have afforded to home ed him but if I had it would have been immeasurably better for him.

I can't say a bad word about the staff, some of whom went far above and beyond the call of duty to help my DS. But they did not have the resources that he needed, and it was totally the wrong environment for him.

Sorry for that rant.

Regarding your specific question about de-registering him before he gets a perm exclusion, I would say it doesn't make any difference, because any school you try to put him in will call the other school for details and turn him down if his record is bad. My DS only had temp exclusions on his record but still none of my local schools would take him.

My empathies OP. I have a similar 13 year old. No ASD diagnosis but he has strong traits. Mine has LD's (IQ of 70) and working memory issues. School were very annoyed that constant detentions and isolations were not rectifying his behaviour issues (which are much like your DS's). They could not get it that he was not deliberately failing his report which included stuff like: focus and concentrate in lessons at all times, complete all classwork - they set him up to fail and get shouted at . I have been through hell with him since Year 1 at Primary.

I have thrown my toys out of the pram with school recently due to the isolations (accusing them of disability discrimination ) and now they are focussing on encouraging positive behaviour and the inclusion manager has taken great pains to build up a positive relationship with him. He has greatly improved by being treated differently.

We have agreed that in September (for Yr 10), he is moving to a technical college for 14 year olds who don't do well in mainstream, not a PRU, he will have two years doing more practical work and then can start normal college. No uniform, not as formal as school.

Is there anything like that available in your area? School should know.

Does anyone like Parent Partnership or a local NAS rep attend the meetings? That would likely really help in the sense that the school would be more likely to behave themselves and give more consideration to his SN (and not treat him as 'just' badly behaved) with a relevant outsider sitting in.

I was also advised, by the school, against the local PRU which I was pushing for as I hoped he would get more specialist help. DS is easily led, impulsive and eager to make friends so I dread to think what he could get up in the 'wrong' crowd.

OP, have you also been posting about serious difficulties in your marriage, and the possibility of you and the DC leaving your matrimonial home?

You have my utmost sympathy, it is such a nightmare when everything hits at once.

Have you had any support with your DS at all? parent partnership, SENCO etc?

the home situation might be very significant if you are thinking about home education. At the very least please mention it to your family solicitor.

Don't delay the Inevitable. He'll probably repeat the same behaviours in a new school when you realise you can't handle home schooling him. The PRU will be the best place and will actually give him the chance of getting a few GCSEs -- more chance than he would in mainstream with bigger classes.

Can you tell us about how his ASD came to be formally diagnosed, OP? Its just that, if he's struggled throughout his whole school life and there's an accepted diagnosis, I'm amazed no further intervention has been put in place beyond isolating him to protect others

Also, since exclusion is generally seen as a last resort, how has the issue of school and home working together on this been addressed? What suggestions have been made by the school and have any of them had any effect?

Do you think that a managed move to another school would be of benefit to him, if it was a school more experienced in working with ASD pupils

Of course, the receiving school would have to agree and it's usually for a fixed time, until everyone sees how it's going. If it works out, he stays, if not, everyone has to think again!

I'm surprised, with a high level of need, that the EHCP has not been previously mentioned, but it will take a while to process. Evidence needs to be gathered, reports from specialists collated, strategies tried and reviewed and it all takes at least six months.

You probably don't have the luxury of time, given the current circumstances. I wouldn't remove him from school though, because if you do, the authority has no responsibility to provide him with an education. If he is excluded, they have to provide something for him, limited though it may be.

Has there been any advice from an ASD advisory teacher or a teacher who works in an ASD school. The school should have strategies in place to try to manage and pre empt the behaviours that are getting him into difficulties.

Okay so I am getting the general idea here that a PRU could be a good place, but not for my DS with his ASD.
I have been pushing for a formal diagnosis for him since was at pre school as he lashed out at other children there, so they asked that we removed him.
Ed psychologist was involved from that stage on all the way through primary, but no help with diagnosis.
I went to GP on numerous ocassions asking for him to be assessed and he was finally, but not until he was 9 years old.
He was formally diagnosed with autism, although high functioning as he has a high academic ability. I was so relieved as I stupidly thought that this would mean that the school would have to put extra support into place. Nothing happened, nothing changed. They pretty much dismissed his diagnosis and this attitude continued when he went up to secondary school.
I have been in touch with IPSEA a while ago when he was first threatened with a managed move and they were very helpful and told me to ask the school to sort out a EHCP but they said it wouldn't help DS at all and it would be pointless.
At the moment we have MATS involved again but I don't hold out much hope as they keep getting involved, then dropping off the radar again.
At the moment there is a Pastoral Support Programme in place which states that the school will send a letter to community paed, will apply to TAPS, and a BSS referral.
They said they would email me on a weekly basis to inform me of any issues, but no emails, just a phone call telling me to fetch him home immediately as he had been fighting another boy.

Should add that on this Pastoral Support Programme it states SEN COP then next to it is written NO. No idea what that means.

My friends ds 8, was permenantly excluded from mainstream school in the summer, he has undiagnosed ASD (parents are seeing the Paeditrician and are ds undergoing assessment), as a result he was sent to a PRU, and it is the best thing that could have happened. His previous school were useless, and put in minimum effort. The PRU got the professionals involved, started the EHCP, which previous school refused to do. Ds has now got EHCP and has really turned himself around with the help of the dedicated staff there. He will hopefully be going to a mainstream school with an ASD unit in September, after a long transition period. So PRUs are fantastic!

Hugs to OP.

And a question for the knowledgeable posters on here - is a school allowed to refuse to do an EHCP?

This is a tricky situation. I wouldn't completely write off a PRU but for a boy with ASD they could prove a tricky place.

Getting an EHCP in place is the most important thing you can do. The fact the school is refusing is wrong. I have to say I am fairly new to the special needs world but an EHCP is a multi-agency thing so it might be worth trying to speak with someone in children's services at the council. You have the diagnosis and high-functioning ASD is definitely something covered.

This won't be helpful immediately but I teach in the foundation learning department of an FE College and we take students from schools on a link programme from 14 onwards which means they spend one morning/day a week at college trying out different courses and working on English and Maths with specialist support. The course I teach on is for students with ASD, mild learning difficulties/disabilities and those who have had a difficult education and we have students who have come on early transfer a 15. We offer entry level 3 qualifications and those who complete the course are then prepared to go onto a level 1 or 2 course within the "mainstream" with continued support. I don't know what the foundation learning provision is like around your area but it could definitely be worth exploring for next year. If you do get an EHCP in place then progression routes are written in and any education providers named in the plan need to provide an education to your DS.

Good luck!

OP, I am horrified on you and your son's behalf.

You can apply for an EHCP on your own behalf, and the school cannot refuse to do it - that is for the council to decide, and you have rights to appeal if you don't agree with their decision. IPSEA have lots of advice and standard letters you can use.

You can also get support from the independent support organised by the Council for Disabled Children. You can find your local independent support service here.

We found that they would send somebody along to the meetings with the school and the council, and that they helped us to fill in the forms. I would say get in touch with them asap, and they might even be able to arrange for somebody to come to the meeting on Friday - or to a swiftly arranged follow up meeting involving the council and the school.

I would also support the advice for you to visit the PRU. It may be as bad as you fear, or it may not. But you will know if you go.

Best of luck.

And a question for the knowledgeable posters on here - is a school allowed to refuse to do an EHCP?

It's the council that makes the decisions about whether an EHC needs assessment is required, and whether to issue an EHCP. The request for an assessment can be instituted either by the school or the parent. If the parent starts it off, the school will be asked to submit reports. The school can of course say that it doesn't think the child needs an EHCP, but in this case they would need to explain why they keep excluding him if they think they can meet his needs without any extra support.